| 1.17 THE WHITE HOUSE PRO-AM ABBY: If you're nervous I'll detect it and mock you mercilessly. JEFFREY: Okay. ABBY: Sure, some people might think it's cruel for me to mock a 14-year-old boy whose only crime is getting nervous on television in front of millions and millions of people, but I'm gonna do it anyway. ABBY: But you're not gonna get nervous, are you? Because if you do I'll beat your brains out. Not me personally, 'cause I have people who do that for me, but you get the idea. LILLY: Your guy steps out of a motorcade and that's three columns inches above the fold. My guy's on page 23. SAM: Your guy's married to our guy and our guy won an election. LILLY: Your guy's got a 49% approval rating. My guy's at 61. And bite me. SAM: Ah. Point well argued. POTUS: Market's gonna open 200 points down. LEO: If we're lucky. POTUS: When was the last time we were lucky? LEO: Super Tuesday. POTUS: I'm not ready to jump into bed with Ron Ehrlich just yet. Making me one of the few people in my family who can say that. JOSH: I'm gonna go to my meeting now, but go 'head and keep talking, it'll be like I never left. SAM: And that's gonna be sad for me 'cause I'm gonna live longer than you. TOBY: Don't bet on it. TOBY: We're waiting to name Ehrlich out of respect. JOSH: For whom. TOBY: For the dead. And how I wish I were one of them. JOSH: We're gonna do Good cop/Bad cop. TOBY: No, we're really not. JOSH: Why? TOBY: 'Cause this isn't an episode of Hawaii Five-O? How 'bout you be the good cop, I be the cop that doesn't go to the meeting? JOSH: I promised them you'd be there, if you don't go they'll start out insulted. TOBY: If I go, there's a good chance they're gonna end up insulted. POTUS: Try to find out who the friends of my wife are, then take them out back and have them shot. Can I do that? LEO: Yeah. POTUS: Leo says I can do that. POTUS: Why aren't you taking math? ZOEY: 'Cause I graduated high school. POTUS: They don't like that the daughter of the president is dating a young black man. ZOEY: Charlie? POTUS: Zoey, please don't tell me you're dating more than one guy. ZOEY: No. POTUS: Because one guy is actually one more than I feel comfortable with. POTUS: You want the job? ZOEY: Yeah. POTUS: Can't have it. Know why? No math. JOSH: This is why you have a reputation of being a pain in the ass. TOBY: I cultivated that reputation. JOSH: You like winning, don't you? TOBY: Saves you from having to say the word "please". BECKY: I heard the "clang" and the "ow" and knew it had to be Sam Seaborn. CHARLIE: Hey, listen to this. 100 years ago, a black guy couldn't show up with a white girl to a club opening, for fear he'd be killed. ABBY: Are you covering the event? DANNY: The Many Women of Michigan? DANNY: Plus it'll get me in trouble with the first lady. POTUS: Welcome to the club, Danny, we had jackets made. DANNY: Sir, if it makes you feel any better, I just gave some sage dating advice to Charlie Young. POTUS: You're coaching my personal aide on how best to score with my daughter? Yes, Danny, that does make me feel better. JOSH: Why would anyone wanna diminish a woman's sexual desire? DONNA: We can get out of hand. LEO: According to one pharmascist, heroine clears the complexion, gives boyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, the perfect guardian of health. Now they tell me. JED: No, no "however", just be wrong. Just stand there in your wrongness and be wrong and get used to it! CHARLIE: I feel bad about that. ZOEY: Are there other things you feel bad about too? CHARLIE: Yes. ZOEY: Name them, please. CHARLIE: I...off the top of my head, I couldn't give you a comprehensive list, just suffice it to say that anything I've done to upset you, even if it only exists in your kinda confused little mind, I really apologize for. |