| 1.22 WHAT KIND OF DAY HAS IT BEEN |
| POTUS: Two lawyers are having an argument. One of them stands up and shouts “You’re lying!” the other one says “yes I am, but hear me out!” POTUS: A man once said this. “Decisions are made by those who show up”. So are we failing you or are you failing us? A little of both. POTUS: You come to the end of a long day, you sit back, you open a beer, you watch a sporting event. That’s what men do. CHARLIE: They watch girls softball? POTUS: When that’s what’s on, that’s what they watch. Either that, or a cricket match between Scotland and Bermuda. Now, I am an educated man, Charlie, but when someone tries to explain cricket to me, I want to hit ‘em over the head with a teapot. POTUS: Listen, have I gotten any of these names right yet? CHARLIE: No, sir, but you came damn close on a couple of ‘em. POTUS: He’s up there with four, red-bellied, Japanese newts. He wants to see how a newt’s inner-ears, which are remarkably similar to humans, are affected by zero-gravity. Y’know what he calls them, CJ? CJ: Astro-newts? POTUS: 100% correct. POTUS: I’m sorry, CJ, you said there’s a pitcher of water and a drinking glass. And the water gets into the glass…how? JOSH: Nothing like a meeting ya gotta carb up for. POTUS: Now can I blame Congress? JOSH: An F117 is a stealth fighter, right? LEO: Yeah. JOSH: At some point we’re gonna be talking about how they shot down a stealth fighter. TOBY: A stealth fighter? JOSH: Yeah. TOBY: How did it get seen? JOSH: I’m sure someone is looking into that. TOBY: I would think so. JOSH: In its defense, the stealth fighter is a generation of technology beyond the B2 Spirit Bomber. TOBY: It should have stealth capability. JOSH: Yeah. TOBY: ‘Cause if it doesn’t, we should call it something else. SAM: I’m also not wild about the hand-held mic – can we get him wired? POTUS: Nah, ‘cause with the mic and the stool, I can do the townhall meeting and then do a couple of sets at the Copa. POTUS: Are you channeling Mom now? JOSH: It looked like you wanted to hug me. LEO: Oh, man, did you read that wrong. LEO: What is THAT? JOSH: That’s the signal LEO: Looks like a hip-hop gesture. JOSH: It’s a plane taking off. LEO: It doesn’t look like a plane taking off. CHARLIE: Zoey, I work in a building with the smartest people in the world. (Josh forgets he doesn’t have a desk chair and falls on the floor.) POTUS: You’re not gonna spoil my good time for me. MRS L: Oh, Mr. President I think we both know from experience that’s not true. POTUS: Yeah. MRS L: You need to be in the car, sir. POTUS: Do you see me walking out that door? MRS L: No, I see you standing here and arguing with a Senior Citizen. |