NURSE: Sir, do you have any medical conditions?
POTUS: Well...I've been shot.
JOSH: On weekends he cleans the gutters and yellls at the squirrels.
LEO: Why does he yell at the squirrels?
JOSH: Because they eat the seed out of the bird feeders.
LEO: Y'know, they make a thing now -
JOSH: He knows, he just prefers to admonish them.
SAM: You wanna go grab a hotdog?
JOSH: it's 9:30 in the morning.
SAM: Yeah, they'll be fresh.
JOSH: If I see the real thing in New Hampshire, should I tell you about it?
SAM: You won't have to?
JOSH: Why not?
SAM: You've got a pretty bad poker face.
TOBY: I'm just guessing. I'm pretty drunk.
JED: Please tell me this isn't one of the twelve steps.
LEO: that's what is is, right after admitting we're powerless over alcohol but a higher power can restore us to sanity, that's where you come in.
JED: Leo -
LEO: Because I"m tired of it, year after year, trying to get excited over a candidate who can speak in complete sentences and deciding between the lesser of WHO CARES, of setting the bar so low I can't even look at it. they say a good man can't be elected president. I don't believe that, do you?
DANNY: You just named six people, who's in charge?
CJ: The Canadians. You understand I'm talking about the hockey team.
TOBY: Donna...Josh was hit.
DONNA: Hit with what?
POTUS: Look what happened.