| 2.13 BARTLET'S THIRD STATE OF THE UNION |
| JOEY (KENNY): Joshua Lyman, you have the cutest little butt in professional politics! JOSH: Seriously, Kenny, that better have been her talking. JOEY: My plane had mechanical difficulties. JOSH: This is the state of the union, there was nothing you could do? JOEY: No. Because, as a child, I never paid attention during airplane mechanics class. JOSH: Is this the sort of knoll, cowardesque wit I can expect all night long? JOEY: Yes. SAM: You look like a Rockette. CJ: Yeah? You know WHY I’m not wearing pants? SAM: I just assumed it was the usual reason. SAM: There are bathrobes at the gym? CJ: In the women’s locker room. SAM: But not the men’s. CJ: No. SAM: That’s outrageous. There’s…thousand men working here and fifty women. CJ: Yeah, and it’s the BATHROBES that’s outrageous. AINSLEY: Have you been watching? SAM: Yes. AINSLEY: Aren’t I delightful? SAM: (Beat) Yes. Here’s what I’d like. I’d like it if you didn’t say you weren’t 100% sure that the president’s suggestion is Constitutional. AINSLEY: The ACLU has a fair case to make against the President. SAM: They’ll do a fine job of making it without the help of the President’s lawyer. AINSLEY: That’s a fair point. SAM: Can I talk to you about adrenaline? AINSLEY: Adrenaline? SAM: You’re feelin’ it right now and it’s gonna get even more ‘cause it’s a big night and we’re a hit and you’ve never experienced anything like this. AINSLEY: And you think I’m gonna have a nutty. SAM: I’m saying don’t drink ‘til you’re off television. AINSLEY: God, Sam, thanks for that debating tip, your feel for nuance, you say I SHOULDN’T be drunk when I’m representing the White House. SAM: Yes. And please don’t forget that you’re a blonde, republican girl, and that nobody likes you. AINSLEY: (Beat) I’m going back on television now. ABBY: But when the numbers are crunched and the polls are taken, I think everyone here can agree that the TRULY important thing is that I changed my hair. JOSH: The country is talking and I need to hear what they’re saying! JOEY: They’re saying you’re an egomaniac who needs to be told that the public adores you and that you’ll have the numbers in five minutes. JOSH: Okay, I don’t think that is what they’re saying. JOEY: You’ll have the numbers. JOSH: In five minutes? JOEY: In five minutes. (The power goes out) JOEY: May be a bit longer now. POTUS: And what should I say to her? SAM: Something like “Ainsley, a lot of people assumed you were hired because you were a blonde, Republican sex kitten and they’re obviously wrong. Keep up the good work.” |