| 2.19 BAD MOON RISING OLIVER: I need a dictophone. AIDE 1: You have one on your desk. OLIVER: Doesn’t work. AIDE 2: What’s wrong with it? OLIVER: Doesn’t work. AIDE 1: He’s asking- OLIVER: It’s stuck on record, it won’t stop recording things, so it’s exactly what you want lying around the White house Counsel’s office ‘cause there’s never been a problem with THAT before. LEO: You’re scared of Babish. JED: Oh, like you’re not. LEO: No, because we are both men of Chicago. JED: What is it about people from Chicago that they’re so happy to have lived there, so many people can’t wait to tell me they’re from Chicago and when I talk to them they’re living anywhere BUT Chicago? LEO: You wouldn’t understand. JED: He looks down his nose at me ‘cause I’m not a lawyer. LEO: Yes. JED: Didn’t go to law school, got a Ph.D. in economics instead. LEO: Your parents were very proud. JED: Yeah, and all that happened was I won a Nobel Prize and was elected President, so I guess that decision didn’t really pay off. LEO: Yeah. JED: Should I run back and get my Nobel Prize? LEO: I think he knows you’ve got one. JED: Guy’s been here three months and he’s got a nicer office than I do. LEO: He’s got a nicer office than I do. JED: That matters less to me. JED: Well, Oliver, it really boils down to this. I’m gonna tell you a story and then I want you to tell me whether I’ve engaged sixteen people in a massive criminal conspiracy in order to defraud the public and win a presidential election. JOSH: The number of people whose permission I need before I do whatever the hell I want…Lemme tell you something. There’s really a lot to be said for fascism. JOSH: You object to the bailout. DONNA: I do. JOSH: Because in the world of Donnatella Moss, we should all love one another just as long as it doesn’t cost YOU anything. DONNA: Well, yes, I suppose that’s one small-minded way of putting it. SAM: Charlie, just how smart are you? CHARLIE: I’ve got some game. SAM: I’m less visually observant than others but I make up for it. EMILY: How? SAM: With cunning and gile. DONNA: I’m not tough, nor am I zeniful, I just think it’s time for some tough love. JOSH: Well, not right here, but if you wanna run home and get your equipment… SAM: You did some decorating. A woman’s touch. AINSLEY: It was a guy named Kirk. SAM: Hang on – I know this music. AINSLEY: Isn’t it great? SAM: Yeah. There’s a reason I like it. AINSLEY: Well, it’s beautiful. SAM: Yeah, but there’s something else- AINSLEY: It’s called “Air on a G String”, could that be it? SAM: Yes. AINSLEY: Hey – you never know. With the liability shield. Maybe you’re not as good as you think. SAM: Yes I am. MRS L.: Still filling out forms, Charlie? CHARLIE: Well, I’m gonna be filling out forms for quite some time. It’s basically gonna be my major. MRS L: What IS gonna be your major? CHARLIE: I really dunno. MRS L: Gonna join the Glee Club? CHARLIE: I don’t think so. MRS L: Aw. Glee Club’s important. CHARLIE: I’m just gonna havetime for a couple classes at night – I’m not gonna have time to be that gleeful. MRS L: How ‘bout fencing? MARGARET: You’re taking fencing? CHARLIE: I’m not taking fencing. MRS L: He’s not taking Glee Club either. MARGARET: Fencing’s good, ‘cause you learn the philosophy of self-defense. CHARLIE: Well, my philosophy of self-defense has a lot to do with running as fast as I can. DONNA: I’m a mad-woman, CJ, and it doesn’t stop with the leak. CJ: What are you talking about? DONNA: Call the authorities, send them to my parents’ house in Madison. CJ: Why? DONNA: They’ll find the Lindbergh baby in the basement. CJ: Okay- DONNA: Also the post-it notes reminding me where I left Jimmy Hoffa. CJ: Get out. DONNA: I framed Roger Rabbit! AIDE: This is very important. CJ: You’re the first person who’s understood that. AIDE: Mind if I give you a suggestion that’ll make this go a lot faster? CJ: Go ‘head. AIDE: If you dunk the suspect in a deep well of water and they drown, they’re not a witch. CJ: Okay, that’s it. AIDE: I saw Lizzie Proctor speakin’ with the Devil! CJ: Shut up! JED: Bring it on. |