2.21 18TH AND POTOMAC And a big ol' thanks to Flip for doing these for me! LEO: Let’s go. POTUS: Where we goin’? LEO: The basement. POTUS: Why? LEO: ‘Cause I don’t like the way it looks: the seven of us meeting in the middle of the night. POTUS: You like the way it looks if we’re meeting in the basement? LEO: Let’s go. JOSH: Is there anything in there we’re going to like? Joey through Kenny: We are, in fact, eating more beets. JOSH: Okay. Joey through Kenny: Mr. President, I polled 1,170 registered voters in Michigan, giving their governor a hypothetical, concealed— POTUS: Excuse me.  How many people in this room know Kenny’s last name? (No answer) LEO: It’s fine. POTUS: I believe this operation is no longer covert. Joey through Kenny: Mr. President, Kenny’s been with me for eleven years.  To trust me is to trust him. SAM: Hang on, if we take him from the Mural Room to the press conference, isn’t a smart reporter gonna ask, “Mr. President, are you planning on seeking re-election?” C.J.: A smart repor... (sighs)  Sam, Ted Baxter’s gonna ask, “Mr. President are you seeking re-election?” CHARLIE: You’re getting an eight speaker stereo? MRS L: No. CHARLIE: Six speakers. MRS L: No. CHARLIE: How many speakers? MRS L: I have two ears, how many speakers do I need? CHARLIE: At least six and a subwoofer. MRS L: I am not getting a subwoofer. CHARLIE: How ‘bout the tow package? MRS L: The tow package? CHARLIE: To tow your boat. MRS L: (laughs a little) I don’t have a boat. CHARLIE: What about a camper? MRS L: No. CHARLIE: What do you tow? MRS L: Groceries. CHARLIE: You could probably put those in the trunk. MRS L: Yeah. CHARLIE: Tinted windows? JOSH: Hey. MRS L: Hello, Josh. CHARLIE: Mrs. Landingham’s picking up her new car today. JOSH: Really? MRS L: Yes, and I wish I hadn’t told anyone.  Why do men think women can’t buy a car without a man? JOSH: It’s an old stereotype, Mrs. L.  Did you get the extended service warranty? MRS L: No. JOSH: Women MRS L: (Only a little annoyed) What do you want? JOSH: I got a message Leo wanted to see me. MRS L: He’s in his office. JOSH: Did you get a tow package? CHARLIE: See? LEO: (really annoyed) MARGARET! (she enters) Where’s Josh? MARGARET: He’s on his way. LEO: He remembers where my office is, right? JOSH: Leo, calm down; I’m right here. MARGARET: He’s right here. LEO: Get out. SAM: We did something wrong or we didn’t. C.J.: Well, fantastic, Sam; I didn’t realize it was that simple. CHARLIE: How are you gonna tow your camper without a tow package? MRS L: I have never been camping. CHARLIE: Neither have I and I was hoping you’d take me.  I’d be sitting there fishing, listening to the Orioles on a transistor radio. MRS L: What would I be doing? CHARLIE: Warding off bears, that kind of thing.  CHARLIE: No, seriously.  You paid sticker price? MRS L: Yes. CHARLIE: Why? MRS L: That was the price. CHARLIE: Mrs. Landingham. MRS L: Says so, right on the sticker. C.J.: I was looking for Leo. CHARLIE: He’s in the Situation Room. C.J.: That’s usually a good sign. STEVE: You didn’t answer my question. C.J.: How ‘bout that?  I’ll be back in a few hours. POTUS: I don’t want to make the same mistakes over again. LEO: Yeah, not when there are so many *new* mistakes we can make. MRS L: Y’know, I could beat you up anytime I want, sir. POTUS: Secret Service would have you down like a calf at a rodeo. ABBY: You all right? SAM: Yes, ma’am. ABBY: Sure you don’t want some acetylsalicylic acid?  Aspirin, my brother. SAM: (grinning) What a dumb major you had. OLIVER: Mrs. Bartlet, I want to talk to you about— ABBY: (forcefully) Dr. Bartlet.  When did I stop being Dr. Bartlet?  When, in the campaign, did I decide that women were going to like me more if I called myself ‘Mrs.’?  When did I decide that women were that stupid? TOBY: Leo, this is insane.  Plain and simple. LEO: What is?  Oh, never mind.  What isn’t? TOBY: You don’t think it’s crazy? LEO: I don’t even know what we’re talking about. SAM: Good evening. LEO: Sam, what do you know? SAM: I know that fluid accumulating in the semicircular canals of the vestibulo-cochlear nerve is usually what’ll account for dizziness. LEO: Charlie? CHARLIE: Leo, there was an accident at 18th and Potomac.  Mrs. Landingham was driving her car back here. LEO: What happened? CHARLIE: There was a drunk driver and they ran the light at 18th and Potomac.  They ran it at a high rate of speed. LEO: Charlie, is she all right? CHARLIE: No.  She’s dead.