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JOSH: Can I ask a question?
DONNA: I had a plan.
JOSH: When you say “In one of these boxes-“
DONNA: I had a plan! Each of these boxes is numbered, there’s a piece of paper with a number and a corresponding description of each box.
JOSH: Where’s the piece of paper? (She gives him a look) It’s in one of these boxes.
DONNA: I had a plan. (Long pause) I grew up on a farm.
JOSH: You grew up in a condo.
DONNA: It was near a farm. And it was cute and it was peppy and I always did well on my nineteenth century English Literature midterms until you came along and sucked me into your life of crime.
JOSH: Hey, I’m not the-
DONNA: White-Collar Crime Boy.

JOSH: I’ll be in the office.
DONNA: Your office is down the corridor about 200 yards, try not to commit any felonies on the way.

TOBY: I’m leaving now…I’m leaving for this meeting…This meeting where I will compromise…why do we compromise? Because we are ordered to, because compromising on the Estate Tax prevents Republicans from going for an even bigger tax cut which would help rest the White House. So with my compromising little hands I go to this meeting…The Estate Tax, which Republicans have cleverly dubbed “The Death Tax” there’s nothing that Republicans do better than naming things so I go to this meeting because I agree with Republicans about self-sufficiency, about lifting yourself up by your boot straps just solong as your children’s children never have to work a day in their life, so I go to this meeting…Oh, I go to this meeting, Ginger, and though I compromise, I draw a line in the sand, I’m there to make sure that only wealthy millionaires and not billionaires are exempt from the Estate Tax…Reelect the President, Bonnie, he’s on the side of Millionaires and not BILLIONAIRES!
BONNIE: Toby, they canceled the meeting.

BRUNO: You have a killer body, y’know that?
CJ: Matter of fact, I do.

AINSLEY: Hey. You need a haircut.
SAM: Shouldn’t you be somewhere keeping me out of jail?
AINSLEY: I’m takin’ a break.

CJ: I want you to get with one of your reporter friends from a conservative paper.
AINSLEY: You really think we have a secret handshake, don’t you?
CJ: Do you?
AINSLEY: Yes.

CONNIE: How ya doin’?
SAM: Good, how bout you?
CONNIE: Good. So the thing about me is I’m a brilliant political mind.
SAM: Yeah.
CONNIE: Ph.D. in Political Economy from Oxford, that’s not an easy get.
SAM: Yeah.
CONNIE: Bruno and Doug know I can handle the tough meeting that’s why they’re sending me with you to meet Victor Campos.
SAM: Yeah.
CONNIE: I have an exceptional mind.
SAM: Yeah.
CONNIE: I don’t know who Victor Campos is.
SAM: Yeah.
CONNIE: Look, pal, I went to Oxford, okay, which is in England.
SAM: You weren’t kidding about that exceptional mind.
CONNIE: Look-
SAM: England’s in Europe, right?

KATIE: Stop being coy, CJ.
CJ: I was born this way.

CAROL: When something catches on fire it’s no longer our policy to put it out?
CJ: That’s the kind of thing they shouldn’t say, put that on the memo with a circle and a red line through it.

DONNA: Why are you a Republican?
CLIFF: Because I hate poor people. I hate them, Donna. They’re all so poor. And many of them talk funny and have poor table manners. My father slaved away at his fortune 500 company he inherited so I could go to Choke, Brown, and Harvard and see that this country isn’t overrun by poor people and lesbians.

CLIFF: You agree with that?
DONNA: No, it’s crap, but you’re really cute.