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DONNA: You can’t just wear a pre-tied tie?
JOSH: Cause it’s not the same
DONNA: It looks the same
JOSH: At the end ya wanna be able to rip it off like Tony Bennett
DONNA: You think the tie’s the only thing between you and Tony Bennett?
JOSH: He’s also shorter than me.

POTUS: What do you think they’re gonna be talking about?
LEO: I think they’re planning a surprise party.

POTUS: Y’know what we’re starting with tonight?
JOSH: No, sir.
POTUS: Hot pumpkin soup, cheese niyoki, and a shev briosh.
JOSH: Is anything you just said food?

CJ: 23 Nobel Prize winners in the room, I couldn’t be seated next to Literature or, I dunno, Peace or something?
LEO: What’s her problem?
TOBY: She thinks she wont’ be able to make conversation with the guy even though she knows the year he was born and his name.
CJ: You gotta be a cryptographer. They speak in combinations of letters that don’t spell anything but end up meaning table salt.

CJ: …HR10, a bill repealing the Estate Tax which opponents sometimes call the Death Tax or the We’re Coming to Get Your Children Tax.

SHERRY: CJ, can you tell us what you’re wearing?
CJ: It’s a dress.

CJ: Na is Sodium, it comes from the English word “Soda” so you would think the abbreviation would have something to do with that, but no, it comes from the Latin “natrium.”
MARGARET: What does “natrium” mean?
CJ: It means soda.

CJ: Okay. I’m gonna change my clothes.
CHARLIE: I’ll watch.

JOSH: After that you can have one of our guys try and attach an amendment to the override.
DONNA: What kind of amendment?
JOSH: Doesn’t matter…In order to qualify for the Estate Tax Repeal the estate must have…astroturf.
DONNA: Yeah. Still it’s almost hard to figure why Congress can’t get anything done.

CHARLIE: Doesn’t immunity imply guilt?
LEO: Not necessarily-
CHARLIE: And if someone in my position takes a deal to protect himself, what’s that say to his employer? That they was wrong to trust him.
LEO: Don’t be a hero.
CHARLIE: Why not?

CJ: I changed my clothes because I didn’t think it was appropriate to talk about the death of two teenagers while wearing a ball gown and you knew that ‘cause you may be stupid but you’re not stupid, y’know what I’m sayin’? Security’s gonna take your credentials, you’ll call my office every day and I’ll decide if you’re allowed in the room. I’m takin’ your spot on Pebble Beach, you can do your standups from Lafayette Park. One more word out of your mouth and every station in town but yours gets an exclusive with the President. Hunting season on me is over. And the chemical abbreviation for table salt is NaCl.