3.08 The Women of Qumar TOBY: It’s not gonna be a big deal. SAM: Isn’t that what we usually say right before something becomes a big deal? POTUS: Well how should I deal with guilt? TOBY: Be more like me. DONNA: Josh. JOSH: Could I get ten minutes without being interrupted by benality? ABBY: It’s not benality, it’s the boss’s wife. JOSH: Good morning, ma’am.  (To Donna) A little heads up woulda been nice. DONNA: I said “Josh.” ABBY: See? Now you’re wishing it woulda been benality. LARRY: Our authorization bill has more pork than a pig-picking festival. CJ: A pig-picking festival? LARRY: Yeah. CJ: More and more I’m in favour of English being the national language. TOBY: You think murder’s gonna overtake health care and education on the campaign trail? SAM: No, you’re right, ‘cause health care and education’re much sexier. JOSH: What are those? AMY: Those are balloon animals. JOSH: I’m sorry? AMY: They’re balloon animals.  I have nephews who like balloon animals so I got someone to teach me. JOSH: Are they…abstract? AMY: I’m a beginner! SAM: Can I explore it? LEO: Knock yourself out.  As a matter of fact, go ahead.  Knock yourself out. JOSH: I’m a friend of the workin’ Ma. DONNA: You want her to have sewing notions. JOSH: I do. CJ: How’d it go? JOSH: I showed her who’s boss. CJ: Who’d it turn out to be? JOSH: That’s still unclear. POTUS: History can’t be reduced to dates and names. CHARLIE: Well, I’m pretty sure this final can. JOSH: Say, Donna, you’ve worked as a prostitute. DONNA: Yeah? JOSH: Let’s just say. DONNA: Okay. DONNA: What? JOSH: The rare valid point. DONNA: I’ll be…back on my street corner. CJ: Y’know, if I was living in Qumar I wouldn’t be able to say “Shove it up your ass, Toby”, but since I’m not, shove it up your ass, Toby. POTUS: You’re changing, Toby. TOBY: A very very little bit. POTUS: Go and apologize to CJ for whatever you did. TOBY: I didn’t do anything. POTUS: Oh, like that matters. NANCY: The Nazis were a bad analogy, CJ, we’re not fighting a war with Qumar. CJ: Well, this isn’t the point, but we will, of course we’ll be fighting a war with Qumar one day and you know it, so, at least we’ll be familiar with the weapons they’re using. NANCY: We need Kalifa Air Base.  We refuel there and we keep – CJ: We don’t need it, it’s convenient. NANCY: CJ- CJ: We don’t need it.  We’ve got Turkey, we’ve got Bahraen, we’ve got Diego Garcia.  Qumar’s convenient. NANCY: Yes, it’s convenient. CJ: They beat women, Nancy.  They hate women.  The only reason they keep Qumari women alive is to make more Qumari men. NANCY: So what do you want me to do about it? CJ: How about instead of suggesting we sell guns to them suggesting that we SHOOT the guns at them.  And by the way, not to change the subject, but how are we supposed to have any moral credibility when we talk about gun control and making sure the guns don’t get in the hands of the wrong people.  God, Nancy, what the hell are we defining as the right people? NANCY: This is the real world.  We can’t isolate our enemies. CJ: I know about the real world and I’m not suggesting we isolate them. NANCY: You’re suggesting we eliminate them. CJ: I’m not suggesting anything, I don’t suggest foreign policy around here. NANCY: You are right now. CJ: It’s the 21st Century, Nancy, the world’s gotten smaller.  I don’t know how we can tolerate this kind of hatred anymore especially when all it does is continue the cycle of Anti-American hatred!  But that’s not the point either. NANCY: Then what’s the point? CJ: The point is that apartheid was an East Hampton clam bake compared to what we laughingly refer  to as the life these women lead and if we had sold M1A1’s to South Africa 15 years ago you woulda burned the building down!  Thank God we never needed to refuel in Johannesburg! NANCY: It’s a big world, CJ.  And everybody has guns.  And I’m doing the best I can. CJ: They beat the women, Nancy! CJ: We have two birthdays today so we have cake.  One cake.  It’s good to share.