3.12 The Two Bartlets AMY: Josh, you and I have spent four nights together, I didn’t break up with him for you, I’m not pathetic stalking woman who…y’know…does things… JOSH: (Picking up the phone) Time #1 was on the steps in front of my apartment when you kissed me, it was snowing; Time #2 was when you came over after the State of the Union; Time #3 was at your place when you put on your bootleg tape of the Stones at Wembley Stadium and put on your feather boa and sang “Honky-Tonk Woman”; Time #4 involved a- LEO: Josh, I’m gonna stop you right here, okay? JOSH: (Long pause) Leo? LEO: Yeah. JOSH: Anyone else in the room? MARGARET: Hey, Josh. CJ: I don’t get it, how can you not wanna see the Butter Cow?  You understand it’s a life-size cow made entirely of butter!  Also Butter Elvis and a Butter Last Supper which has, I swear to God, Toby… TOBY: Butter on the table. CJ: It’s got butter on the table, right between Butter James and Butter Peter! CJ: Muschomp was the father of Dadaism.  (Pause) The Dada of Dada. TOBY: It’s like there’s nothing you can do about that joke, you know it’s coming but you just have to stand there. CJ: The cow I made out of butter?  That’s how I like MY irony served, my friend. SAM: Am I right? TOBY: I have no idea. SAM: Then we’ll say I’m right. POTUS: I was trying to avoid a quote. TOBY: As well as nouns or pronouns. SAM: “Is there any reason you could not render an impartial verdict?” DONNA: I hate criminals. SAM: “Do you have any feelings that might influence the jury to not render an impartial verdict?” DONNA: I hate criminals and I assume that if you’re in the court room you must’ve done SOMETHING wrong, so… SAM: Yeah.  The judge is gonna throw you in jail. SAM: This is like Dungeons and Dragons camp all over again. TOBY: He was Uncle Fluffy.  It was like Dr. Jekyll and Uncle Fluffy all over again. LEO: I hear things. JOSH: Yeah. LEO: I try to forget them as quickly as possible. LEO: My wife lives in my house and I live in a hotel.  And this is why. DONNA: The trick is to appear unsuitable, not just for this jury but for any jury while, obviously, avoiding a contempt citation, so wouldn’t you think if I just explained to them that my boss is a lawyer, my lawyer’s a lawyer, and I’m dating a lawyer- JOSH: It’s jury duty, it’s not appendectomy, it’s jury duty!  Do it, don’t do it, but if you don’t do it, you don’t get to complain about the OJ verdict. SAM: What ARE we keeping at the bullion depository in Ft. Knox? CJ: Soup?