| 3.17 Stirred AAI: I haven’t chaired in awhile, what do we do next? AA2: Now is when we usually start drinking. AA3: Actually, I wanted to talk about something before we start. AA4: If you’re going to try to get my committee to fund that idiot-ass airplane that can’t fly- AA3: It CAN fly. AA4: That’s right, it just can’t LAND. AA5: Small price to pay to be able to fly. AA3: Actually I wanted to talk about Leo. LEO: I’ll fund the plane but I’m not gonna fly on it. SAM: My idea’s totally inviable? JOSH: Well, you’re a Democrat, it’s a pretty big club. JOSH: I’ve lost my binder from National Strategies. DONNA: The blue one? JOSH: No, the black one with the secret launch codes. DONNA: Okay, well, Mrs. Morello’s retiring- JOSH: Not quite as bad as dying. SAM: Got a minute? TOBY: If I said “no”, would it stop you? POTUS: I love doing this. CHARLIE: Filing tax returns. POTUS: Yeah. CHARLIE: Okay. POTUS: What? CHARLIE: I was just thinking about the plurality of Americans who made the decision to pull a lever with your name on it. POTUS: Suckers! POTUS: If only technology could invent some way to get in touch with you in an emergency, some sort of telephonic device with a personalized number we could call to let you know we needed you. Perhaps it would look something like THIS, Mr. Moto! HOYNES: I hear you had Capitals tickets? SAM: Yes. HOYNES: How was the game? SAM: Not very good. HOYNES: Have you ever seen a good hockey game? SAM: No. HOYNES: Me neither. I love sports, I just can’t get next to hockey. I think Americans like to savour situations. “One down, bottom of the ninth, first and third, one run game, left-handed batter, right-handed reliever, infield at double-play depth, here’s the pitch.” Scoring in hockey seems to come out of nowhere, the play-by-play guy’s always shocked. “LePettier passes to Huckenshuck, who skates past the blue line. Huckenshuck was traded from Winnipeg for a case of LaBast after sitting out last season with a- Oh my God! He scores!” ED: Grant only voted once in his life and it was for the other guys. CJ: Y’know, Grant works as an example in almost every situation and that’s Grant’s legacy. TOBY: That and he won the Civil War. SAM: Is this serious I mean are you-…Are you talking about names? JOSH: Fitzwallace, Leo, and Ulyses S. Grant. POTUS: Yep, it was the rebate. CHARLIE: It wasn’t a rebate, it was an advance. POTUS: Well, you say potato. CHARLIE: I do say potato, and so does everybody else I know. POTUS: When you taught Beowulf did you make the kids read it in the original Middle English or did you use a translation? MRS. MORELLO: We used a translation, Mr. President. POTUS: Okay, we’ll call that the James Bond version. MRS. MORELLO: Yes, sir. POTUS: What are you planning on doing with your retirement? MRS. MORELLO: My husband and I were going to do some traveling… POTUS: That’s great. I’d stay away from Elk Horn, Idaho, area for a little while… CJ: You haven’t had a drink since you were 22? HOYNES: That’s right. CJ: Ulyses Grant woulda slapped your face. HOYNES: He did once. |