ISAAC AND ISHMAEL JOSH: What’s your name? BILLY: Billy Fernandez. JOSH: Okay. I’m gonna call you Fred. A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing. And yes, I suppose, Constitutionally, Congress is the strongest branch, but we get a motorcade so back off. JOSH: You’re off to college. I’m the guy who knows what you need to know. Sophomore year, my roommates and I got a fish registered for 18 credits and she made Deans’ List. JOSH: You just called me ridiculous twice in one sentence. DONNA: Hardly a record for me. JOSH: And you go on my list. DONNA: Nothing happens on the list. JOSH: It’s a very good list. Now, she has a point, be it college-girlish. DONNA: Watch him put me down and make my point at the exact same time. JOSH: Hardly a record for me. JOSH: Among my favourites is, there is only one cheer at a soccer match. “Allah oo akbahr.” “God is great.” Your guys are getting’ creamed, then you’re on your own. TOBY: Kill ‘em all. KID: All the Islamic extremists? TOBY: No, I mean everyone. You’re all bothering me, I want to be left alone, clearly the only way that’s going to happen is to BE alone, so that means I’m sorry but I’m gonna have to let you all go. ‘Cept the Yankees and the Knicks. The Yankees and the Knicks are gonna need someone to play so keep the Red Sox and the Lakers. And the Laker Girls. And the Pom. And we’ll need to keep the people who work at the Pom. That’s it, though. The Yankees, the Knicks, Red Sox, Lakers, Laker Girls, anybody who works at the Pom. Sports, Laker Girls, and a well-prepared steak. That’s all I need. And I like to mix it up with Italian…and Chinese…All right, you can all stay but don’t bug me. You’re on probation. Don’t forget I was this close to banishing you. SAM: Ah. Temptation. I have named thee and thy name is woman. GIRL: But weren’t we terrorists at the Boston Tea Party? SAM: Nobody got hurt at the Boston Tea Party. Only people who got hurt were the fancy boys who didn’t have anything to wash down their crumpets with. Jumped out from behind bushes while the British came down the road in their bright red jackets but never has a war been so courteously declared with parchment and calligraphy and “Your highness, we beseech you on this day in Philladelphia to bite me if you please.” CJ: This song is called “CIA our Malligned Little Brother.” TOBY: Y’know what Benjamin Franklin said? CJ: Hey said “Hey, look, I’ve invented the stove.” POTUS: So we’re stuck here, huh? KIDS: Yes, sir. POTUS: Well, I live here. |