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"If god were a deciever, we could doubt what we seem to see. But since god is no deciever, there seems to be a book on the table."

"Together, in our spinsterhood, we shall show the world how pissed we are."

"If you even think about making fun of me eating a donut with grape soda I'll beat the fucking daylights out of you."

"It's because i'm a magic weilding, ex-noble, lesbian pirate."

"Mm... Bon Jovi's penis."

"I wasn't really paying attention because Eric was busy pushing my orgasm button."

"I want to shove that book up the author's ass."

"What the hell is this?"
"Some sort of cop-like thing."
 Emi, Liz

"I'm going to get karmic retribution for that, but damn it felt good."

"And Conor wouldn't be condom scented because if anyone saw him naked they'd regurgitate their heart in a matter of seconds."

"I will beat you with a gay monkey."

"It's like a randomly orgasming ball."

"It looks like a big fart, kinda."

"You can't write better than I can't write."

"I've taken the SATs today, I feel intelligent."

"I've never had a hard-on..."

"When I dance I look like a leprechaun."

"Conor has an estrogen problem, it's not his fault."

"He's so boring; all he does is sit around and be high."

"Bladel Bladel Bladel,
  his brain is made of clay.
  Bladel Bladel Bladel,
  games with his mind I will play."
--Sung to the tune of the dreidel song.

"My mother's on crack."

"That was before I discovered the wonderful world of yaoi. It's kind of like the wonderful world of Lisa Frank only better. ... Well... They're both full of rainbows!"

"I'd have fun with this if I didn't hate it so much."

"Yes, we all know how much Tyler loves talking to stangers and taking drugs..."

"I might not act like it, but I do have morals."

"Kelly and I don't make three. If Kelly got pregnant it would make three. ... But I don't want to get Kelly pregnant."

"Yes Liz, I just enjoyed touching his ass so much."
Apparently she enjoyed it enough to start going OUT with him... ::hides::

"The two grops had entirely different views..."
"But they both knew that they desperately wanted each other."
"Eeew."
  Liz, Emi
Eeewww....

"I can't shut up if my mouth isn't filled."

"I have to eat my eye candy."

"I can never eat zucchini again; I have enough problems with cucumbers."

"Being self-depreciatve is stupid."
"That means Tyler is one of the biggest dumbasses of the world, huh?"
  Liz, Emi

"He, he knows me better, I'm easier to hate."

"I can lie. I can cheat. I can sleep with people-- I can be in the government."

"No one likes Timmy."
"Timmy likes Timmy."
"Timmy's hand likes Timmy."
  Emi, Liz

"Ignore me I'm tired."
"No, my keyboard."
  Liz, Emi

"Good hot sex is good hot sex."

"It's very hard to take notes on eroticism when you're listening to Irish music."

"If I can't make it as a hooker I'll be a high school guidance counselor."

"I could have an orgasm eating this candy."

"On Monday after play practice I'm going to handcuff him to the wall."
"Kinky."
"Goddessdammit!... Eehew... ::cries::... He doesn't like bondage anyway."
  Emi, Liz

"Does this mean I have to ba all buddy-buddy with Conor on the trip?"
"I didn't say you have to sleep with him."
   Emi, Liz

"Oo, pretzels."
"You don't want pretzels."
"No, I don't want pretzels. I want dick."
  Emi, Liz

"He needs a brain and a half and a creativity potion."

"NNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMMM!"

"You're not a dragon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"You're half a dragon!"

"You're a HUMAN."

"You exist."

"Ben has a chew toy."

"Just because I said it doesn't mean you have to agree with me!"

"Black lite effective PINK!! Bright. It's Conor's favorite color. Actually, it's prolly white."

"Are you peeing on me?!"

"LIIIIIIIIIIII-IIIIIIIIIIIIZ! Liz no hentai!"

"I'll get you my pretty, and your little dick, too!"

"Stop playing with my deely bobs!"

"My computer says 'fuck'!"

"I SWEAR that guy is sick."

"Is that monkey masturbating again?!"

"I'm sure of but one thing in this world. That is that I am not of a sound mind."

"Sehen wir uns auf der Jugend im eine Kilt an."
And you don't get the damn translation unless you ask [... Emi. Because I don't remember what it is. >.<]!

"Even I wouldn't be surprised if I found out I was on crack."

"I swear that little boy was hard."
It's not as bad as it might sound, I SWEAR. I just now, almost two years after the fact realized how bad this sounded. ::sighs::

"I swear. Period."

"In German I think in English, and in English I think in German, and it bugs that crap out of me."

"Why is my ass wet? Why, is my ass wet? ... My ass is not wet, my ass is not wet, it is not wet, it is just cold."

"I can never eat carrots again."

"I take my phone apart because I can."

"Ithinkthathethinksthatyouthinkthathe'sstalkingyou."
"I think you're delusional."
"And I think you're self-depreciative."
  Emi, Liz

"When life gives you lemons, make a fic."

"First you fall, then you feel, then you give a fuck."

"I have a booger and I don't know where it went!"

"Lawnmower, lawnmower, lawnmower... Lawnmower Man."

"The more I think about it, the more I wish I'd been there when that kid flipped the ladder and it smacked him* between the legs."
*not the kid. ... ... I'm censoring the name just for the sake of not wanting to die. Not that you can't figure it out.

"My nose is running. I don't know why it's running, I haven't read lemon today."

"Spit bubbles are bad."

"Derner, derner-- Dude looks like a la-day... derner, derner-- Conor looks like a la-day..."

"I try to contain my funny noises and I snort."

"My mind is still sick and it'll never get better, only worse."

"Ah haf va boushy bawww ih mah mouuff."
[translation: I have a bouncy ball in my mouth]

"Death to he who opposeth, unless his reasoning is good."

"BOING."

"I'm wearing cardboard or something."

"It feels really weird when you start unscrewing the ear piece and it's still against your ear."

"I have another booger. I don't wanna lose this one."

"It's not my fault that I'm an insomniac, it's the people in my head."

"Na-cho na-cho bitch. I want to be, a nacho bitch. ... Can you tell I'm sick?"

"If you hear goblin giggling and a gust of wind, don't expect me back at morning."


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