The camera swings around the sofa and looks into the bloodshot eyes of the man, the returning superstar, "Too Xtreme" Eric Badger. After his disappointing loss to Kerry Collins last week on Antidote, Badger has been on a weekend long bender, and has finally realized that he has an upcoming match this Thursday. A night which has been deemed "Hardcore Hell" by Mz. Danky herself, a series of matches have been put together with the help of her creative consultant, which should pose to be one hell of a bloody, vicious and violent wrestling show. Possibly the most anticipated, yet most gruesome Antidote to schedule yet. Back to Eric sitting on the sofa, he has just realized that he has a match on Hardcore Hell, against former AwF'er and former opposing superstar, Fazz McLovely.***
TXEB - Knoxville, KNOXville, KNOXVILLE! This Thursday, AIW Antidote: Hardcore Hell, Fazz McLovely, and yours truely "Too Xtreme" Eric Badger, will lock up in the centre of the ring, actually, to hell with that idea. We're going to meet head to head in the centre of the ring with some huge ass, pain inflicting, skull crushing, eye popping, Pelvic cracking weapons that are going to rock the AIW world! That's right Fazz, old buddy ole pal. You and "The Xtreme One," a gaurenteed one last time for sure. What's better than you and I meeting in the ring again? Well the fact that we get to use some old AWF Style rules! Hardcore all the way Fazz-baby! So strap on a dilly, because this one's about to get hot!
(a crazy look comes upon the face of Eric as he continues to ramble on)
That's right Fazz, you have no idea how long I've been waiting to get my hands on you, and now, it's time for some retribution for what you did to me. You might not remember, and the memories are a little foggy for me too, but I remember back in the day, the day when Chris was in charge, that you cost my amazing ass the world title, and I never rebounded after that. I've been in such a slump over the past year or two, and it's all because of you Fazzy. That's right, I said Fazzy, not Fozzy, because you aren't a huge rockstar, hell you aren't even a semi-good amateur pornstar, but that's how you got this job didn't you? Getting some extra-curricular activity with Mz. D? Dipping into the creative juices so to speak? Well, that's just fine and dandy with me, but I don't think that it will go over too well with the boss, even though the only thing she's been over the past few weeks is a concrete banana with some vaseline. Alright enough of the sexual inuendos you dumbass, you're going to get yourself fired! No, I'm not, I'm golden, actually, you're right, I better stop, before something bad happens.
The only bad thing that's going to happen though, will happen this coming Thursday, on Antidote: Hardcore Hell. Fazz, you better put on some football gear, and come charging at me with all you've got, because last week against Kerry Collins, that was all a fluke. I've been out for a while, and yet to be 100%, but when you get tackled by that QB Killer*, it's quite the pain on your ass when you think about it. He got lucky, and I ended up with the ass end of the deal, which is what your used to I know Fazz, but when I hike that football on Thursday, you better get a good jump on me, before I rush into the endzone and score the touchdown that will earn me a shot at the AIW World Champion, "The Nitemare" Rob Osbourne. That's right Robbie, I'm gunning for you, like a fox on the run, you'll tuck your tail in that big space in your legs, and run off into the bush, hiding like that punk ass little bitch that you are. Seeing as you have Hardcore Hell off, you should be thinking about my match proposal for Devil's Night, October 31st. Think up any stipulation that you can possibly pull off, because I'm always up for something new, and exciting, but no one has fulfilled my hopes and dreams in wrestling yet.
Fazz, your ass is grass and I'm gonna smoke it come Thursday, but on October 31st, Rob Osbourne, smoking will not be an option with you, because you are going to be just like a side of pork before you head to the butcher. You'll be fattened up, and thinking you have it made, but when you come into the ring and see me, standing there with the proverbial axe, your ass will be tenderized, and shipped off to the waste factory, so they can chop you up and sell you at McDonalds. McOzzy Burger, how does that sound? Do you hear it? That's right, all the fat people in the audience that are seeing this on their televisions are drooling at the sound of it. Now, speaking of "nitemares" It's time to regroup and get some rest before Hardcore Hell, because after that, bigger and better things are among all of us here at AIW.
***Eric turns off his television set as The Simpsons credits roll at the end of the show. At the very end, the man in the movie theatre "shushes" everyone, as the scene fades to black, and Eric makes his way into his chamber for some slumber on this cool September night.***
FTB
