Backstage, stationed in a locker room, "Too Xtreme" Eric Badger is still recovering from the in-flight meal from which he had just completed. He looks more pale than ever, and starts to quiver at the memory of eating it. He much rather would have preferred a homecooked Canadian meal, but on American Airlines, what are you gonna do? He twitches a bit, and then bolts for the toilet, as the sounds of re-gurgitation echo through the room. He returns five minutes later with a roll of paper towel in his hand, as he wipes his mouth clean of the debris.***
"Too Xtreme" Eric Badger - Wow, those in flight meals will be the death of me soon. I have to start driving to these places, then I can eat what I please. In fact, I could go for some burgers right about now, or some nice greasy pizza. Oh well, what can you do. I have a match to prepare for, no wait, TWO matches I have to prepare for. So afraid of Sickboy, I don't think I can continue my wrestling career. HAHA, yeah right, I just hope that he doesn't get a hold of my action figure, because the action he produces with it might be a little graphic for our younger viewers. What will people think of next, I mean seriously? Doll fetishes, the next big hit on the Venus channel. "Have your own personal dolls rape other unsuspecting dolls! Have you ever wanted to see someone screw the ass out of George W. Bush? Then call in right now, and have your very own PARD, Presidential Ass Raping Doll, created! For only 435.99!"
That would be the infomercial headed by the IoA's very own, Sickboy. Celebrity endorsed product my ass. I understand that you wish to promote Rob Osbournes plastic ass into the sky, and assume that I would just do some smooth dickin' to it now wouldn't you? Well that wouldn't be, nor will never be a thing for me to do. Now if it was your little sex slave Emma, that might be another story. Hell, she gives new meaning to the term "loose lips" she could swallow a bowling ball in that thing! Strap on your hip waders, because it looks like things are about to get wet! You claim to have seen more breasts in your time young Sickboy, but to be perfectly honest, I've seen more breast than Bill Clinton saw under his desk during his presidential days!
What's this I heard Sickboy, on Idle Chat, I heard that you had quite the obsession with a vaccum cleaner? You enjoy getting your tootsie-pop sucked all the way to the brown gooey chewy center? Yum, doesn't that make your stomach turn, I'd rather be looking at that airplane food than even consider thinking about that again. God damn man! Never admit something about yourself, because in the end, it will always come back and bite you in the ass. No, I don't know this from expirience, but just from watching what antics you perform, I can assume almost anything that has gone wrong with you, accident boy.
I heard your parents were the headliners for a circus, your mother, being of course the Bearded lady, and your father being elephant man! Wait, was it the other way around? Naw, couldn't have been. Oh well, heres your chance to redeem yourself, it all happens this Sunday, on Heatwave. You and I meet in the center of the ring, wrestling it out for a spot at Seasons Beatings for the IoA International Title. Do you have a chance of beating me? No way buddy, not a chance in hell. I've been through more shit than the farmers cleaning up after your mother in the pasture, theres just a part of me that will always destroy you, come hell or high water, the shit will be kicked out of you, and there is nothing that you can do about it.
As for the rest of my AIW buddies, best of luck to you all, because on Sunday, my mindset is going to be focused on you three, because I want to be on the squad more than any of you ever will. I'm AIW to the bone, and no one can ever prove me any different. I'm there for Danky, I'm there for NRO, that's it. Those are the people I look up to, and those are the people that are going to guide the AIW into the new year, as we go on to Seasons Beatings, and completely takeover the IoA.
***Eric's stomach turns again and he runs into the bathroom, spewing his guts again. The camera fades to black as the bathroom door shuts.***
FTB