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| ***The scene opens at a nearby resort in Chicago, Illinois, where a large barrage of people have crowded in a circle outside. A cameraman runs over towards the large ruckus, and finds out that a man has fallen off of the roof of the building, and has landed on his neck. Paramedics have taken their sweet time to get there, but have arrived on the scene. They tell the innocent bystanders that his fate is still undetermined, due to the seriousness of the injury. They drive off in the ambulance, towards a nearby medical facility. Hours later, the resort resort recieves a telephone call from the hospital, saying that a guardian angel must have planted a few horseshoes up the man's ass, because he was very lucky to survive. Three vertebrae were shattered in his neck, and those vertebrae cut his spinal chord, thus paralyzing him from the waist down, and not being able to ever walk again. You see, there was a hidden message behind this story of luck, and that message, would be the way this man recieved a second chance...a lease on life if you will. Sporting injuries, car accidents, or anything else along that nature, should be taken into deep consideration, about being dangerous, and knowing when to draw the line from being smart, and being stupid. Yes, a second chance, they are provided all over the world at any given time. Take the RWA for instance, providing all wrestlers with a chance to enter a battle royale to be involved in the final four for the RWA World Title. RWA owner Michael Pettis felt as if an injustice had taken place in his life's work. He gave the spot in the tournament to Bobby Quake, which pissed several "renegades" off in the back, creating some massive heat. Two such complainers, "The Answer" Shawn Walsh, and "Too Xtreme" Eric Badger, were the biggest thorns in Pettis' side, which changed his mind to have a special show on Saturday Night. Now, the name of the show is unknown to us in the reporting business, but I have dubbed the show, "Second Chance Saturday." Now, earlier today our cameras caught up with "Too Xtreme" Eric Badger, to try and get some thoughts about what has transpired this past week here in the RWA.*** TXEB - Well, look what we have here. The RWA Reports have found me yet again. I try and hide in the bushes and you fuckers find me, wherever I go, whenever you feel like it, you go out, search high and low for me, but, that's the life of a wrestler, or a renegade for that matter, and its the life I've chosen to live. So what the hell do you want from me now? Reporter - Well, Eric, we just wanted a few comments from you...about Saturday's event. Are you in? TXEB - (laughs) What the hell do you think? Go into the ring, and fight in a battle royale, and try and get my spot back in the World Title Tournament? DUH!! How could I turn that shit down? Now, it's not really "my" spot to begin with, because I was beating by some muscle bound midget with a fetish for stealing other people's moves, but I have a chance to win this battle royale, and move on to face "Unable to Handle" Jay Gamble, the first RWA Universal Champion. That's right, he was the first, the first to win it, and also the first to lose it. You see, Jay Gamble, he is "unable to handle" all the prestige and greatness that a title can posess. He was getting all cocky, all childish, and for what? To have is ass handed to him like handing a banana to a monkey, by a drunk guy for that matter. As far as I see it right now, the winner of this battle royal on Saturday night should be given the bye into the next round, because Jay Gamble will crack under the pressure of getting a chance to win a world title. Reporter - Those are some harsh words for Mr. Gamble, but what about the man he beat...Shawn Walsh? I mean, he's already placed his name into the proverbial hat, what are you going to do about him? TXEB - Shawn Walsh eh? The man that has us all figured out. The guy that thinks he has all the "answers." Well I've got news for that chump, actually it's more of a question. Do you think it's alright if I ask "The Answer" a question? Well, I don't care what you think, but Walsh? Why do you refer to the RWA World Title as yours? I mean, you and I both know that the only reason that Pettis signed this match was to make me happy because that mountain goat molesting Zone Capone pinned me with my own move? He's giving me another shot, because I deserve it. I deserve the RWA World Title. I guess you could say that it's just a matter of time before I lay claim to the throne. Walsh, you can beat up that hilarious little pussy, Twister, all you want, and you can get that bitch of yours going by insulting her, yes you can, but you can't get away from "The Xtreme One." You can try to run, you can try to hide, but you will never break on through to the other side. Why you ask? Because I'll be standing there, waiting to grab your punk ass neck and snap it in half. You might be a double champion now, but Walsh, there is no doubt in my mind that you will never become a triple champion, as long as I'm around, because like the lowly sasquatch, I'm going to be king of the mountain, and shortly in my grasp will be the RWA World Title. Now, I mentionned earlier that Pettis wanted me to win this thing...and in all actuallity, I made that up. You see, he has this disease...a sharp stabbing pain in your lower left torso like an obese gas build up in your bowel, and that guy that causes that grief is Amp. Now Amp, I know that you and Pettis probably go back quite far, talking about all this SFT shit and shit like that, loads of crap that I don't care about, and loads of crap that I couldn't care less about. I know that he convinced you to enter this whole World title thing, because he wants someone that he can trust to win. He would be able to trust me, because more than likely I'd get pissed off and drop his ass, but with you as his lackey, he friend, compadre, ami, etc. he has someone that he can almost count on to come through in the clutch. Quite frankly Amp, to your little speech about "being with you or against you," my choice to go against you, and prove to you, to the guys in the back, and to everyone else, that I'm here to pick up with a is right fully mine, and no, that's not a coast to coast hand job from your bitch Angel Eyes, its the RWA World Title, you dig? Reporter - Well Eric, those are some powerful words, and you seem confident in winning on Saturday Night, any last words before we sign off? TXEB - Actually, yes I do have a few. First off, to Zone Capone. You better keep your head up, because if I win this thing, well actually, when I win this thing, and then when I beat "Unable to Handle Jay" Gamble, it's going to be a re-match between you and I, back from the magnificent eight, that is if you get by Brock Jones. Bust your ass, and get by him, and then you can prepare for the pain that I'm going to bring for you in the finals. Secondly, Shawn Walsh, Universal and Light-heavyweight champion. Hmm, I like the sound of that, because the lighter they are, the faster they get their asses thrown over the top rope, and the faster I can get home, and prepare for Jay Gamble, and prepare for Zone or Brock. Preparation is over-rated though, why prepare for something that you already know is going to happen? I'm no fortune teller, but I can predict the future, and the picture I'm getting is me, standing in the middle of the ring, with the RWA World Title in my grasp, and the millions and millions of American's cheering, thats right, not booing a Canadian, not only a Canadian, but your first ever RWA World Champion, the first ever RWA Candian World Champion. Ooo, I like that sound of that one. Lastly though, to all wrestlers in the battle royale this Saturday Night, be prepared, for what is about to run through you like Bill Clinton running through a stack of Penthouse magazines, its going to be a short, hard, and quick match, because all your asses are flying over top. Reporter - Thank you Mr. Badger, best of luck to you in the Battle Royale. TXEB - Luck, HA! I need no luck. ***The reporting crew gets up and leaves the confines of where "Too Xtreme" Eric Badger was found, as the scene fades to black.*** FTB |