Title: a-normal life

Author: Nancy Espinosa
Rating: PG

Spoilers: Arcadia

Archive: Just let me know to visit.

Disclaimer: Not mine, never will, only in my dreams. They belong to the Genius, Chris Carter, Fox and 1013 Productions and deep inside me I believe Mulder and Scully belong to each other as well to Gillian and David.

Summary. Scully questions herself about her life… and lovelife.

Author's Notes: This story is like a journal entry from Scully’s, please be gentle with it and with me, it’s one of my first attempts to write about our heroes. Someone told me it doesn’t sound as Scully, but have we really heard Scully’s deepest thoughts and feelings as she opens up?

E-mail: nancye_2000@yahoo.com

a-normal life, by Nancy Espinosa

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have to admit it. I really liked that husband and wife game.

Mulder was right, I wanted to play house.

Just the idea of a normal life is appealing,

and even more with Mulder as husband.

No Flukeman, no liver-eating monsters, no vampires,

no UFO’s sightings, no conspiracies, no abductions,

just Mulder and me

with common duties and problems as normal people.

How many times have I wondered

how will it be like to have again a normal life?

Enough times.

But at this point I don’t think I could turn back the pages of the book

that my life is, I don’t want to.

A lot of things had happened

since Fox Mulder and me became partners.

I don’t know what to believe or not anymore,

my religion was my touchstone

but after all the things I’ve seen…

all the things I’ve lived…

all the things that’ve happen to me and Mulder,

I just dont know.

But the most important of all

I have the most incredible relationship of my entire life.

I don’t know how to call this relationship:

first we became partners

and almost immediately we became friends,

I don’t know how it happened or why

but I trusted him with my life since the first day,

even though he trusted me a little later,

but I understand that and it doesn’t bother me.

No, I don’t know what we are anymore

besides partners and friends.

I know we love each other,

but there are so many things

that stop us to speak freely of our feelings.

He knows I love him

as I know he loves me back,

there’s no doubt about that.

We show each other our love everyday,

since the more insignificant action or detail

till when we risk our lives to save each other.

Now that I think about it,

we can’t live a normal life.

We can’t dream about having a house,

a car, children and a dog.

No, we can’t and you know why?,

because we’re not normal,

because our relationship is not normal.

It’s something behind words,

it’s love between two souls

that become one heart.

It’s a love without time and place,

a love without conditions,

a love that was written somewhere,

even before we were born.

I don’t know if it’s fate or what,

like I said I don’t know what to believe anymore.

The only thing I believe in,

is in Mulder and me.

That house, that car, those children and that dog,

are not for us and I accept it

because Mulder fills my life one hundred percent

and he’s the only one I want, the only one I need,

the one I love

and as long as I have him with me,

nothing else matters.

He loves me.

How many women can say that of their men

and be totally sure of it?

I’m so lucky,

I’m loved by the most wonderful man in the entire universe,

the most beautiful, the most intelligent,

the most caring, the most passionate.

God, I wonder how could it be like

to be touched by him,

to be kissed by him,

if he is so passional with our work,

with our quest,

how would he be with the woman he loves,

the woman he wants and needs.

Maybe it sounds arrogant,

but I am that woman and I’m proud to be,

I’m proud to be Mrs. Spooky,

I love to be his, be his entire life,

be the air he breaths, I know I am.

No, we can’t be normal

and everybody who know him and know me,

know we are not like everyone else,

we’re not.

He used to live alone in a bubble

and he only opened its door once to let me in

and without hesitation I joined him.

I have no regrets.

Now we’re two living in a bubble

and I’m the most happy woman.

Yes I am.

Thank you God,

thank you fate,

thank you whoever who wrote this love in the skies,

thank you for giving me this man,

my man, Fox William Mulder,

the most uncommon man on the earth

and the most normal man in my life and in my heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok, send me your comments: nancye_2000@yahoo.com

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~