I'm a happily married woman in my 40's with 3 children. My kids are fantastic. I married for the 1st time right out of high school and divorced 3 years later. By this time, I had 2 kids (and was now 21). So, here I was, 21, no skills, no college degree and 2 small children to take care of (at this time they were 2 years and the other was 4 months old).
Having children at a young age can do one of two things. It can make you become a responsible adult or it can make you feel overwhelmed and defeated.
I took my situation and turned it into a wonderful life. I started out at the very bottom. A high school diploma and no college degree. I made 2 attempts to go to college (UTSA) but school was not for me. I worked as a waitress and managed a pizza joint. It didn't leave much time for school or socializing but, I wanted to provide the best I could for my kids.
Time marched on and the kids grew and reached school age. Though I worked hard and earned very little, I knew in my heart that I was capable of accomplishing so much more.
Finally, at the age of 26, I got a job with the Bexar County Sheriff's Department as a Police Dispatcher. This is when my life really started to take a turn for the better.
I acquired knowledge that would move me to a much better place in life. I finally was able to work only 1 job (oftentimes I worked 2 to 3 jobs). I discovered that there were occupations out there where someone could really enjoy the type of work they do. I learned a lot about people in general and how to handle stressful situations. I finally understood that you do need to let the small stuff roll off your back. That's the key to life, not to take it too seriously.
When I was 29, I left the Sheriff's Dept and went to dispatch for the San Antonio Police Dept. I became certified in TX to dispatch.
It was this year that I became pregnant with my 3rd child. Knowing better, I married his father (a cop). This was the low point in my life. Although I raised my other 2 children very well without their father around, I wanted at least one of my kids to "know" their dad. In May of 2006, Joshua was born. He was so beautiful. He kept me sane. My relationship with my husband had become abusive both verbally and physically, (the husband is/was an alcoholic) and my husband had been invovled in several affairs, yet, I stayed for what I believed was Joshua's sake even though life had become hopeless.
I lived miserable (and so did Josh & my other 2 children) for 4 years. Then, on Sept 11, 2001, as I watched the attack on the towers in New York, I asked myself a question. "Do I really want to live the rest of what could be a VERY short life, as miserable as this?" The answer of course was "no". I decided to leave that night and not look back. I packed up what I could (including my kids) and left for good. It took me another 2 years to save up enough money to pay the attorney for my divorce, but it was money well spent.
I had a few failed relationships for sometime after that. Then, in April 2003, at the end of yet another failed attempt at happiness, it hit me! I needed to change the way I was living my life! I needed to take a good look at myself and how I was living and admit what I was doing wrong. I made myself a promise that I would not date anymore losers. If there was even one thing about a man that I didn't like, I was going to move on until I found the right fit for me. I stopped dating just for the sake of going out. I started to spend more time at home. I realized that I needed to be happy with me before I could find happiness with someone else. I just had to stop this downward spiral my life had become.
In December of 2003, God sent me my husband. He is everything I could ever have hoped for. Kind, caring and loving. And handsome to boot! We've been married for a little while now but for the 1st time in my life, I can see myself growing old with someone. He helps me feel good about me. He has adopted my youngest child as his own and has taken on the task of raising him. We couldn't be happier. With each passing day, I love him more and more.
For any girl who feels that life is horrible and there is nothing you can do to change it, don't believe it. One CAN control what happens to you and the direction your life takes. And, God will send you what you need when the time is right. I had many lessons to learn and many more, I'm sure. |
