CHEERLEADER CAMP
It's got everything. EVERYTHING.
I don't think this movie disappointed on any level. It's really got everything you'd expect from a cheesy 80?s slasher movie set a cheerleader camp.
Foxy women everywhere? You betcha. One of them is even played by Lucinda Dickey, who you might remember as the ninja-possessed aerobics instructor in Ninja III: The Domination. Curiously, while Dickey is the only chick who doesn't play a cheerleader (she plays the very slightly tomboyish mascot), she does the cheerleader choreography.
Dream sequences that don't fool anybody? Oh yes. Featuring pompoms that slash, and when the dreamer is abandoned by her parents in one dream, she cries out "I need love!"
Gratuitous gore? More than expected! Spilled guts n' everything. Watch closely for writhing worms on the end of one implement that sticks out of a young lassie's mouth.
A fat guy? Yup. Is he a prankster? Hell yeah. Does he have a beer hat? Need you ask?
An unseen killer whose identity we can guess almost immediately? Natch.
Really bad alternate title? Bloody Pompoms.
Two extremely white guys doing a rap? Lemme put it this way - it's worse than every bad thing that's ever happened to you combined. And I'm factoring in the possibility that some of you may have had your legs chewed off by rats.
The required ditzy blonde? "There's no way we can win this contest," laments one of the guys. Undaunted, the blonde says "Wait, guys! I remember, I read this story once, about this choo-choo train..."
Once-aspiring model/actress turned porn star? Teri Weigel.
An appearance by an impossibly awful 80's rock band that thankfully never hit it big? You know they suck just by the name: Sounds of Suksexx.
Tits everywhere? Well, not as much as I would have liked. Guess it can't be perfect.
Yes folks, Cheerleader Camp delivers upon its modest aspirations and managed to be somehow even more goofy fun than Slaughterhouse was. There was even a couple of things I didn't expect - like the fact that after the first two times a body is discovered (and everybody knows about it), camp just keeps right on running. And that two of the cast members are dead ringers for friends of mine. (okay, you don't care about that)
I'm more of a "Catholic schoolgirl" kind of guy than a "cheerleader" kind of guy, but this one won me over anyway. Recommended to fans of slasher cheese, and of course you weirdos who routinely haunt the web for cheerleader pics.
You know, I have to wonder how many of the User Comments at the IMDb are written by normal people who are merely pretending to be idiots. If you're curious about what I mean, check it out. I mean, can this shit be for real?