THE DEADLY INTRUDER
A hunka hunka burnin' crap
Just saw this lame-o slasher flick last night, which I rented because I was eager to see Danny Bonaduce knocked off. Lemme give you an idea of how poorly made and dumb this is. The dumb part is shown plainly when our heroine is kidnapped by a clearly crazy man. She's tied up and he falls asleep in a chair next to her. The guy did such a poor job of tying her up that she literally unties herself, and when she leaves his shack, she actually makes a point of closing this big, squeaky door behind her! No, she makes no attempt to block it off or lock it. She just wants to make a little noise as she takes off.
The poorly-made part is made apparent during the unbelievably gratuitous "bathtub" scene, where our heroine strips down and takes a bath. See, we see her from the neck down, washing herself in the tub, and IN THE NEXT SHOT we actually see her from the neck up, seen from very close to the same camera angle. The same angle! This happens three or four times in a row. I guess that legendary actress, Molly Cheeks (I swear to God, I'm not making that up) was modest. There's not even any blood to speak of. Pretty lame, Milhouse.
The near-complete lack of gore (or, for that matter, swearing) suggests to me that the bathtub scene was inserted for no reason other than to get that R. Snore.
Two things keep me from tossing this into the Complete And Utter Crap bin. One is an interesting twist with about twenty minutes to go in the film. Yes, it's a stupid slasher flick, but I have to admit to being intrigued by the notion that the crazy guy that kidnapped our heroine isn't really dangerous at all (despite tying her up, chasing her down every time she tried to get away, etc), and probably isn't the guy responsible for all the murders. The second is the heroine's screaming. That girl's got some pipes on her! That is, if she didn't have a double for that, too.
Overall, suckage abounds in this one, and don't say I didn't warn you. Oh yeah, I know what you're wondering. Does Bonaduce get it, and get it good? Midget-tossed into a TV set. 'zat sound good to you?