DEADMATE
Oh, how I yearn now for some booze...
Hope you like embalming and necrophilia footage. ("It's safe sex now, because we can't get AIDS from dead people.") (sweartogod, I didn't make that line up)
The intro to this movie, fiction as it is, lends further creedence to my belief that women in general have it really, really easy when it comes to finding a mate - a rich stranger comes in off the street and proposes to a waitress at a greasy spoon. He takes her home - funeral home! Yes, he's a funeral home director and he introduces her to his staff ("He's quite a ladykiller, you know" advises one elderly lady), gets all sorts of derision from some strange people outside, carries her up the stairs. In the conjugal bed, he says "I want your body!" She later comments that she's "used to working the graveyard shift". What, did the Cryptkeeper write this movie? You can figure out the rest from the title.
The tag line for this movie is "Don't kiss me, I'm not dead...yet." This should tell you just about everything you need to know. This features the most spectacularly uninspiring funeral service I've ever seen; which I suppose is appropriate, since there's not much sense of finality in a funeral where you just intend to keep shacking up with the corpse anyway. And there's a motorcycle-riding re-animated corpse whose skin flies right off from the sheer speed of his driving.
Also known as Graverobbers, by the time this movie was over, I couldn't even tell if it was supposed to be serious or comical, and I found myself wishing for a few shots of Captain Morgan to make the distinction go away. Written and directed by a guy named Straw. Would you do that to your kid, doom him to a lifetime of bad jokes about his name like that? (well, maybe YOU would, Gore Met, your kids are probably named Bapho and Well and New York, you big meanie)
The closing credits promise a sequel called Morley's Revenge, despite nobody in this movie being named Morley. To the best of my knowledge - and I haven't looked particularly hard - it didn't happen.
For necrophiliacs only - but hey, I know you're out there.