DOLLMAN VS. THE DEMONIC TOYS
Yes, the world DOES need more "vs." movies
Never one to back off from a movie with a "vs." in the title, I checked this puppy out as soon as I found out that the video store still had it (stashed away in the SF section). Dammit - where's my Bryan Adams vs. Ebola movie?
'course, one other thing makes this pretty much alt.horror required viewing - it's written by our esteemed Craig Hamann! (take a bow, Craig, don?t be shy)
Now, I didn't really think much of The Demonic Toys, but I thought Dollman was a lot of fun. It pitted a twelve-inch man against a floating head - fuck, I'm there! Could the followup possibly live up to this lofty standard?
Tim Thomerson reprises his role as Dollman, as hard-boiled as yesterday's breakfast and taking up only a shade more space. He might be a stiff twelve-incher, but not the kind most women are looking for, so he's looking for action more his own size. He finds it in the form of a miniaturized chick survivor (Melissa Behr, foxy and blessedly almost bursting from a makeshift bikini) from Bad Channels, which I haven't seen. Also returning is Tracey Scoggins (one-time perennial straight-to-video sexpot, eventually turned whiner about how there's too much sex on TV) as the cop who did battle with the Demonic Toys, and needless to say, the Toys are back too. The little robot guy, the foul-mouthed baby, the cackling, slug-like Jack-In-The-Box, and a toy soldier that bears a striking resemblance to Lance Henriksen. As for plot, well, the title says it all.
This is probably the shortest Full Moon movie I've ever seen, some 65 minutes, and that's INCLUDING the flashbacks from the movies that set it up. Not exactly an ambitious production, this one's content to pretty much just take the ingredients and toss them into the bowl.
As you might imagine, this is Thomerson's show all the way. It's a deadpan comic performance that is nevertheless delivered way beyond deadpan - he's playing it straight! Note his voice-overed comment on the doomed romance between him and a chick 90 times his size: "I had a thing for Maria, but it wasn't in the cards. Besides, I was runnin' low on ammo." Just think about that one for a second - running low on ammo affects him a little more than the rest of us, since he can't exactly pop into the nearest hardware store to pick up body-exploding bullets for a three-centimeter handgun. He's just not even kidding! And that's why he's such a hoot.
The sets are enjoyable, as they always are for this kind of movie, and the actors are all likeable. Could've used less of the Toys and more of Dollman, though - pretty much what I figured I'd think going in.
I don't really know if I'd go so far as to recommend this - this is a movie tailored for a very, very narrow audience. If you happen to fall into that audience, then hell yeah, go see. Where else are you gonna see Tim Thomerson get bitch-slapped by a big baby?