THE GRANNY
Absolutely, gut-bustingly hilarious
This movie was tucked away in a lost, rarely seen corner of the video store's new release section (damn film's from 1995!), so it's only because of a friend's insistence (he hadn't seen it either - he just wanted to know how it is) that I hunted this one down. And boy, am I glad I did.
I have not seen a horror movie this funny since Bride of Chucky - now, take that as you will, but damn, this is one funny movie.
Stella Stevens plays the titular grandmother, the holder of a $170M fortune with a family of greedy bastards who just can't wait to see her keel. The only one of them loyal to her is her granddaughter, Kelly, and possibly another granddaughter, little Amy (who, at the tender age of six or so, is probably too young to be as conniving as the rest). Stevens is hysterical in this movie, for the most part - cranky and vulgar as hell. (her best moment is when she stands up at the dinner table, thrusts her finger out accusationally at one son, and declares "You're the load I should have swallowed!") (trivia bit: she does some vocals on the Alice Cooper tribute album Humanary Stew, in the song "School's Out")
And for some reason, she sees fit to invite the whole shitty family over for Thanksgiving. They don't like her, and she doesn't like them. In fact, they've poisoned her soup. But a little kink is thrown in everyone's plans when she receives an elixir of eternal life just before dinner - thing is, this elixir should never be exposed to sunlight, or ghastly things happen. Well, guess what.
The performances by everybody in the film are wonderful. The conniving family is a great ensemble job by a bunch of people I've never seen before - they're great at the boo-hiss thing, and each in their different ways (like the sexpot granddaughter who tries to seduce her uncle, or the daughter- in-law who can't wait to get her hands on Granny's furs). Shannon Whirry (who looks and sounds just like Neve Campbell in this one, but is a better actress and we actually get to see her topless) is very good as Kelly, and there's this guy playing Junior, the grandson, who looks and sounds just like Johnny Galecki (who you might remember as the much-pierced gay kid in The Opposite of Sex).
There's quite a bit of gore, but it's all pretty goofy- looking and somewhat orange. Hope you like facial mutilation - there're three of 'em here. (well, one's more of a neck thing)
The Granny isn't as good in its second half, where it bogs itself down with too many Freddy Kruegerisms, but it's still got a lot of gems of hilarity throughout (like when a severed head tries directing its body to attack: "Okay. Left, right, left...no, left, left! I hate being headless!")
A definite must-see. You've gotta love a movie which gives us Shannon Whirry (on the basis of this film, I'd walk across a mile of broken glass just to smell her breath - yes, she's that hot) and tries to pass her off as the homely girl that we'll probably never marry away.