THE HAUNTING OF SEACLIFF INN
Rarely has a title given away so much

  For the longest time I thought this was called The Haunting Of Seacliff Ann.  But who the hell would name their kid Seacliff Ann?

I kind of held off renting this for quite some time because, well, it looks pretty weak.  It's one of those "The Haunting Of..." movies, the name "Seacliff" implies that it takes place at a beach house (and thus that the tenants' marriage is troubled), it's in the safe-as-milk Drama section instead of the blood-and-tits horror section...I could go on.  I wasn't exactly blown away, but at least the "troubled marriage" thing didn't happen...at least not at first.

A yuppie couple (Ally Sheedy and William R. Moses) moves out to the west coast in search of a big fancy place to sink their life's savings into.  Their intention: to turn it into a bed-n-breakfast, which is what yuppies do.  (great little bit of dialogue from the movie, that for once, is enhanced by me predicting it with word-for-word accuracy: "I suppose you plan to turn it into a bed and breakfast."  "How did you know?" "Because that's what yuppies do.")  They find the place, but it's occupied.  No matter; the owner conveniently keels, putting the house on the market, and next thing you know, our yuppie couple is proudly owning a very haunted bed-n-breakfast.

One of their neighbors is Louise Fletcher, who knows more than she's telling, because she's Louise Fletcher and what the hell else would she be doing here?  One of their first guests is foxy Lucinda Weist, who...guess what?  TROUBLED MARRIAGE!

Does falling down and cracking your head really count as "a violent death"?

I dunno, it's just kinda what you'd expect, feeling like it's made for TV.  It's not aggressively, specifically bad, but it's the kind of movie that your naïve grandmother points out to and says "Oh, did you say you liked horror movies?" (okay, now naïve is YOUR grandmother?)

Directed by Walter Klenhard, who also gave us the timeless classic Baby Monitor: Sound Of Fear.

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