THE LOST WORLD: JURASSIC PARK
The wrong kid was mauled
After a four-year absence, Steven Spielberg returns, with a cinematic mean streak a mile wide, for some reason. He must've been pissed off at something, or somebody (possibly a red-haired woman). The pervasive nastiness in this movie surprised the hell out of me when I saw it; and it's nasty in more ways than just being sadistic. What can I say? I was tickled pink.
I've always been under the impression that this movie was critically blasted across the map when it came out. (I was surprised that the line "Hang on, this is going to be bad" was never used against the film, 1997 being a year when lots of movies were having their lines turned against them like that) After a little research, I've been surprised by the number of positive reviews for it I've found. It's also seemed to have grown on people in a way that much-hated summer blockbusters from other years have failed to do. I won't gush about this movie, but I will say that I like it on about a par with the original Jurassic Park, which is quite a bit.
Very loosely based on the surprisingly enjoyable pounded-out-overnight Michael Crichton sequel (which just kinda overlooked the fact that the lead character in the sequel was left behind on the island to be napalmed at the end of the first book, and glossed over it with something along the lines of "well, I never specifically said he died"), The Lost World brings back Dr. Ian Malcolm, chaos-theory-expounding mathematician extraordinaire. His favorite senile billionaire (Richard Attenborough) has summoned him to go have a look at Site B and drum up some public sympathy for it before corporate interests ransack the place. But what the hell is Site B?
Site B is the island where they grew all the dinosaurs for Jurassic Park, and once they got old and stable enough for shipping, moved 'em on over to the Jurassic Park island. (so much for "I insist on being present for all the births", huh?) Anyway, a hurricane (yeah, another hurricane) has blown down all the fences there too, and all the species have busted out and are living happily in a self-contained ecosystem from which of course they cannot escape, unless they can fly (like those Pteranodons you see at the end who aren't bothering to escape).
Now, the plot of this movie is nonsense. We're supposed to buy the notion of a kid stowing away on a very small boat for probably a couple of days, and nobody noticing. Later, we're shown an escape from a dangling trailer which is completely absurd, just after seeing one of its stars dangling from a rope that isn't actually attached to anything at the time. One guy cries out "Don't go into the long grass!" just as he goes into the long grass. A cargo ship with no crew somehow manages to steer itself straight into the exact dock it's meant to go to. This crew somehow died despite the dinosaur responsible for their demise being trapped belowdecks. This same dinosaur which could not possibly have fit its head into the pilothouse managed to eat an entire man except his left hand - for the left hand is all we find. Maybe it just fell off, and the rest of him ran away.
I mean, my God, people, this is one stupid plot, with more holes than James Caan in The Godfather. But let's move on from the plot. Screenwriter David Koepp apparently did after about two minutes. (the dialogue is sometimes grammatically messed-up as well - note the exchange "There's no reason for it to fear man." "Now he does.")
The characters are a mixed bag, and we're bound to come across a few good ones since there are so many of them. Goldblum is still very funny in his role, getting in a number of good lines and delivering them in ways one might not have expected. Take the scene late in the movie where he's asked to slow down the car while a T-Rex is chasing it - his answer is "Uh, I don't think so," accent on the "I". Every other actor in Hollywood would have Will Smithed it and put the accent on the "think".
Vince Vaughan is occasionally amusing as an Earth First tree-spiker, although I'm a little disappointed that the fact that he costs two people their lives with his enviro-pranks (that is, sabotaging a weapon) is not addressed. Other than that, there's only Pete Postlethwaite as the "great white hunter" who's leading the expedition to capture dinosaurs in exchange for the privilege of hunting the male T-Rex (which is weird, since Jurassic Park established that the females are bigger and meaner). When the movie came out, there was much speculation that this character was supposed to be gay, and lovers with his hunting partner Arji. (this was reportedly more apparent in the comic book adaptation) I really don't see it, and I'm the guy who says that BlackJack is the first gay action hero.
Some of the characters, however, are just plain bad. Sure, some are just annoying - most notably, Vanessa Lee Chester as Malcolm's daughter (presumably adopted, or possibly a stepchild, because if this girl's half white, I've got to see her mom). Obviously here only to appeal to demographics (both of age and race), she adds nothing at all to the story, and her inclusion in it is completely absurd. I could forgive that if I could put up with her, but man, I can't! Combine every annoying trait of both kids in the first movie (who show up early in the film by the way), and multiply them by about ten, and you've got this kid. I said before that the only thing worse than a genius kid coming to the rescue was a computer genius kid coming to the rescue. At the time, I hadn't factored in the notion of the gymnast kid coming to the rescue. Man, I just HATE that kid - she's the biggest whiner kid I've seen in the movies in years. But there are even worse characters here.
I have to admit to not being much surprised when my date cried out "YES!" when a velociraptor pounced on Julianne Moore's character, Dr. Sarah Harding. This woman (Dr. Harding, not my date) is SO SO SO stupid, it's really quite amazing. She might not be the stupidest movie character ever, but she's got to be the stupidest fictional PhD holder ever. Here's a short list of stupid things: she knows that the T-Rex has an enormously developed sense of smell, but walks around for half the movie covered in the blood of its baby. She eats in a tent, taking the blood-soaked backpack in there with her. She yammers about how much she wants to observe the stegosaurus family without interfering, and then proceeds to go up and pet the baby. And if you're ever climbing a rope with this lady, by all means, go above her.
It's in this character that we first get a glimpse into the more sophisticated side of this movie's nasty streak. This character isn't just stupid - she's played out as somebody who does nothing but bring terror, pain and death to those around her. She's like the Typhoid Mary of dinosaur country - it doesn't matter if she means well, she'll still kill you. I imagine that Spielberg (or Koepp) just went through a really unpleasant ordeal with a lady in his life.
Another character evidences this kind of meanness as well - Thomas F. Duffy as Burke, the evil corporation's dino-advisor. One look at the guy makes it fairly obvious that he's based on somewhat controversial paleontologist Robert Bakker (I say somewhat controversial because my brother, who studies geology, says that everybody he knows thinks he's a nut, or an idiot, possibly both). Rumor has it that both this character's ridiculously undignified demise ("A snake! A snake!" CHOMP!!!) and his propounding of "false" T-Rex parenting skills (which the movie "proves" wrong) was meant as a flip-off to Bakker, who (again, rumor has it) bragged of input and contributions to Jurassic Park that he never made.
Of course, what's most frequently objected to is the film's violence, and make no mistake, this is one violent movie. Two T-Rexes, in a charming homage to Lady And The Tramp, each grab an end of one guy and dine on him accordingly. One guy is chomped to death by chicken-size dinosaurs. Another is mortally wounded and just looked over for the baby T-Rex to munch on. Another is stepped on, and sticks to the dino's foot for two more steps before coming off. (I imagine the dino a few minutes later, sniffing the air and musing "Did I step on something?") For the first time in known history in this kind of movie, the dog actually gets killed. Not to mention, of course, the dino-chewed little girl in the film's intro. I get a strong feeling that had this come from anybody other than Spielberg and Universal, it would've easily got an R rating.
I dunno, guys - The Lost World is dumber than the original, but gives you more to think about and read into. It has more lame characters, but more plot, nonsense as it is; more variables tossed into the mix with more conflict in more directions. And it's got about the same success factor regarding the jokes and the cuteness. But, bottom line, there are way more dinosaurs here, and thus way more dinosaur action.
Jurassic Park had some dinos that looked a little more hokey than others - The Lost World is pretty much spectacular all around. The CGI stuff is almost uniformly better than the animatronic stuff (in particular, the little chomping dinos), for once. You know how you've often heard that CGI creatures look better wet, which is why it's always raining in these movies? There's a dinosaur stampede in this movie that takes place in the sunny daylight, and it's every bit as magnificently done as any other dinosaur effect you might care to point out.
The dinos are great, and the dino action is great - even though one raptor is done in by a little kid (grr). Those two T-Rexes get more screen time here, Spielberg obviously well aware of the big guy's star potential. (they should have a T-Rex present at the Oscars or something) (well, they had Beavis & Butt-head do it a couple of years ago!)
There are some really tense moments here (the best being when a door in the trailer is opened and two people have to step out right in full biting range of a T-Rex that's looking right at them and is very unhappy), and at least one guaranteed jump-out-of-your-pants scare. The best thrill though, for me, involves slowly breaking glass. Splendidly done. If I'd known as much then about the character whose life was in danger as I did later, I don't think I would have cared in the least.
Some close looks at the film suggest that there should probably be MORE dino action - some scenes look unfinished. There are TWO points in the film where a character has to tell us that the principal dinosaurs in the scene have left or are leaving - we are not shown their departure. And, most obviously, there's the scene where the two T-Rexes try pushing the trailer off the edge of a cliff - we never get to see the T-Rexes, although we see lots of external shots of the trailer. It's as if the film was rushed into release before those scenes could be completed.
John Williams' score is almost unnoticeable, with way too many "jungle drums" and not enough of anything else. But I do have to give credit for the climax taking place in San Diego - the producers must have pushed and pushed to find a way to make it take place in L.A. or New York or Chicago, where EVERYTHING takes place. It?s nice to see Hollywood acknowledge that there are other cities out there.
Last year's broadcast of this movie on a major network (don't remember which) promised extra scenes that were cut from the theatrical version. What a rip - there were two extra scenes, both were in the first half hour, and neither of them featured dinosaurs! No wonder they didn't show clips from those scenes in the ads.
Yeah, overall, I liked The Lost World quite a bit. It's rushed and seemingly tweaked for maximum demographic appeal, but it's got enough excellence and a will to DISplease a wide demographic (with its violence and mean-spirited treatment of its characters) that it comes across as a winner, that's gutsy in its own weird way.
Watch for a The Lost World arcade game. In it, there's one scene where you have to shoot shit as it comes out of a brachiosaur's ass. I swear, I'm not making this up. Watch also, if you can somehow find a way to watch a TV show that was broadcast two years ago and will never see reruns, Siskel & Ebert's review of this film. Occasionally, Gene Siskel said some really out-of-left-field, nonsensical stuff in his comments, resulting in a priceless look of disbelief from Roger. This review has two such moments. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll thank me. But you won't get the pictures on their website.