THE MANGLER
I obviously need medication, because I love this movie
It's so lonely here. The Mangler ranks up there with The Fear as one of the most hated films in this newsgroup. I've no closet to come out of - I've always been candid about my affection for this movie. But tonight I'm gonna tell you why I like it so.
Based loosely the Stephen King story, The Mangler concerns a huge laundry press at the Blue Ribbon Laundry in Riker's Valley. The laundry is run by a couple of slave-drivers who make Smithers and Mr. Burns look like softies in comparison. The owner, played by Robert Englund in one of the few old-age makeup-jobs I've ever seen work, is a crotchety old southern bastard with twin leg braces and a gimpy eye. His foreman is an ill-tempered brute who "works (the employees) like dogs". He softens up awfully quickly when he sees his first folded and pressed body. (there appears to be no union presence in Riker's Valley)
The Blue Ribbon and the machine are both wonderfully realized, both looking like a mix of Dickensian soot and toil, and a gothic sort of futuro-horror. Not like you'd expect cyborgs to step out of the wall and say "Why Mister Scrooge, it's Christmas day!", but hey, it's still pretty neat.
Anyway, one day, a young employee cuts herself and bleeds on the laundry press, which seems to develop a taste for blood because it then "eats" one of the older employees; that is, gets the poor gal caught in the gears and pulls her on through. When the paramedics remove her remains, what's left of her is in what appears to be a bucket. Hence the title! Yes, it's an EEEEEEEEvil laundry machine, and it thirsts for human blood!
I know, I know what you're thinking. How can a good horror movie be made about a giant piece of equipment that's bolted down and can't even fit through the door? What's it gonna do, get up and chase these people around?
That's what I like about this movie. It takes the idea of a killer laundry machine, and gives it legs.
Ted Levine, meanwhile, plays John Hunton, the most hard-boiled cop I've ever seen. This guy clearly hates life, hates himself, hates every thing around him (especially haunted refrigerators), except maybe his brother-in-law, and maybe he hates him too. (but not as much as the haunted refrigerators) Grumbling, snarling, constantly popping antacid tablets - this man is not a big Barney fan. It kind of makes you wonder what he sees in his brother-in-law, a new age guru-type named Mark (Daniel Matmor). (I can only assume that Mark is the husband of John's sister, because if he were the brother of John's wife, he probably would have previously heard just how she died) That guy comes in handy when it becomes increasingly clear that they're dealing with an evil laundry machine.
Levine is just fuckin' great - Oscar for Levine. Nicholas Cage can kiss my hairy ass - I'll remember Ted Levine in this movie long after I've forgotten Cage's booze-swillin', misshapen lower jaw in Leaving Las Vegas. If this guy were any more cranky, they'd have to tie him down. Englund is so far over the top it's hilarious, turning out the only non-Elm Street performance of his that I really like. The rest of the cast is mostly just okay (although Jeremy Crutchley is of note as the leering crime photographer with whom (Levine) has an uncertain, but unhappy past), but the movie's worth watching for those two alone. Sure, some of their dialogue sucks (okay, a lot of it sucks) but nobody can say they didn't give it everything they have, which is considerable.
The gore scenes are too far apart, but when they do happen, they're a lot of fun. One nice touch is a completely gratuitous moment where a dying man suddenly sits up and spits a big wad of blood out of his mouth, right on to the camera. Then he lays back down and dies. Also noteworthy is the attempt the mortician makes at making a semi-presentable corpse out of the Mangler's first victim (I take it this is going to be a closed-casket funeral anyway - why not just scoop her in?).
It's all entirely too long (106 minutes), and it certainly needs more killer-laundry-machine action (total laundry-induced body count: 4, and an arm), but still, I found it mostly quite enjoyable. By the time the Mangler actually does get up and stomp around, I was won over completely; this sequence is a hoot, although much of it appears to be lost in the pan-n-scan. (and it's really unclear just what happens at its conclusion) This is not a great movie, but it is really the only movie Tobe Hooper's directed since 1986 that's worth the piss to soak it down with. Really, it's sad when you see what's become of him. I mean, Night Terrors? Christ!
This baby's more fun with beer, but isn't everything? Well, maybe with Canadian beer...