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THE MATRIX RELOADED (2003)
Doesn't disappoint, for whatever that's worth My expectations were subterranean. After all, I didn't much like the original Matrix. I hardly needed a sequel, and that title is dreadful, reminiscent of the lowest depths to which Metallica stooped. The Matrix Reloaded is, at least, a slightly less pompous parade of attempted profundity than its predecessor, and it's about as good an action movie. A few good new ideas are thrown at us (love those "back doors"), and its big security-guard massacre is done with kung-fu instead of bullets, something I can't help but feel might've been a product of a post-9/11 sensitivity toward "collateral damage". It's still, however, a slave to the Wachowskis' need for it to be all cool, all the time. Which they're not always very good at. Trenchcoats and dusters everywhere, that one's obvious. Everybody wears shades, even indoors, at night - well, they say it works for Bono. But...Morpheus doing that "come on and fight" hand gesture again? And the spoon? One of the worst geek-out moments in movie history. Whatever cool is, this dorky shit has never heard of it. Okay, bad news for humanity - the evil robots which have enslaved us have found Zion, the underground city where escaped humans dwell, and they're drilling. What's worse, the dastardly AI Agent Smith has learned how to turn others - Matrix civilians, staff and visitors alike - into other Smiths. (inevitably, one Smithed guy gets pulled out of the Matrix and has to inhabit his own body again, and the actor playing this guy has Hugo Weaving's teleprompter style down!) These Smiths engage in kung fu and only whip out their guns ("Kill them!") when it's too late. Seemingly everybody who survived the first movie returns (for the paycheck), none looking less happy to be here than Carrie-Ann Moss as Trinity, who looks like she hasn't forgiven herself for turning into such a girly girl at the end of the last movie. Her Matrix-given status as the new sci-fi sex symbol instantly dried up here, what with her noticeably disgusted attitude and a broken nose that's impossible to ignore. There are some new characters too, some of which are a little fun (Lambert Wilson as the AIs' approximation of an arrogant Frenchman, and a couple of neat-looking AI twins), and some of which just either look pretty (seemingly every human), provide some stupid stock conflicts (Harry J. Lennix), or both (Monica Belluci). The visuals in The Matrix Reloaded are hard to fault. The cinematography gives the real world a nice metallic blue and the world of the Matrix a green that's less sickening than last time. We get to see plenty of the subterranean city of Zion that was mentioned once or twice in the first movie - an apartment-walled chasm whose depths disappear into the downward distance. I liked how the battle-waldos have a jerky stop-motion look to them, even though I'm sure they were as CGI as everything else. The action successfully takes the first movie's ground-breaking style to the next level, and most of it is fun, despite the violence being a lot less, uh, violent this time. There's one of those hand-to-hand fight where it's totally obvious that neither party really means it. Later, Keanu takes on dozens, even hundreds of impressively identical Agent Smiths in a battle that's sometimes a howl, sometimes too wire-fuey for its own good, sometimes accompanied by some really silly music (and sillier bowling sound effects), and is awfully bloodless considering how many faces get whacked with a big metal pole. So far as violence goes, Harry Potter endured worse in his last movie than anybody here has to. The action highlight has to be an insane freeway chase (Trinity had once been warned that going on the freeway was "suicide" - but nothing about it seems any more dangerous than a regular freeway) about two-thirds of the way through which is all adrenaline and little plausibility, and lots of fun. Still, that plot, that plot. Even without getting into the logic, The Matrix Reloaded has enough contrivances and arbitrary or clichéd motivations to make the story as much of a chore to get through as the last movie's was. Morpheus and the fleet commander (Lennix) differ not only as to Keanu's status as a messiah, but they're also fighting over a girl (thanks to more meddling from the hated Oracle). Lennix's primary role here is to disagree with Morpheus's recommendations based on these differences in opinion, and that they can't afford to let one ship detour for a while before the thirty-six hours are up. Meanwhile, a pilot and his wife have a stock argument over him working too much. Even the AI's fight over stupid boring juvenile shit like errant lipstick stains. I give you the following exchange, that sums up why I hate this plot: "How do you know all this?" "I know because I must know. It is my purpose, the reason I'm here." Perfect. This totally sums up all this mystical bullshit that flushes an otherwise intriguing sci-fi universe. The plot can't advance without some arbitrarily, divinely-bestowed information delivered at the right time. Nobody figures anything out; they have to be told by these mystic sources. Isn't this essentially the psychic-link problem, tweaked a little? It also exposes the arbitrariness of the rules that the Matrix operates under (can bend, can't break...yeah, right) - only Keanu can get through the door, why? Because he must, it is his purpose. Otherwise it'd just be a regular door. If more people than Keanu could go through it, more people than Keanu probably would. Argh. I actually found myself wishing for some Trekkie tech babble. Okay, I guess there's still as much mystic bullshit as there always was. One thing that's remarkable about it though is how unremarkable Keanu's messianic miracles are. Until the last few minutes of the movie, Keanu does nothing of note outside of the Matrix, which is essentially an elaborate video game. So he's really good at playing a video game - and, like in The Last Starfighter, his video game skills could save humanity. I'm starting to see why this movie struck such a chord with people nerdier than I am. As for that quantum singularity of mystic bullshit, the Oracle, she's back again, and I still hate that old bat. She has another hopelessly unilluminating scene so obtuse that some ads for this movie were based entirely on Keanu's baffled reactions in it. Ooo, candy! So deep! Yeah, that kind of shit. Monica Belluci is heard to say "I am so sick and tired of this bullshit. Pompous prick, on and on." She wasn't talking about the Oracle, but she could have been. She could've been talking about half the cast of this movie. I don't like the pseudo-profound windbaggery, but I expected it. I did not, however, expect the following statement: "Every story you've ever heard about vampires, werewolves, or aliens is the system assimilating a program that's doing something it's not supposed to be doing." Where do I even start with that one? To list off the ways that's a teetering tower of horseshit would be insulting to your intelligence, since I'm sure you've already thought of at least two. Of all the questionable decisions made making The Matrix Reloaded, none seem more goofily out of place than Morpheus's big pre-battle speech (argh) which isn't even before a battle, but before a dance. "The robots are coming to kill us! Everybody dance!" Not an exact quote, but a good "pardon?" moment. Then everybody dances, except for Neo and Trinity who share a tender sex scene which isn't very explicit but it's the only thing that explains this movie's R rating. Sure liked that scene with the Architect though - cool without straining at it, and more usefully informative about the world these movies are set in than anything we'd heard from Morpheus or the Oracle. For all of The Matrix Reloaded's faults, at least it didn't make you wait long for the resolution to its cliffhanger ending - it was less than half a year before the third movie came out and made this look like a masterpiece. (c) Brian J. Wright 2005 BACK TO THE M's BACK TO THE MAIN PAGE |