MOUNTAINTOP MOTEL MASSACRE Crap-ola When I saw that this was from the same illiterate buffoons who gave us the hysterically incompetent Video Murders, I snatched 'er up. Alas, this one's just professional enough to be no fun at all. Its tagline may be marginally amusing with its poor grammar ("Please don't disturb Evelyn. She already is."), but as a whole, this movie just sucks, and not in a good way. Evelyn's the matronly keeper of the Mountaintop Motel, which apparently resides at the very end of a lengthy side road that's nowhere near anything else (lousy place for a motel, Evelyn). After being in the cracker factory for a few years, she's released and kills her daughter (neice? granddaughter? toilet-scrubber?) out of anger. She successfully cons the cops into thinking it was an accident, and then proceeds to continue her rampage against the guests of the motel - first by unleashing vermin into their rooms, and then by attacking them with a sickle. Our nominal hero in this silly mess is a guy who claims to be the president of Columbia Records. (he tells this to two nubile, soaked young women who need a ride. Needless to say, they believe it.) Repeatedly tantalizing us with the promise of bare female flesh (the best kind), MMM never delivers. It also seems that the gore is horribly cut, although if I were as poor a filmmaker as this particular father-and-son team is, I'd probably just film my movie that way to make it look like somebody else botched it. Pretty freakin' lame all around. Not quite House of Death lame, but that ain't really a compliment, guys. BACK TO THE M's BACK TO THE MAIN PAGE