THE NEST
About as good as roach-horror movies get

  The cover of this movie has a panties-and-bra-clad woman being molested by a giant - yep - cockroach.  Nothing like ham-fisted visual punnery to start off a movie just right...

Super-vicious roaches are swarming all over North Port, killing people, turning dogs and cats into disgusting carcasses without skin, making a mess of things, and ohmygodthehorror they've eaten the glue from the library's book bindings!  (approximate length of time elapsed before we hear "La Cucaracha": 45 minutes) Do you think the gene-splicing Intec Corporation is responsible?  Does the Pope shit in the woods?

It's like a small-town Mimic (except of course this predates Mimic by almost a decade, and doesn't have Mira "I'd make lusty comments about her but Paul would put the whack out on me" Sorvino), with the roaches even taking on the form (more or less) of their prey.

Remember how in Jaws, you knew the shark was coming because of the theme song, and a big fin poking out of the water?  Here, you know the roaches are coming because you hear them rustling through the grass, as the grass shifts around like something's marching through it.  So, keep that in mind.  (keep also in mind one character's claim that your expected lifespan in Alaska, midsummer, if you're naked, is 20 minutes.  I have no idea if that's an accurate statistic, but it would help explain why the male-female ratio up there is like fifty to one, because every woman I know loves, loves, LOVES to sunbathe.)

They eventually have to hunt after the queen, which shouldn't come as any surprise if you've seen, say, Aliens.  And the queen is like a big nasty version of the rest of them (aren't most insect queens sessile blubberbutts?).  There's also a nicely repulsive human-to-roach transformation, as disgusting as the climactic one in The Fly, if completely lacking any semblance of dramatic power.

It's all pretty silly stuff, but there's one scene with some undeniable power to make you squirm, when a woman with a broken leg is besieged by the chitinous critters and they crawl right up the cast.  I've never even had to endure a broken limb (and thus neither the maddening itchiness which I've heard so much about), but man oh man, I can imagine.  More extra points must be awarded for a nicely disgusting climax, although it looks trimmed at point to secure an R rating (is that even an issue with straight-to-video movies?).

Nothing to write home about, The Nest still ain't bad, and is substantially better than most movies that I've rented recently.  Not that that's saying much (I'm still recovering from Evolver and The Presence).

Directed by The Howling co-writer Terence H. Winkless.  You've gotta love that IMDb "recommendations engine", which proudly states that if you like this movie, you'll love Escape From L.A., Highlander and Strange Days.

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