THE PIT
Hilariously bad! Not to be missed.
When you rent a movie with the tagline "Jamie wouldn't kill anyone...unless Teddy told him to!", with cover art depicting an obviously retarded child holding a teddy bear, you pretty much know what you're getting yourself into.
I don't know if I as a Canadian should be proud or ashamed of this so-bad-it's-hysterical non-effort. It stars Sammy Snyders, who probably lives in an abandoned Pinto today, as Jamie, who divides his time between sexually harassing his babysitter and listening to advice from his evil teddy bear. (you can tell it's evil because its eyes glow) Just where Teddy got his capability for speech and ability to move its head around isn't even hinted at. Maybe that's for the best.
His babysitter is there for quite some time - long enough to have her boyfriend go missing and to start dating one of his teammates. The kid's parents, apparently, knew when the gettin' was good. Soon enough, Jamie finds a gaping hole in the ground out in the woods, and a bunch of troglodytes living down there. He spends all his savings on meat to feed them (even stealing from his babysitter) but eventually runs out, and has to supplement their diet with, uh, you figure it out.
It's at this point in the film where I was unable to deny that it's pure comedy any longer. Jamie's tactics for dropping people into the pit have to be seen to be believed - usually, he pushes them in, but sometimes, he just picks people who are so unobservant that they don't see this big fucking hole in the ground, and they fall right in. The police aren't doing much - the chief/sheriff/whatever amply demonstrates his idiocy a few times, and nobody else notices this huge hole in the ground until 100 minutes into the movie.
The acting is bad (especially by all the juveniles, who take bad kid acting to a whole new level), the writing is hilariously absurd (one girl's idea of an insult is "you funny person"), and the plot, well, I just told you. See this one drunk or you risk not getting it. And while you're at it, check out the hilarious user comment (see, these things aren't a complete waste of bandwidth) at the IMDb.
And about the ending... (don't swipe below, both of you who want to be surprised) If you're standing above a big hole, with Trogs in it, and you say "They're Trogs! They eat people!" and the girl you're with says "Yes, I know", would you let her stand right behind you, in perfect pushing position? That this kid is obviously retarded goes a long way toward explaining this.
Damn, damn, DAMN funny! If you're a fan of so-bad-it's-good, rush out and see it now. If you're not, this will make you one.