PLANET OF THE VAMPIRES
Really dumb, but entertaining
I'm sorry - two lines just made me crack up in this movie. The first is one of the first few lines in the film, when the crew is ordered to "Suppress cortical areas X,Y, and Z." Are we being told to shut off our brains for this movie?
The next is a line which is very likely to be my next .sig file: "If there's any intelligent life on this planet, it's our enemy!" (note: this line actually did become my .sig file for several weeks)
This was one of my first Mario Bava movies. The plot doesn't really concern vampires, but possession of the crew of a futuristic spaceship on another planet by beings who want to get offworld.
The film as a whole isn't particularly dumb, though, even if it isn't particularly smart...it just features some really, really, really bad math. One instance is where our heroes come across an alien skeleton so huge, one of them could probably fit into just the skull if they squeezed in tight enough. Somebody says "It must be three times the size of one of us!"
Another time is when somebody comments that it would take a planet 1000 times the size of their own (read: Earth) to generate 40 G's. Uh...from what distance is this?
All this aside, though, it's a serviceable little movie, if not too exceptional. It's mostly appealing on a visual level - its costumes and sets and stages look likewhat the original Star Trek might have looked like if Gene Roddenberry was, well, an Italian horror director.
Also known as (you might want to write this down) The Demon Planet, The Outlaw Planet, The Planet Of The Damned, Space Mutants (take note, Simpsons fans), Planet of Blood, The Haunted Planet, Planet Of Terror, and Terror In Space. A violation of the unwritten rule that states that the quality of a movie is inversely proportional to the number of titles it goes by.