More Hooper than a bucket of ceramic ferrets
I loved this movie as a kid, the first time I saw it. Rather enjoyed it in later viewings as a teenager. As an adult, I find it not bad, but it's becoming pretty clear that the more times I see this movie, the less I like it. Any more viewings before this review and I'd probably be bashing it left and right. As it is, today, I find it an occasionally amusing distraction, and not much more.
It's suburbia, it's "happy life of families and safe streets" music (courtesy of Jerry Goldsmith, but it's as good an imitation of John Williams as I've ever heard), it's cute kids left and right...it's Spielberg, all right. Directing credit for Poltergeist goes to Tobe Hooper, but after all the stories I've heard about the production of this movie, not one of them started with "Spielberg? Nah, he let Hooper do his own thing."
The movie opens with little Carol-Ann Freeling (Heather O'Rourke) answering questions from the white noise on her TV. If you can't hear that TV asking anything, don't bother checking your hearing, I'm pretty sure only the kid's supposed to hear. Soon the kid's watching the white noise more than regular programming, which is pretty messed up, and her mom (JoBeth Williams) notices rather strange phenomena in the house, like chairs almost instantly rearranging themselves into intricate stacks when her back is turned. It's a poltergeist, all right, or else they'd have called this movie Chair-Goblin. And it's getting bored playing with chairs and decides to abduct Carol-Ann into its nether-world of wherever the hell it is.
Along for the ride is Craig T. Nelson as the dad, Zelda Rubenstein as a diminutive psychic chick who is brought in when some paranormal investigator types find themselves in too deep, Oliver Robins as Robbie, the brother, and Dominique Dunne as Dana, the older sister. (Dunne was murdered by her boyfriend some months later, prompting rumors of a "Poltergeist curse" which continues through deaths of other cast members, as if death was something that doesn't happen to actors)
Fifteen years ago, I would have gushed. Ten, I would have praised. Five, I would have given it a modest recommendation. Today, I've just gotta tell you; there is so much in this movie that's just plain wrong.
Even though it shows stuff happening all the time, the pacing for this 115-minute movie is somehow plodding for any viewer looking for more than an FX fix, making it feel awfully close to forever. The dialogue is pretty inane, especially in conversations between the married couple, who are usually stoned. After all this time, "They're here!" sounds so much like a line, it stops the movie dead. I know, you can't blame the movie for that, but a better movie would age a little more gracefully. And how many times can you hear Williams shriek? Her voice is like a long, hot needle right in your ear.
Rubenstein obviously intends to steal the show, and fails, seeming terribly undignified for the wasted effort. Her role is written clumsily as well; I've never once gotten the "run to the light...run away from the light" shit straight, and if I ever find myself on the Other Side, I'm just gonna sit around in the dark until I see a tour guide.
Now, this isn't an out-n-out bad movie, though much of it is indeed bad. I liked the scientific investigations into the phenomena in the house (like throwing balls into the bedroom closet and seeing them fall out of the living room ceiling). O'Rourke manages to be a cute kid without getting into dangerous "I'm so cute you'll wish I was dead" territory. The cast is mostly quite good, seeming largely like a real family (except for Dunne, who only shows up for a handful of scenes anyway), something we don't really see a lot of in movie families. And yes, if it weren't for this movie, I still wouldn't know how to tell if a storm is moving closer or farther away.
There are a few successful spooks here and there, like how Rusty looks out at the tree outside his window, which gets more threatening-looking as the movie goes on (unfortunately, cumulating in a ludicrous payoff where he's almost eaten by it). And evil-looking clowns are among the most malevolent-looking entities on the planet. But any potential for creating real suspense or fear is undercut by the brutally overdone visual effects, which are impressive, but are so, well, FX.
Poltergeist is the movie that came most easily to mind when our esteemed Craig Hamann suggested that the FX-loaded "horror" movie was something we've only had to contend with recently (like with The Haunting). I like visual effects as much as the next guy - yeah, even CGI effects, of which this movie has none (duh, it's 1982) - even when they overwhelm things sometimes. Sometimes. This movie's FX just go apeshit all over the place.
Man, talk about effects running amok! Sure, they're neat to look at (the giant head popping out of the closet, the bottomless throat appearing in the wall, one guy tearing off his own face one chunk at a time, objects being hurled around, the old hag in the doorway, and of course the man-eating tree), but they're not remotely scary. The attempt to fuse the FX whiz-bang and wonderment of Spielberg with the kind of horror Hooper is known for flops around like a fish out of its bowl, managing neither to frighten nor awe, just inspire half-enthused musings of "Hey, cool". Not like I'm entertaining many what-if's about a more Hooperized Poltergeist; he'd used up his last scary moment a year before in The Funhouse and hasn't raised a chill since in eighteen long, Night Terrors-filled years.
Yup, what it adds up to is The Haunting (1999), set down in 1982; basically, a nice, safe, great-looking (if not great) "horror" movie you can take your Ritalin-taking kids to and they mightn't fidget too much.
Trivia: Drew Barrymore once read for the role of Carol-Ann, but Spielberg said it wasn't right for her and steered her in an ET-ish direction. That's probably for the best for her, considering that not only did E.T. become a bigger hit, but O'Rourke died soon after filming Poltergeist III.
Watch also for Sonny Landham (Billy from Predator) and Lou Perry (L.G. from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2) in small roles as construction workers.