PYTHON II (2002) Shockingly, not an improvement on the original I probably should have known better than to have rented this, but I was surprised by how decent Boa Vs. Python was and temporarily forgot about the terribleness of the first Python. That, and it has Simmone Mackinnon, who was a redeeming factor in Deep Shock. Python, at least, had the quality of its flamboyant awfulness to keep my interest. Python II is mostly just dull. The sequel is loosely connected to the original, with another crashed plane with a slithery cargo (this time downed by Chechnyan militants), and former small-town sheriff William Zabka returning, this time in the CIA and apparently feared by crooked Russian businessmen. This super-snake is eighty-five feet long and twelve tons, roars like a lion and spits acid, as we find out in the opening scene where a bunch of soldiers with stars-and-stripes shoulder patches hunt the snake and speak in accents so thick I couldn't understand half of what they were saying. It is indeed referred to as "the perfect weapon" (ugh), and its cage comes with a self-destruct, I suppose in case the snake escapes and has to be destroyed when it returns to the cage. The "industrial wreck" locations (surely in no short supply in Russia) are convincing and even a little atmospheric, and Zabka has a little more to chew on than you'd think in one scene where he gets some tough orders. If there's any reason to see Python II, that's probably it. As for Ms. Mackinnon...she is introduced with two loving close-ups of her shapely posterior, which I wouldn't dare bitch about but this isn't likely to be why she signed up. She lays on the accent and basically plays the passive girlfriend role - she is not a redeeming factor in this movie. This movie could've used a lot more redeeming factors. BACK TO THE P's BACK TO THE MAIN PAGE