RAWHEAD REX
Clive, hang thy head in shame
In Ireland, some (presumably drunk) idiot moves a big rock and frees Rawhead Rex, the monster that lives underneath it. Rex is basically a really big guy wearing rags and a stupid-looking mask. Anyway, then Rex goes around killing people, while an American is the only person in town with a good enough head on his shoulders to see what's going on. (I was wondering, going in, if Clive Barker, an Englishman, would treat the Irish or the Americans as the bigger buffoons. Now I have my answer.)
This is the lamest thing I've ever seen come directly from Barker. Honestly, I don't remember anything about the story this is based on; my memory is clearer of the "Nightbreed vs. Rawhead Rex" comic I had back in high school. I've read that he disavowed the movie - but it's not like anybody butchered his magnificent script or anything. Lousy monster design aside, Rex is still basically a big dumb ape that spends more time smashing things and waving his arms around than he does killin'.
Even the much-mentioned scene where Rex pees on a priest's head just sucks here - it's shot from so far away that you wouldn't even know what was going on if you didn't read about it beforehand. Damn, I was disappointed. Nothing makes me laugh quite like the notion of some poor bastard being peed on when he's not expecting it. (mind you, this guy was expecting it, but I still would have cracked up)
Fails on most every level - fright, fun, FX, gore ('cept for one scene you have to sit through the whole movie to see) - and just plain blows. It's like Pumpkinhead 2 with neither the unintentional laughs nor Punky Brewster's huge breasts. Die-hard Clive Barker fans might get a kick out of this, but probably not.
Go rent Candyman instead.