THE REPTILE (1966) Rabbit-hating sons of bitches, damn you to Hell! Definitely not one of the better Hammer films I've seen, The Reptile has a very few things to recommend about it, but for the most part it's just silly. A new sort of "black death" is striking the residents of an unfortunate English town, gangrene, foaming at the mouth, that sort of thing, and it's always accompanied by two fang-like puncture holes. The title suggests that this might be the work of some sort of reptile. The box cover art shows us that reptile. This movie disappoints even before it's seen. Dr. Franklyn (Noel Willman) lives with his daughter Anna (Jacqueline Pearce) and a mysterious butler from the far East (Marne Maitland), who slaps the doctor at one point for being insolent. Good help can be hard to find. Quickly becoming suspicious of all three are Harry and Valerie Spalding (Ray Barrett and Jennifer Daniel), who have recently inherited some property from a recently-fanged relative. From very early on, this movie shows clear promise of being one of the schlockier Hammer movies, and as it wears on, it doesn't let us down in that regard, eschewing the more thoughtful, icy chill of Hammer's better films for more piled-on cheese. Good-looking women (never mind that Jennifer Daniel reminds me of Tonya Harding), gruesome deaths, and the monster is...again, total cheese. I'm not complaining about that, I just want it to be a little more well-done. The story isn't bad, but I don't have it in me to much care when Anna's sitar performance leads me to wonder if she took lessons from the same person who must've taught Demi Moore guitar for One Crazy Summer. Hey, if you played a fretted instrument, you'd be a tightass about this too. The reptile makeup/costume is terrible. And what's with the scene where one man, trying to free a number of caged animals (kittens and rabbits), frees only the kittens? Bastard! This anti-rabbit propaganda film must be either avoided or seen for what it is. Damn you, Hammer! (falls over, drunk) BACK TO THE R's BACK TO THE MAIN PAGE