SLEEPWALKERS
Madchen Amick rocks my world, baby!
Yes, yes she does. With a smile that'd light up a black hole, this unbelievably hot young lady may well belong on my top tier of babealiciousness. And even though all she does in the last third of the film is bawl and scream, she still makes even a flaccid mess like this worth watching. Other than her, this movie is, indeed, a flaccid mess.
My first thought when watching this one? "Uh-oh. This ain't a good sign when in the very first shot you can see a boom mike." It's right there, right in the middle of the screen, reflected in a car window. The plot concerns a young man, Charles, who's new in town, and he's on a mission: to stay young, his mother (with whom he has this freaky-ass incestuous relationship) (but then,she's played by Alice Krige, so can you blame him?) needs the life-essence of a comely maiden of virtue true, and you'd better believe that Madchen's character has made no trips to the shag factory.
And from there, Stephen King's ridiculous script loads itself to the gunnels with inexplicable, incessant bullshit. There's a completely gratuitous car chase between Charles and a jive-talkin' black police officer, which comes to a convenient conclusion when Charles turns himself - and his car! - invisible. Said car later turns into a different car - I mean, a really different car - when he makes it visible again. So, is this his power, or has he got some sort of magic car? Hell if I know.
Later, the Sleepwalkers are established as being seen for their monstrous true selves when viewed in a mirror. So what are they doing, inviting people into their well-mirrored house? And the Sleepwalkers' Achilles Heel? The scratch of a feisty feline. When one comes to Amick's rescue, it looks like Toonces The Driving Cat stapled to a thrashing Charles.
What's gotta be the goofiest murder weapon I've seen in along, long time, a cob of corn, is put to use and followed up with the impenetrable one-liner "No vegetables, no dessert." I have no idea what that means. Ron Perlman, also shows up, in the only role I've seen him in where he didn't steal the whole film. On the plus side, it does have nice cameos by King, Clive Barker, Tobe Hooper, Jon Landis and Joe Dante. I had to check the credits to find out about Landis and Dante, as I have no idea what they look like.
I dunno - pretty silly, lame stuff overall, but I'd watch Madchen Amick cleaning mildew from between her shower tiles. Watch it for her. Grovel and beg, for her. Pull off your fingernails, for her.