SPAWN Bring on the sequel...but do it right this time! I've said before, that I've never been much of a fan of superhero comic books, or the movies that base themselves on them. That having been said, the first two Superman movies were really cool. Spawn (the comic book) went pretty much unnoticed by me, coming as it did after I'd given up comics for other media, but I have to admit its ideas are pretty intriguing. Satan, Hell, chains and blades and burnt flesh everywhere, it's like the ultimate heavy metal superhero story. What's not to like? Even one of my favorite metal bands put out an album based on the comic (though none of the songs are featured in this film, which is too bad since damn near anything would've been an improvement on the silly techno shit we're given). Spawn opened up to a hell of a lot of local hype; the comic's creator, Todd McFarlane, is probably Calgary's biggest "local boy makes good" story. But once the cat was out of the bag, nobody could deny that as a movie, it needed a lot of work (except for Roger Ebert, turning in one of his all-time greatest what-the-hell-was-he-thinking reviews; "visions of hell that are worthy of Hieronymous Bosch"? What the bloody fucking hell was he thinking?). Michael Jai White stars as Al Simmons, an operative in a super-secret military unit that blows up what needs to be blown up. He's betrayed by his team and killed; and five years later (that must be like 5 billion years in Hell years), for the chance to again be with his wife and daughter, agrees to lead the devil's hellish army of the unholy. Thus, he becomes Spawn, who can turn his flesh into metal (chains, blades, saws, whatever he needs) and can do all sorts of fun stuff with his big red cape. But this of course comes with a price even after he decides to go back on his deal, and an obnoxious little clown (John Leguizamo) seems determined to get Spawn to do his job. White's fine; there isn't a lot of acting to be done in this role, at least in this film, that isn't done by muttering (and I don't know what it says about cinema, audiences, or this genre that in order to have a black superhero make it to the big screen, you have to burn off his face). Most everyone else is just kinda bland, even Martin Sheen (as Simmons' treacherous boss) making for a pretty lackluster villain, more suited to some direct-to-video Kickboxer sequel than anything this bombastic. But it's Leguizamo that I had the biggest problem with; yes, I know it's the point that his role is disgusting and obnoxious. But it's annoying, and so annoying that it's not menacing, even after we find out he can turn into a tyrannosaurus with big arms. It's neat that the FX guys have managed to somehow turn him into a fat midget, but I just wanted him to shut the hell up. It may be a fabulously go-for-broke performance, but it's just not used right. There's a LOT of CGI in this movie; creatures, Spawn effects, even entire environments. The sheer volume of it is impressive, but the quality, generally, is not. Hell, for example, looks less like a place of eternal torment and more like a gathering of Slayer fans (who all look like Spawn) waiting for the band to show up. Sure, everything looks like it's made out of magma, and gravity works in pretty much any direction it wants to, but that doesn't seem to bother anybody. The Violator creature that Leguizamo turns into isn't particularly convincing either as a CGI whole-body creature, or an animatronic head. And Spawn's chains and cape never for a moment seem like they're actually on the same plane of existence as he is. The only time these effects seem completely satisfactory is a nicely Lovecraftian moment when Spawn is attacked by the Violator as it materializes from out of a wall (whether or not this actually happened in any Lovecraft stories aside, that's the vibe I get from this). That, and any number of shots where Spawn's armor suddenly materializes, or when he starts growing spikes. There are some less-than-satisfying plot elements, like the late introduction of Nicol Williamson as a mentor for Spawn, who brings little to the film that Spawn wouldn't have eventually figured out on his own. And while the battles (between Spawn and the Violator, or Spawn and any number of human goons) are fairly exciting if you can look past the needs-improvement CGI, once you've figured out that Spawn is more or less indestructible, the excitement mostly goes away. The Spawn comic is reportedly a pretty gruesome one, and the animated TV series that it (ahem) spawned definitely wasn't for kids. Predictably, though, this movie tones down the violence and Satanic themes; it's there, but little enough of it to squeak by with a PG-13 for the kids. Not being a particularly big success, I can't help but think it might've attracted a wider audience by being more forthright about its adult themes; it's a shame that so many people continue to think of certain things as nothing more than entertainment for children and teenagers. Still, there's a lot to like here, and there's enough fire and brimstone in this movie's belly to leave you with the pleasing sensation of having seen something you probably haven't seen before. Director Mark Dippe is an experienced FX man; maybe a bigger budget would've enabled him to turn in more convincing FX. But he does have an arresting vision for the film, where even the wipes are edged in fire. And it's always nice to see Melinda Clarke from Return Of The Living Dead 3. ALWAYS nice to see Melinda Clarke. It's a failure, yes, but not an uninteresting one; it's the kind of movie I intensely hope there to be a sequel to, not because I want more of the same or because I'm impressed enough by the characters to want to see their further adventures, but because I want the filmmakers to get it right this time. Maybe with a few Iced Earth songs in there, too. BACK TO THE S's BACK TO THE MAIN PAGE