Replay by Tyra

Chapter 21

The sirens blared a warning as it backed into the emergency entrance. The ER nurses and doctors ran out to meet the EMTs. They had radioed ahead that it was a spinal injury and a minor gun shot wound. They were prepared as the doors opened outwards and two EMTs and a petite frantic woman followed the path of the gurney as they rolled it into Mt. Sinai Hospital. A nurse had to force the young distraught woman out into the waiting area as she attempted to followed them into the ER.

"Just wait out here miss. You can't be in there right now. The doctors need to access the damage. What's your name?"

"Brenda Barrett."

"And what is his name?"

"Jasper Jacks."

"And what happened to Mr. Jacks?"

"This lunatic shot at him and he fell off the 2nd floor of the Guggenheim to the main concourse level. There's something really wrong. He doesn't know who I am!"

"Calm down Mss Barrett. Was he conscious before the EMTs got there?"

"Yes he was, but he lost consciousness about 1 minute before they got there. He looked me right in the eyes and smiled, then asked, "Who are you?" then he passed out!"

"Does he have insurance Miss Barrett?"

"Does he have insurance?! Why don't you go in there and see if he's alive?"

"Does he have insurance?"

"I don't know, I guess so, he's a gazillionaire. I'm sure he can afford the bills here."

"I'm sorry Miss Barrett, this is just standard admittance stuff. It will help you to pass the time until the doctors have finished their examination. Let's sit over here. I know you're concerned about Mr. Jacks, but I need to get his admittance work finished so we can act quickly on whatever treatment he may need." At that moment another nurse left the ER and brought a bag towards Brenda.

"Oh My God NO!!!!! He can't be dead! He smiled at me! We were going to have a wonderful evening together! NO!!!!!"

The approaching nurse ran towards Brenda, "Calm down miss. He's not dead! They're still working on him. They just cut away all his clothing and these are his belongings. I was just bringing them to you for safe keeping. I'm sorry that I frightened you."

Brenda shuddered as the thought that he had died chilled her to the bone. "How is he?"

"He's stable. His vitals are strong. They're still trying to determine the extent of his injuries. Are you his wife? Can you sign the authorization if he needs surgery?"

"I'm just a friend. His family doesn't live here. His brother is in London and his parents live in Alaska. I don't know of anyone else."

"Well, maybe he won't need surgery. Do you think you could reach anyone in his family?"

Brenda just shook her head no. She felt so useless, so helpless. "Wait! My sister is with his brother. Maybe I could contact her. She would know where Jerry is!" She deflated as she realized it was about 11:00 in London. They would probably be out celebrating somewhere, waiting for midnight. She adjusted the bag of Jax's belongings to get rid of whatever was poking her lap. She paused as a thought came to mind, and stuck her hand in the bag to extract his cell phone. Her hand shook as she looked at it wondering if by some miracle .. .. .. ? She opened it and closed her eyes momentarily in a quick prayer before she held her breath and pressed redial. She placed the phone up to her ear and counting each ring .. .. one .. .. .. two .. .. .. three .. .. .. four .. .. .. five .. .. ..

"This BETTER be good JAX! I told you I was going to occupied this evening!"

Brenda sighed in relief! "Jerry? This is Brenda, Jax has been in an accident and may need surgery. Can you tell the nurses that you give me the authority to sign in case that turns out to be the case? They also need some information I can't provide. Can you speak to one of the nurses here?" Brenda handed the phone to the nurse and released a shuddered breath. Her chest ached, from what?, she didn't know. Heavy heart? Panic Attack? Guilt? Fear? Her head wanted to explode from all the emotions that raced through her mind, her body. She sat there in a stupor, barely hearing the nurses conversation with Jerry.

"Is he allergic to any medication? Do you know his doctor's name? Insurance? Does he have any prior existing conditions that we need to be concerned with?"

How could she be so calm in asking these questions? Brenda's mind was swimming in thoughts. He didn't know who she was! How many times was fate going to kick her in the teeth? How much longing, craving, yearning, and loneliness, did a person have to survive before happiness came their way? What had she ever done to deserve so tragic a life? She knew plenty of people who lived life with no major worries or woes. Had she been chosen to bear this enormous cross for all eternity? Just when life was tossed her a rose, she grabbed a handful of thorns.

'Miss Barrett? Miss Barrett!"

"Hhmmm?" Brenda looked blankly at the nurse.

"Mr. Jacks wants to speak with you." Brenda stood and headed towards the ER but the nurse pulled her back.

"I'm sorry Miss Barrett, but I meant this Mr. Jacks." She handed the phone back to her. Brenda slumped back into her chair.

"Hello?"

"Brenda, Julia and I will be flying back immediately. As soon as my jet is fueled we'll be on our way. Julia sends her love. She's off trying to flag down a cab to Heathrow. It's a little difficult right now with midnight coming down upon us. How's Jax?"

"I don't know Jerry. They won't let me in to see him!"

"Calm down Brenda. He took a nasty crack to the head according to the nurse. We've both survived worse. He's a tough one Brenda. You stay by his side and help him fight his way back. I'm counting on you to take care of the person I care about most in this world. Don't let me down."

"I won't Jerry, but hurry! Please hurry!"

Brenda snapped the phone shut. She sat there in a total daze. Jerry had placed his trust in her. Of course he did! What choice did he have? Whether he meant it or not, he didn't even need to ask. She would do whatever it takes to make sure that Jax would come out of this OK. She didn't even care if he ever remembered who she was. She just wanted him to be all right. That's all she wanted. Once he was well, she could teach him to love her again. She was startled out of her thoughts as the nurse returned to sit by her.

"Miss Barrett? I'm Nurse Proctor. We've taken Mr. Jacks to surgery. There appears to be some internal bleeding that the doctors need to stop. It's nothing to be concerned about. The procedure is quite simple. We need you to sign these papers. Mr. Jerry Jacks has authorized you to sign them in his absence."

"Here you go Nurse Proctor. Is there someplace I can go to freshen up? I feel a mess. I don't want to frighten him when he comes out of surgery."

"Why don't I take you to his private room. Miss Barrett. You'd be much more comfortable waiting for him there. It will most likely be a few more hours. After surgery he'll be taken to recovery before he's brought to his room in ICU. There's a couch in the room, you should try to get some rest before he returns and needs you.

"Thank-you." Brenda was in a fog as she followed Nurse Proctor. How could he need someone he didn't know? She hoped Jerry was right. She didn't want to lose this man. She knew without a doubt that she would never meet anymore more perfect for her than Jax.

As she wandered down the hall, a small nondescript little man walked by from the other direction holding a clipboard. No one seemed to notice his presence as he watched Brenda almost stagger after Nurse Proctor. He shook his head as they passed. This case was turning out to be his most frustrating. He had never seen two people so right for each other. He now knew why she had chosen door number 2. She was willing to take the chance of losing everything, for the chance of growing old with this man. Door number 3 would only have given her a taste of this delectable combination of souls. He hope they would find their way back to each other. She still had 4 1/2 years until the contract came due. They still had plenty of time, but how many near misses were they going to survive? He had done his part. He had been throwing them together at every opportunity, but he couldn't do it for them. He could only set up the circumstances, they had to make the right decisions and moves to bring themselves together forever. He wondered how the brother was doing with the sister? There wasn't anything he could do here for a couple of hours. He decided to dash to London to check in on them. This might be their defining moment. Tragedy has been know to bring together strange bedfellows. He bolted through the ceiling and out across the Atlantic. Brenda shivered as this cool breeze blew across the back of her neck. She glanced around and saw no open windows or doors. She shrugged to herself as she continued to follow Nurse Proctor.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

He watched her from his bed. When they had brought him to this room two hours ago, she had been lying on the couch in deep sleep. She looked so small and delicate lying there. He wanted to reach out and touch her, but that was impossible. He swallowed hard as the news the doctor had given him was still hard to believe.

He couldn't move his legs! They didn't think it was permanent because the x-rays showed no breaks in his spinal column. There was significant swelling around the spinal column and they were unable to make a more definitive diagnosis until it had subsided. They had run a full compliments of neurological tests while he was in intensive care and had determined that presently he had no movement or feeling in his legs. His arms and neck appeared to be functioning normally. They were confident that he would regain full use of his legs, but they weren't the ones laying here with no feeling in their limbs. The small possibility that they were wrong kept gnawing at him, making it impossible to sleep. Which is why he was laying here watching her sleep. She seemed so at peace, so beautiful. Watching her made him feel as if nothing was wrong.

Suddenly her face contorted in fear. She began to moan as if in pain. He immediately tried to rise, and cursed his useless legs. He depressed the call button for his nurse.

She began to scream frantically, "No! I did it for you Sonny! I wasn't going to let them use the tape. I love you! I was trying to protect you! Please understand!" Sonny grabbed her with one hand and squeezed her chin as he pulled her towards him. His eyes were dark with rage.

"I can't believe you did this to me Brenda! Lily tried to warn me, but I told her she was wrong. Brenda would never betray me by wearing the wire! Get away from me I can't even bear to look at you!" He released her chin and pushed her away from him. She ran towards him beseeching him to forgive her. He motioned as if he was going to slap her with the back of his hand, stopping at the last possible moment. That was one thing he would never do. He had watched Deke beat on his mother so many times as a child. He had sworn to never use his superior strength against a woman no matter how badly he was provoked. This was the first time that he had ever wanted to strike one. Barely containing his emotions, he decided to leave the room before he couldn't resist the need to strike her. As he left, Brenda threw herself at his feet, latching on to his leg as he tried desperately to leave before he broke this promise to himself.

"Don't leave me Sonny! I love you. I'd do anything for you! STOP! Please come back! NO!!!!" Brenda woke with a start as the nurse rushing in shakes her to consciousness.

"Miss Barrett? Are you all right?"

"What?" Brenda was shivering in fear. What a horrid dream! Sonny Corinthos has been part of this nightmare! At least her night demons now had a face. The events of the day must have caused this reoccurrence of her nightmares. She had not had one for months. Not since that night with Jax. Her dreams since then were wonderfully peaceful and erotic. They always centered on Jax and the wonderful life they would live. She had wonderful dreams of sun, beaches, yachts, frolicking fun, ecstatic joy! Her dreams were so real she sometimes had trouble distinguishing them from reality. She shivered in disgust as her most recent dream replayed in her mind. What in the world had caused that horrid dream. Why would she ever want Sonny Corinthos? She was disgusted that her subconscious could have created such a convoluted dream.

"I asked you if you were all right Miss Barrett?"

"Hhmmm? Oh I'm fine Nurse Proctor, just a bad dream. I get them every once in awhile, but I'm fine now. Thanks. Sorry if I worried you." She then noticed that Jax was here. He had been brought in from recovery. She ran over to his bedside with such happiness evident in her face. "Jax! You're awake. I was so worried for you. Jerry is flying back! He should be here in a few hours. How are you?" She placed her hand along his cheek and gently caressed it with her fingers.

Jax leaned into her stroke, suppressing the desire to purr from the warm feelings that her caresses caused. His eyes deepened with desire as he was sucked into the warmth of her gaze. She looked so concerned for him, so happy to be with him, he could envision spending the rest of his life just like this. "Jerry's coming here? There's really no need for that, the doctor's have told me this is only a temporary situation. I'll be up and about in no time."

"What is only temporary? Is something wrong Jax?"

He pulled her hand from his face and held it on his lap, "I can't move my legs for the moment. But the doctor's think that the swelling around my spinal cord is causing pressure against the nerves that service my legs. They will know more in a day or so when the swelling from the fall and the operation have subsided. But I'm confident that I will fully recover. Half the battle is state of mind, so I refuse to let any bad thoughts prolong my recovery process!"

Tears began to fill her eyes and slowly overflowed down her cheeks. He couldn't believe that her anguish made her even more appealing. Normally he found women and tears an extremely disconcerting sight. But the pain she was feeling made her somehow even more lovely. This woman could make men lay their lives at her feet for the want of her approval.

He smiled at her warmly, placing a hand under her chin, forcing her to look into his eyes, "Are you a friend of Jerry's? Are you the reason he's winging his way back from London? My brother always had the talent for capturing the hearts of the most lovely women!"

She closed her eyes as the horror sunk in. He still didn't know who she was! She stared deep into his eyes willing him to remember her. "No Jax, I'm not Jerry's friend, I'm yours. Don't you remember we were at the Guggenheim Museum. We were about to celebrate New Year's Eve together when the accident occurred. You fell off the second floor and landed in the main lobby below. I was so worried about you Jax. Please tell me your memory loss is temporary too."

He looked at her quizzically, "What memory loss? I can tell you who my parents are, my brother, my ex-wife, all my business holdings, every city where I own a home, my favorite restaurants around the world. I might have taken a nasty crack to the back of my skull, but my memories appear to be intact." His eyes changed to a blue/green hue as he began to laugh, "You're just helping Jer with a practical joke aren't you! He probably thinks I need some cheering up, so he sent you here to play with my mind, didn't he! Well you can tell him it didn't work, and to be on the lookout for return fire. When I'm back on my feet he's going to the target of the biggest practical joke I can pull!" His heart was touched as he noticed that she didn't appear to be finding this situation amusing. In fact, she looked devastated! "All right, I'll play along, What's your name?"

Brenda looked at him with heart wrenching tear filled eyes, "I can't believe that you remember everyone but me Jax. Please think harder. I'm Brenda! Brenda Barrett!!"

Jax's eyes alight with recognition! "Brenda Barrett! I know you! You must be Julia's baby sister! I've crossed swords with her on several business acquisitions! She mentioned you on several occasions. Are you back from boarding school?"

Brenda's shoulders slump in defeat, "Yes Jax, I'm back from boarding school. I'm actually a student at NYU right now. I'm halfway through my Freshman term. If you'll excuse me, I'm going home to shower and change now that I know you've made it out of surgery. I'll be back in a couple of hours. Why don't you try to rest too. Jerry and Julia should be here by the time I return. She leans over and places a platonic kiss on his forehead, then departed.

The smile disappeared off Jax's face and was replaced with an expression of exhaustion and sadness. He laid back down on his pillow and closed his eyes finally surrendering to the blissful freedom that sleep brings.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Brenda took a deep breath before entering Jax's room. She had showered and changed into black knit slacks and a fisherman's knit sweater. Too tired to care, she had pulled her hair up into a ponytail. If Jax didn't think of her as anything other than Julia's baby sister what was the use of trying to look nice. As she entered his room, her senses were assaulted with the raucous partying going on in his room!

Brenda was in total shock as she saw Jax sitting up in bed wearing a purple metallic New Years hat on his head with a noise maker pursed between his lips. Jerry and Julia were equipped with the same, and the trio were in the middle of parting until the cows came home! Julia was the first to notice her at the door.

"Brenda! Close the door! We don't want anyone to catch us here! They'll throw us out if they find us doing this in intensive care!"

"Come on over here Brenda. We got another rig waiting here with your name on it." Jerry places the hat on Brenda's head and shoves the noise maker between her shocked lips. "There you go, now you're properly dressed for the occasion!"

Brenda's confusion was massive. "What are we celebrating?"

Jerry gives her a quick hug, "New Year's of course! Granted a few hours late, but better late than never. That plus the fact that my little brother is now able to wiggle his toes a bit!"

Brenda ran towards Jax her face aglow with joy, "That's wonderful Jax! You were right! You will be as good as new in no time!"

He laughed as he tweaked her nose, "I told you there was power in positive thinking. I'm surprised you returned. I figured that since I figured out Jerry's joke, you wouldn't be back. But I'm glad you did. I'm sure we'll become fast friends since your sister seems to be dating my brother. No accounting for taste though. I thought she would be as smart in picking men as she is in picking businesses. She'll soon see through his insincerity and toss him away, but no worries, we can always be friends. The younger siblings are always the best of lot don't you think Brenda?"

Jerry and Julia watched this interaction in stunned silence. Julia move to Brenda's side as Jerry approached Jax.

"What's going on here bro?

Brenda interrupted as she again lost her composure, "He doesn't remember me Jerry. He thinks we've never met until a few hours ago. He remembers everything else, but not me." She begins to sob.

Jax slaps Jerry on the shoulder, "Great joke Jer. She quite a good actress, but I saw through the charade. Is she really Julia's sister? They don't even look alike."

"Neither do we Jax, but we're still blood. When did you lose your manners? They fall out your ears when you cracked your skull on the parquet? Can't you see how upset you've made her?"

Jax is still laughing believing the joke was on him, "Come on Jer, you can stop all this. It isn't funny anymore. Isn't it bad enough that I can't walk as yet, but you've got it in your mind to make be think I'm daft. I know what I know, and I don't know her! Though it might be amusing to do so." He smiled enchantingly at Brenda, who wept even harder as she saw the total lack of recognition of her in his eyes.

"Come on Jer, you can stop the -- -- You aren't kidding are you? Do I have some prior relationship to this vision? But I remember everything else. How could I not remember someone as enchanting as she?"

As Brenda sobs harder her breathing is reduced to gasping heaves. Julia escorts Brenda out of the room as she begins to moan, "Julia! I've lost him. I love him Julia and I've lost him. He thinks I'm a child. What am I going to do?"

"Shh, Brenda calm down. Maybe this is only temporary. I saw you together on Fiji, he could never forget you. Don't worry everything is going to be all right. Shh, breathe Brenda, breathe. I'm here for you. Calm down."

Jax sees Brenda hunched over as if in pain as the door finally shuts leaving the picture of her misery in his mind. He closed his eyes hoping that it would remove that sight from his mind, but it only intensified the reality. Why would she care so much about him not remembering her? She had shouted out that she loved Sonny. So why the histrionics over losing him? He regretted being part of anything that caused her so much sadness. She looked so enchanting in that tight fitting outfit with her ponytail pulling her hair up away from her face. He had wanted to place his lips on her neck to taste what he was sure would be a delectable meal. He opened his eyes trying to remove his imagined sights of Brenda from his mind.

Jerry looked at the expressions that had run over Jax's face from the moment that Julia had taken Brenda from the room. He placed both hands on his hips at waiting for Jax to open his eyes. His face was so easy to read. Jax could never keep anything from secret from him. Jax was the golden one, the honest one. That's why it was always his job to perform the dirty work of J&J Jacks. Dad never wanted Jax's hands to get dirty. He was too good for that. As Jax's eyes opened they appeared to be lost in thought. As they refocused on his surroundings, they soon looked in his direction.

"That was horrible to watch Jer. Brenda seemed so upset. Lucky that Julia was here for her. Like you're here for me." They exchange a quick brotherly hug.

"You know you can always count on me Jax." He resumes his stance, placing his hands on his hips.

Jax looks down at his hands, feeling a little uncomfortable with Jerry's probing eyes. Struggling for something to say he teasingly says, "I hope my circumstances didn't interrupt you -- -- chatting with Julia tonight Jer. I know you had high hopes for tonight."

Jerry's eyes narrowed, "I knew it! I knew it! As sure as I know I'm the handsomer Jacks, you're faking! You know EXACTLY who Brenda is! And you remember every blissful second that you -- - chatted with Brenda last year. What I don't know .. .. .. is WHY?" Jerry sits at the edge of his bed, "I've got plenty of time little brother, so why don't you tell Jerry everything. I'll help you if I can, if this is really what you want. Even if this blows my chance of ever having Julia in the way you've had Brenda. We're brothers Jax, and blood come first, even if Julia is the most enchanting morsel that has ever passed under my nose. So why are you twisting little Brenda's heart into knots, and how can I help?"

~ to be continued ~