| Farscape has so many wonderful quotes, I just thought I'd collect some of my favorites here. No, this isn't a very original fan site thing, but other people do that sort of thing much better than me. You want original fan stuff, go to the sites listed below, or to Farscape World, The Scapers Sanctuary, A Snurcher's Guide to Farscape, or Crichtonisms.com. Most of the quotes here were collected with help from the transcripts available at Ally's and Shrift's. All the pics were snurched from Farscape Fantasy and BritAngie's Ben Browder Corner. :) |
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| Zhaan: Pilot, does Moya know where we are? Pilot: Yes, of course. We're . . . someplace else. I'll . . . get back to you on the specifics. click to listen to the WAV file **** Crichton: Don't move! Or I'll fill you full of . . . little yellow bolts of light . . . **** Crichton: Works just like a VCR. 'Cept easier. **** Crichton: You'll be happy to know we have a plan. Chiana: I'll be happy to know if it works **** Crichton: Well, it's a Jerry Springer kind of family. But for what it's worth, Zhaan . . . you are family. **** Crichton: Hey, D'Argo . . . how come I'm not afraid? D'Argo: Fear accompanies the possibility of death. Calm shepherds its certainty. **** Crichton: (holding up a drink) Hey yo, 'Heavy D'! Hey man, have you tried one of these things? They're terrible, but once you get past the blue slime . . . underneath . . . pure aviation fuel! **** D'Argo: Oh, come on -- crack a smile will you? At least he's out of your nose. Crichton: (flatly correcting) Hair. D'Argo: That's what I meant, at least he's out of your nose hair. **** Crichton: Have we sent the "don't shoot us, we're pathetic" transmission yet? **** Harvey: Your capacity for self-delusionment astounds even me! And I live in your curdled brain! **** Crichton: How the hell can we have the only gun on the planet that doesn't work?! Aeryn: It's your fault. Crichton: My fault?! Aeryn: Well, you know if I was here on my own, it'd be working right now. **** Chiana: Do you know any good jokes? Crichton: Not besides the one I'm living. **** Rygel: I never run away. I . . . strategically maneuver. **** D'Argo: One...two...fire! Crichton: Hey, what happened to three? **** Aeryn: I wonder if I've got any grenades left. Chiana: She was kidding . . . right? Tell me that she was kidding. Crichton: Well . . . with Aeryn . . . you never know. **** Crichton: I don't think Pilot's in a 'Leviathans for Dummies' kind of mood right now. **** (After a wormhole has failed to appear as predicted) Sikozu: Do you know what you did wrong? Crichton: You mean other than getting up this morning? **** Sikozu: You defy the whole theory of natural selection. **** Crichton: Thanks for watching my backside. Aeryn: Couldn't help myself. **** Crichton: What is it with Peacekeepers? First they hunt us, then they want to move in? What are we, a bed and breakfast? We have a sign outside that says, 'Free HBO'? **** Stark: I know a Delvian chant that is very calming in times of stress. (Chanting) Say it with me . . . (chanting) Rygel: Stop it, you lunatic! Get it through what's left of that head of yours that this is serious! **** Crichton: Sorry to screw up your life again. Aeryn: Yeah, as long as you know it's all your fault. **** Crais: What can you see?! Stark: Damage, damage, damage. Crais: Whatever would I do without your verbal gifts? Stark: Oh, you want more words? Well, the conduits are damaged, bulkheads damaged, external sensors damaged too! There is nothing that is not damaged. Crais: Least of all you! **** Pilot: (on humans) You have no special abilities. You're not particularly smart, can hardly smell, can barely see, and you're not even vaguely physically or spiritually imposing. Is there anything you do well? Crichton: Watch football. **** Jool: This place smells horrible. Chiana: Guaranteed by your arrival. **** Crichton: I hate it when villains quote Shakespeare. **** Stark: (chanting non-stop) Crais: He said help me, you idiot! Not chant me over to the other side! **** Crichton: It's going to be harder to doubt you in the future. Aeryn: I apologize for my strengths. **** Zhaan: I've always wondered what could be beyond height and width, depth and time. Crichton: Nausea. **** (Okay, this one is long, but it's really funny. Actually, reading it doesn't quite do it justice, it's even funnier with the background music in the scene, but here it is anyway, directly from the "Scratch 'N Sniff" episode transcript at Ally's) Crichton: . . . he's kicking us off Moya 'cause we argue. D'Argo: He's kicking us off Moya because you argue. Crichton: No, we argue. D'Argo: You argue! Crichton: We! You-- D'Argo: You argue. Crichton: You, you, we, ah! They turn and walk slowly toward the door. Crichton: We argue -- you would argue with a lamp post! D'Argo: I do not -- open the door. Crichton: You open it. D'Argo: You open the door! Crichton: What, you're a girl, I'm gonna open the door for you? Open the door! CUT TO - STOCK CGI, Ext. Space. Moya drifts away in the shot while, O.V., the guys continue to argue. D'Argo: I-I'm older than you, show some respect! You open the door. Crichton: You can open it -- I'm not openin' the door. D'Argo: I'm not openin' no door -- you open it. FADE TO BLACK Disclaimer: Do I need one of these? Well I'll put one here just in case. All things Farscape belong to the Jim Henson Company and the Sci Fi Channel (unfortunately) and all the lovely talented people who make it what it is. I am not one of them. *sniff* So don't sue; I have no money. And again, all piccies were snurched (see above). |
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