March 15 ****** Some strange things have been happening and I thought that if I wrote them down I might be able to make some sense of them.
......You know how you get the feeling sometimes that there's someone watching you? Well that's how I've been feeling lately. And then there's the music.Let me explain.
......It all started shortly after I decided that it might be nice to walk to work now that the warm weather is here. Well, to be honest , that's not exactly true.....I got on the scales and decided that walking to work couldn't hurt!!! Anyway, a couple of weeks ago , I crossed the street one light sooner than usual 'cause they've been planting a new garden at the old fair grounds and I wanted to see what they were putting in there. Well, as I passed the gates I felt this stare and looked around but there wasn't anybody nearby. Never thought about it again until it happened a couple of days later.
...... Now, I couldn't remember that happening when I walked on the other side of the street, so I tried it both ways over the next week and guess what.....it only happens on the fair ground side. And not every day either, which is stranger yet.
....... And here's another strange thing.....sometimes I can hear fiddle music. You know.....as opposed to violin music.....which is the same only different. Well you know what I mean. So.....I have this plan to see if any one can hear and feel the same things. I'm going to get Carol to stay over night and walk to work with me and see what happens.
March 18****** Well.....that didn't work!! Or maybe it did . Either way....Carol never felt or heard anything at all and I'm sure she thinks I should sign myself into the Nichols Wing. That's the local hospital wing for those who are loosing it or have already lost it. Maybe she's right and I'll fit right in.
March 21******* We got frost last night and everything looks like wonderland around here. Makes me think of a poem I learned in grade school. Have no idea who wrote it now,but I always liked it. It goes something like this....
Isn't that a pretty thing? Funny how you remember some things and forget others.
March 24 ******* I was going to write about what happened today,but I don't really want to think about it just yet,never mind actually putting it into words.........
March 31******Since my last entry, I've been to see the Dr. and gone to the library. Well..... according to the Dr.; my health is good......no sign of dementia at least!!! Blood pressure is a little high, but that's to be expected. I mean it isn't every day that a person sees things that aren't there!!!
......The library had some interesting facts about the history of this town, too, that ties in to the right time of year. So this is what happened.......I think!!!
......There's a kind of heat wave effect where the air seems to shimmer and you think you see things that aren't there. Mirages,they're called. Anyway.....I saw one and there were gypsies in it!!!!!!
.......Yah....right....It isn't the sort of thing you go around telling people,is it? That's why the journal. I want to get all my facts (facts!!!!??????) straight before letting people know what's been going on. Like, who am I going to tell??? Carol is my best friend, and she'll be very understanding, but maybe I won't see much of her after that. My sister,Jill, would believe me, but she'll want to see for herself, and I'm not ready to show anyone yet.That's if they could see it anyway......Carol couldn't.
...... My Dad always told me to be eccentric all my life, so that when I got old and really was; no one would notice!! Good words of advice under the circumstances!! Will continue this later.......I've got more reading to do.
April 2******* According to the news articles, a band of honest to goodness gypsies did actually camp here in 1909. If I hadn't been in such a fluster the other day, it would have been nice to look long enough to get a few details that I could match up to the articles. But who was thinking of that at the time??? I mean .....what did I even see??? And would I be as scared the next time......assuming that there is actually a next time.
April 6 ******* How terribly disappointing!!!! Nothing has happened for days.......I wonder if they are gone. According to the news articles, they were here for quite a while until they were forced to leave. People were afraid of them and eventually drove them on.
Wouldn't you just know that when something really interesting happens in my life I get into such a flap that I make a mess of the whole thing.
April 10******* For the next couple of weeks I am on the night shift at work. I am debating whether to walk home at night to see if there is anything there. I mean......who would be around at 2am? Am I a complete nutter?????
April 13****** For three days......nothing; and then last night I decided to give it one last try. As I neared the gates of the grounds, I noticed that some kids had set fire to the little kiosk just inside the gates and was on my way to call for the fire department, when I saw that the fire was actually where the kiosk should be.... but wasn't. I crept through the gate and stepped into a little alcove between the gate pillar and the fence to have a look around. That's when I saw him......or rather them.
Sitting facing me from across the fire was a man and the biggest, ugliest dog I had ever seen. The man was doing something with his hands......carving, I think, but I was more interested in the dog. I think it was a lurcher. I have read about them but never seen one and if this was in fact, a lurcher, it was truly something to see. They are reputed to be very big, very fast, very fierce and very loyal. This one was a shaggy creature and quite magnificent. I am not sure, but think they are a cross between a wolf hound and a mastiff...both very large and fierce in their own right.... bred for hunting and used by poachers in England.
I must have made some noise or moved because with the sensitivity of a wild animal, the dog lifted his head and stared right at me. He gave a bit of a gruff that I heard quite clearly and with that, the man looked up and for a couple of minutes we just stared at each other. Neither of us moved.....me at least, from sheer fright. And then he stood up and placed his hand on the dog's head and said softly..."Hello Blossom" and like a complete idiot, I turned to see if there was someone standing behind me.
How could he possibly know that name!!! It's the one I use on the internet and I am fairly confident that this man had never heard of the internet!!! It did however break the ice..so to speak.. and I managed to say "hello" back and then my legs gave in and I just sat down right there in the dust. At that, the dog bounded over and sat down right beside me and without thinking, I put my arm around his neck.
The man....who, by the way, I was starting to notice was rather nice looking......made to come over, but stopped and said "Aren't you afraid of him?"..to which I managed to reply....."NO....he's yours."
I was going to ask his name.....but didn't. I was going to ask what made him call me Blossom.....but didn't.Instead I asked what he called the dog.....Badger..he said.He made no move to come closer and I scrambled to my feet, holding onto the dog's thick fur. I muttered something about having to go and turned to run. "Will you come back?" I paused and looked back and whispered.."Yes".
And all the way home I wondered what on earth I was thinking. I looked back once, but could see no sign of his fire. Maybe I had dreamed the whole thing. Can't you just picture the conversation at work!!! "What did you do last night?" "Oh, nothing.....just went back to 1909 and met this guy." RIGHT!!!!!
April 20......Much against my better judgement, my curiosity got the better of me and I did go back. After a couple of nights, I got used to the feeling of pushing through a mass of cobwebs as I entered the circle of fire light, and no longer reached up to claw them away. For some reason, the dog,Badger,is always waiting just at the edge near the gate and escorts me to the fire . Rennie (I finally asked his name)is both amazed and amused by the dog's actions. Apparently he has never acted this way before and most people are afraid of him. Well, he is a little fierce, but I grew up with big dogs and it never occurred to me to be afraid of him.
We are both very interested in each other's culture and time and I find we rarely talk about personal things. I am surprised that Rennie never questions the fact that I am from his future and I find it difficult to remember that I am in MY past. From time to time, people from the circle of wagons a little distance off, passed by the fire and glanced our way, but never stopped to talk. I expect they assume that Rennie is dallying with a lady of questionable reputation from the town. Well,technically, I am from the town and meeting a strange man at night, certainly makes my reputation questionable. Heaven knows that the Roma are the main attraction in town at the moment. The women are having a hard time going about their daily tasks of looking after their families with most of the population of the town coming to gawk at them.
April 22......I find that I am thinking more and more often of Rennie, and in that direction lies danger. I am thinking lots of things that are probably better left unthought. There are some people born before their time....like Rennie.... and they are called visionaries. Their ideas are often scoffed at and they are often ridiculed,but they are the inventors and creators that make the world change. And there are people who are born too late......like me.......and they are lost. We go through life searching for the part that is missing and if we are lucky enough to find it, it is often too late. In this case a hundred years too late. Yes......in that direction lies great danger.
April 25.....Last night was glorious and awful. We were sitting by the fire as usual with Badger leaning against my knee. I have no idea why he feels the need to have me prop him up....goodness knows he is plenty big enough to sit by himself. At any rate, a young woman walked by and stopped to stare at me and the dog, and then completely ignoring us said to Rennie...."What's the matter with him?"......and Rennie said..."He likes her".......and she said...."Then this is the place.....She's the one?".....and Rennie nodded.....and she said...."We leave tomorrow.....we've been here too long." And that was the awful part.
Well, neither of us said a word. Of course I knew that the Roma had moved on......I knew that from the newspaper articles that I had read, but it had conveniently slipped my mind. Then he asked,simply and quietly..."Will you come?" and that was the glorious part. I just looked at him for a bit......how could I possibly??? My whole life is here.....there. Home....family....friends.... work....everything. Everything but Rennie. I whispered...."I can't" and I knew he would not beg. And that was the awful part again.
So.......this morning, on the way to work I stopped, and they were leaving. Everything was all packed up and everyone was moving off across the field. As I stood there Rennie walked up leading his horse. We stood there looking at each other and he said again.."Will you come." Not a question this time.....a simple statement. Around the giant lump in my throat,I managed to croak..."I can't." One last look, and he got on the horse and rode away and didn't look back. Badger looked back once and whined. And I stood there, and watched my heart ride away.
