Return to Bermudas Index
by capri1228
When they were shot out of the wormhole, it took John a moment to get control of the ship. He took Aeryn’s helmet off and checked her. She seemed to be stable. He pulled his com out.
John: “Here goes nothing, Baby. Pilot? This is John can you read me.”
There was nothing but space and stars.
John: “Pilot? D’Argo, Chiana, can anybody read me?”
Still silence. John touched Aeryn’s cheek. She was getting warmer. Her core temperature was rising. He smiled.
John: “Come back to me, Baby.”
John cradled her head. He took his helmet off and leaned his head back. He was exhausted.
John: “I will just close my eyes for a microt then try Pilot again.”
His eyes closed slowly.
John didn’t know how long he was out but he was awakened by the sound of D’Argo’s voice over his com. He lifted his head up slowly.
John: “D’Argo?”
D’Argo: “John, are you and Aeryn all right? Moya picked up your ship on her scanner about three arns ago but we just got into com range.”
John looked down at Aeryn. He checked her breathing. It was relaxed and steady. She was sleeping off the effects of the drug.
John: “We are fine. How soon can you guys bring us abroad?”
Pilot: “Moya will release her docking web in less then 100 microts.”
John smiled. He leaned down and kissed Aeryn softly on the forehead.
John: “We are home, baby! We are home.”
John looked out the window. Seeing Moya’s massive frame felt like the first time he saw the “real” Earth at the end of the wormhole. The web caught them and shook the ship slightly.
John: “Nice catch guys.”
Moya pulled the module abroad. D’Argo helped John take Aeryn out of the module. He brought her to the med chamber so that Zhann could check her over and make sure she really was okay. D’Argo and John stood off to the side while Zhann examined her. Chiana and Rygel came in. Chiana grabbed John around the neck.
Chiana: “Welcome back! How was it?”
Before Crichton could say anything Zhann let out a gasp at the sight of the bruises on Aeryn’s arms, hand, and torso when the flight suit was removed. D’Argo looked at him with anger in his eyes.
Zhann: “By the goddess, what has happened to her?”
She looked at John.
D’Argo: “What in the hezzmana happened in your home world?”
John walked over to the table where Aeryn was lying. He softly stroked her silky hair.
John: “Lets just say until those humans become more advanced in their thinking, Aeryn and I can never make a future together there.”
Zhann finished examining her. She seemed fine but she wouldn’t really know until Aeryn woke up. John explained about the shot that Alex gave her to simulate death and the fact that Aeryn wasn’t sleeping or eating. Zhann said for all of them to go and just let her rest and she would let them know when she was awake.
******
John got showered and changed into his trademark black leather pants, black t-shirt and vast. He picked up Winonna.
John: “Now this feels familiar.”
He stuck his gun in his holster. He tapped his com.
John: “Zhann, how is Aeryn? Is there any sign that she is waking up yet?”
Zhann: “Not yet John. She is resting more comfortably. She should wake soon. I will inform you.”
John: “Thanks Zhann.”
D’Argo went to command to relieve Chiana and found John there. He was sitting in command just staring into space.
D’Argo: “John? What are you doing here? I thought you would be resting or in the med chamber.”
John: “Hey ‘D’.”
He said without looking back at D’Argo. D’Argo went over and stood beside him. D’Argo sighed and lowered his eyes.
D’Argo: “It was the ‘false’ Earth scenario come true, wasn’t it?”
John: “Worse.”
D’Argo: “Aeryn will be all right. Her peacekeeper training put her through worse than this.”
John: “I betrayed her. When she needed me the most, I let her down.”
D’Argo: “Are you talking about her injuries?”
John: “Not her physical ones.”
John lowered his eyes. He just started talking.
John: “Do you remember when I told you about the woman I loved back on Earth?”
D’Argo: “Yes, when I told you of Lolann and Jothee.”
John: “She was my first real love. There is something so powerful about your first love.”
He looked up at D’Argo.
D’Argo: “What does this have to do with what happened down there?”
John: “She was the lead researcher in charge of …”
D’Argo: “Aeryn?!”
John: “Yes but if it wasn’t for her, I don’t think Aeryn would have left there alive.”
John looked out at the stars.
D’Argo: “What about her?”
John: “I don’t know what it was. Seeing her again after all this time or just being back on Earth with so many possibilities laid out in front of me…(long pause) we were…together.”
D’Argo: “Together?”
John: “In the physical sense.”
D’Argo: “Oh, I see. And you told Aeryn?”
John: “Not exactly but she found out. What is worse is while I was with Alex one of the guards had tried to assault Aeryn and she went into peacekeeper mode. Alex and I were together when the guards came to tell me.”
D’Argo looked out of the view screen.
D’Argo: “I see.”
John: “How am I going to make this up to her? If it wasn’t for me showing off and creating that wormhole, none of this would have happened.”
D’Argo: “It sounds like you have given up a great deal to bring Aeryn back to Moya. May be that will be enough.”
John: “What do you mean?”
D’Argo: “You were home. Back on your home world and you walked away from that not knowing if you could ever return.”
John: “Aeryn is my home, D’Argo. If I didn’t realize that before, I realize it now. I only hope it is not too late.”
John had a melancholy look in his eyes. He was searching for reassurance/advice on what to do. D’Argo looked at him.
D’Argo: “I don’t have any advice my friend. This is something you and Aeryn are going to have to work out yourselves. But let me say this, Aeryn is one of the strongest people I know. I respect her as a warrior and as a woman, which is not easy for a Luxan to say about a peacekeeper. She will put this behind her eventually.”
John: “I know she will. I just don’t want to lose what we were beginning to build in the process.”
Zhann’s voice came over the com.
Zhann: “John, Aeryn is starting to awaken.”
John looked at D’Argo. He tapped his chest. They left command together.
*****
Aeryn was lying on the table with Chiana and Rygel buzzing around her. John and D’Argo appeared in the door. She looked over and saw him there.
John smiled slightly.
John: “Hey.”
D’Argo: “Chiana, Rygel, Zhann out. Let them talk.”
Chiana: “Oh frell! I wanted to hear about what happened.”
John: “Another time Chiana.”
Chiana: “Promise?”
John didn’t respond. His eyes never left Aeryn. Chiana walked out passed D’Argo. Rygel flew his throne sled over to Aeryn.
Rygel: “I am glad you are back but keep in mind I wasn’t expecting you back so if anything is missing…”
D’Argo pulled his throne sled away from the table.
D’Argo: “The rectal eminence will return everything he stole.”
D’Argo looked down at Aeryn. He laid his hand on her shoulder and smiled down at her. She smiled slightly. He left with Rygel. Zhann stood beside Aeryn.
Zhann: “She still needs plenty of rest John.”
John: “I know. I won’t stay long.”
Zhann left. John stood across the room near the entrance to the med chamber.
Aeryn: (speaking softly) “Thank you for getting me back to Moya.”
John smiled slightly. He walked toward her.
John: “How are you feeling?”
Aeryn: “Drained, what did she give me?”
John: “Something similar to your kill shot.”
Aeryn looked up at the ceiling.
Aeryn: “Oh.”
John stared at her for a microt.
John: “Aeryn, I think we need to talk about what happened on my home planet.”
Aeryn: “What for?”
John: “To clear the air between us.”
She looked at him. Her eyebrows crinkled in confusion at his terminology.
Aeryn: “My air is clear.”
John: “Aeryn, I want to explain about Alex and what happened between us.”
He turned away from her and started talking about his past with Alex. When he turned back to Aeryn her eyes were closed.
John: “Aeryn?”
He leaned over her. She was sound asleep. He gently kissed her forehead.
John: “Another time.”
*****
It took a couple of solar days for Aeryn to get back on her feet 100% however she wasn’t sleeping very well. Although she was not prone to dreams, her experiences on John’s Earth had left her with some terrifying night visions (as she called them). She would often find herself patrolling the corridors during the sleep period.
John was working on his module in the maintenance bay when Pilot’s image appeared in the clamshell.
Pilot: “Commander Crichton, may we speak in private?”
John stuck his head up out of his module and looked around the bay.
John: “I am alone Pilot.”
Pilot: “Would you mind turning off your com?”
John hit his com.
John: “Is there a problem?”
Pilot: “Officer Su….Aeryn seems to be having some difficulties.”
John: “Is she all right? Where is she?”
John started to climb out of his module.
Pilot: “I hear her during the sleep period crying out as if she were in pain and then she spends the rest of the time roaming around Moya’s corridors with her pulse pistol. I have the DRDs watching over her.”
John: “I am not surprised. She won’t even talk about what happened while we were on Earth.”
Pilot: “I was hoping since it is an experience that you both shared may be you would be able to help her.”
John: “I will talk to her Pilot.”
Pilot: “Thank you Commander Crichton.”
John: “Where is she now Pilot?”
Pilot: “I show her on the terrace.”
John climbed down out of his module and headed to the terrace.
Aeryn was standing at the edge of the terrace with her hands behind her back and her fingers interlocked. She was so lost in her own thoughts she didn’t hear Crichton when he called out her name.
John: “Aeryn?”
He touched her shoulder. She reacted by pulling her pulse pistol. John threw his hands up.
John: “Whoa! Whoa! Aeryn, it is me, John.”
She lowered her weapon.
Aeryn: (angrily) “Don’t sneak up on me like that Crichton.”
She holstered her pistol.
John: “I didn’t sneak. I called your name twice before I touched you.”
She turned back towards the stars.
John: “What is going on with you Aeryn?”
Aeryn: “Nothing. I’m fine.”
She turned to leave. He grabbed her arm.
John: “That may work on Pilot but I think I know you better than that. You can’t go through what you did down on that planet and not be scarred from it.”
She pulled her arm away from him.
Aeryn: “Of course I have scars. You have seen them.”
John: “No, no, no not physical scars. Mental scars.”
Aeryn: “Mental, what?”
John: “Are you having bad dreams?”
She looked away from him.
John: “Is that why you are patrolling Moya at night with your pulse pistol?”
She lowered her eyes.
John: “Aeryn, talking does help you know.”
Aeryn: “I am handling it Crichton. I just need to be left alone.”
She turned on her heels and stormed off the terrace in her usual peacekeeper stomp.
John: “Like hell you are.”
*****
The next couple of weeknens there was palpable tension between Aeryn and Crichton. When they spoke it was only about Moya or in a business-like tone. Aeryn was irritable and short with just about everyone. She was isolating herself from the crew at every possible opportunity. Zhann and D’Argo both have tried to talk to her but she just cuts them off with her patented, “I’m fine,” and walks away.
D’Argo and John were in command running a check on the commerce planet they were approaching to make sure it was safe to go down and get much needed supplies. Pilot’s image appeared in the clamshell.
Pilot: “Commander Crichton, Ka D’Argo, I thought I should inform you that Officer Sun has left Moya.”
John: “What? Where did she go?”
Pilot: “She has switched off her com but according to Moya’s sensors her ship is heading down to the planet.”
John looked at D’Argo then back at Pilot.
D’Argo: “Pilot has Moya completed her scan of the planet?”
Pilot: “It is apparently just as it appears. A regular commerce planet.”
D’Argo: “Fine have the DRDs prepare a transport. We better go down and get her.”
John: “No ‘D’. You take Chiana and Rygel and get the supplies. I will get Aeryn.”
D’Argo: “Are you sure? She has hardly said a handful of words to you.”
John: “She is angry about what happened to her on Earth and she thinks by pushing me away it will help what she is feeling. I am not going to let her get away with that. I will ride down with you guys and come back with Aeryn.”
D’Argo: “Okay. Rygel, Chiana meet me in docking bay 4. We are going down to the planet for supplies.”
D’Argo and John headed out of command.
John: “Pilot keep trying to track Aeryn. Zhann, you have command.”
Zhann: “I am heading there now John. Com me when you find Aeryn.”
The four of them left Moya in the transport. Pilot was able to plot the trajectory of Aeryn’s ship and program into the transport pod so they could land close to where she did.
When they landed Chiana spotted Aeryn’s prowler about 1000 metras from where they landed.
Rygel: “How are you going to find Aeryn in a city of this size?”
John: “I know Aeryn almost as well as I know myself. I will find her. You guys just get the supplies. I will meet you back on Moya.”
Chiana: “Are you sure you don’t want us to wait for you old man encase Aeryn doesn’t want company?”
John: “Don’t worry. We will be fine.”
D’Argo: “Com us if you run into trouble.”
John: “I will.”
Pilot: “Commander Crichton, I just received a message from Officer Sun. She wanted to inform me that she was going to be staying on the surface for a couple of days.”
The four of them looked at each other.
John: “Pilot, were you able to track her while she had her com activated?”
Pilot: “Yes. She is at a structure in the middle of the city. It appears to be lodging of some sort.”
John: “Thank you.”
John looked at D’Argo.
John: “This is going to take longer than I thought. You guys get the stuff and we will be up there soon.”
D’Argo: “Aeryn obviously has some things to workout. May be you should…”
John: “Should what? Let her sit in some seedy hotel/motel and let the demons roaming around in her head tear her apart from the inside out. She needs to deal with what happened to her, to us.”
Rygel: “What makes you think you can help her Crichton? May be you are part of the problem.”
John: “I am the only one Buckwheat because I was there.”
Chiana: “May be D’Argo is right. Not everyone needs to talk his or her feelings out like you do. May be she just needs the time alone.”
John: “I will meet you guys back on Moya.”
John swiftly walked away.
D’Argo: “Zhann, we will be staying in orbit around this planet for a few days.”
Zhann: “Pilot told me of Aeryn’s message.”
D’Argo: “I hope John is right about this.”
Zhann: “When it comes to Aeryn, he usually is.”
*****
Aeryn was lying on the bed with her back to the door. Her mind was racing with so many thoughts that she couldn’t quiet it enough to allow her to sleep. There was a knock on the door.
Aeryn: (opening the door) “Look I told you I didn’t need…Crichton, what are you doing here?”
Her voice was tense.
Aeryn: “Pilot told you where I was.”
John: “Can I come in?”
Aeryn: “John, please…”
He cut her off and pushed his way into the room.
John: (looking around the dank room) “Nice digs.”
Aeryn kept her back to him holding the door ajar.
Aeryn: “John, I just need a little time by myself. I don’t think that is too much to ask.”
John: “Why do you always have to do this?”
Aeryn: “What?”
She turned to him.
John: “Why do you always push everyone away? Why do you always push me away?”
Aeryn: “Are you going to leave or do I have to?”
He stood there. She went over and grabbed her jacket off the chair and headed for the door. John got to the door first and closed it. He blocked her path.
Aeryn: (shouting) “Let me out Crichton or I am going to…”
John: (shouting louder) “Your going to what? You are so tired you can barely stand.”
She turned her back to him again.
Aeryn: “Why can’t you just leave me alone?”
John: “Why can’t you let me in? I can help you if you tell me what is going on with you. Tell me what the problem is?”
Aeryn: “I can’t.”
John: “Why?”
Aeryn: (looking over her shoulder at him) “Because you’re the problem!”
She looked into his eyes. He was staring at her.
John: “Me?”
Aeryn: “You don’t want to get into this right now Crichton. Just give me some time alone I will work this out in my own mind, in my own way.”
John: “No, Aeryn. Talk to me.”
She lowered her eyes and sat on the edge of the bed. John sat across from her in the chair.
Aeryn: “I don’t want to say anything that can’t be taken back later.”
John: “I am willing to risk it.”
She looked up at him.
Aeryn: “I will never belong anywhere. Not in the peacekeeper world and not in your world. I will never fit in anywhere.”
John: “That is not true. You fit in on Moya with our family.”
Aeryn: “What happens when you all go back to your own worlds? Then what?”
He was silent. She stood up and walked over to the window. She was staring out at the city.
John: “Tell me what you are feeling Aeryn.”
Aeryn: “Alone. More alone than I felt when I betrayed Valorek. More alone than when I thought I was going to die after Larraq stabbed me and more alone than I felt laying in that cell on your home world strapped to that table wishing for death to take me.”
John: “More alone than when you realized that I had recreated with Alex.”
Her shoulders slumped. She lowered her head and didn’t answer. John stood up and walked over to her.
John: “She was my first real love and being back on Earth….”
Aeryn: “I don’t want to hear this.”
She turned quickly and tried to move passed him. He grabbed her from behind in his arms. His mouth was pressed against her ear.
John: “No, no you are going to listen to me.”
She struggled against him. He wrapped his strong arms around her with her arms pinned underneath them.
John: “Alex was someone I cared about very much another lifetime ago. Being back on Earth surrounded by the life I loss when I went through that wormhole just brought it all back and I couldn’t stop myself from trying to recapture who I was before I became John Crichton, Buck Rogers of the Uncharted Territories. You said it yourself once, ‘It was nice if only for a moment to believe it was genuine and I could actually go back’.”
She stopped struggling. She laid her head back against his shoulder.
John: “If I could take back what that guard did to you and everything else that happened, I would in a heartbeat. You know I would but I can’t. All I can do is be here to hold you when you are scared and comfort you. Will you let me do that?”
Aeryn: “You should have stayed with her, John and made a home for yourself. A real life.”
John turned Aeryn around.
John: “Home is where the heart is. Alex will always have a special place in my heart but my heart belongs...”
She looked over her shoulder into his eyes.
John: “My heart is here.”
He stroked her smooth cheek with the back of his hand. Her eyes closed as she moved into his touch.
John: “Tell me what happened to you that night.”
Aeryn’s eyes opened. They stood there in silence.
John: “Aeryn?”
He took her hand. They sat down and talked for several arns.
******
John: “Zhann, D’Argo are you guys there?”
D’Argo: “John, we have been waiting to hear from you. Is everything all right? How is Aeryn?”
John: “She is going to be fine. We will be coming back to Moya in the morning.”
Zhann: “John.”
John: “It is okay Zhann. I will call you guys when we leave the planet.”
D’Argo: “Okay.”
John was sitting on the bed with a pillow between his back and the wall. Aeryn was curled up beside him. Her head was resting on his chest and her arm draped across his mid section. She was sleeping soundly for the first time since they returned to Moya. John was gently stroking her thick mane of hair. He softly kissed the top of her head.
John: “My heart belongs to you, Aeryn Sun.”
