After that we decide4d it would be good for us to walk away from the horrors of what would come ahead if we didn’t turn immediately. That didn’t happen.
Jane was addicted to something. The beer in her hand begged to differ as it had been quaffed with vigor and delight earler. I on the other hand knew it was going to come. The end. The very end. Where were we going? We were walking in the middle of nowhere.
The girl. David had his arms around her. I wondered why he’d been cheating on me right in front of my face, but the words just would not come out. My eyes simply took in the horrid view and the rabid smoke that wafted by. It was second hand because I didn’t have a filter handy. Jonathan always smoked. He was a chain smoker. His brother knew it, but didn’t want to tell anyone. His brother was one of those kids that would tell you a secret then run off has if he’d discovered something.
I needed a cigarette bad. David was down on his knees with her now and I wasn’t tryna watch that. Why would he do that right in front of my face? Did he not see me there? I was in the dark. We were out in the forest. There was a tent, but we didn’t know how to put it up. It wasn’t raining anymore, so it was fine not to be under anything. I looked at my watch to see it was 5:00 am. I wanted coffee to get the taste of cig yearning out of my system. Jane was wasted by then. I wondered what did it? The weed was gone two days ago. Maybe it was the alcohol. But she’d only had a cupla beers.
My god, david had an imagination with that girl. He was being so romantic and loving. Why wasn’t he like that with me? I wanted to ask Jane something. I wanted to ask her why she was under. Why she was gone. She was just gone. Jon finished his cigarette then ran off into the forest. His brother came to give me the rest of the cigarettes, telling me not to let Jon have anymore.
I asked him what was wrong with Jane, and why David was cheating on me with a girl right in my face. Jon’s brother didn’t know. He really didn’t know. He simply wrinkled his brow in thought…then passed out. He passed out because he was Asian. I think it was the Zen Buddhism.
Jon came back with fire wood. I gave him his cigs and took one. He said he was out of matches. He was skilled in lighting cigs with matches.
I suggested he build a fire from scratch. He said he’d rather go to sleep. Then he took a vine off a tree and began to tie it around places. I stopped watching because I lost interest. Jane moaned as if she were trying to come to. I wanted to slap her so she could wake up, but I was to out of it. David was making love to the girl with the blue shoes on. Why didn’t she take her shoes off? Why was he cheating on me right in front of my face. Where is Jon’s brother?
Jon hanged himself. I didn’t notice until I looked over and saw him hanging. I burped and took back the cigarettes. I really needed one now. It was too much at the moment. Coffee would have been better than cigarettes since cigarettes burn your throat. I asked David if he knew where I could get some coffee. He didn’t answer me, he was to busy being romantic with the other woman. I picked up a stone and smashed it on Jane’s head. That was an accident; I wanted to hit the man I thought loved me. Well…that was the end of Jane…so I took her blue shoes and began to run off with them. David chased me until he grabbed me and knocked me to the floor.
I looked up at him. “What the hell are you gunna do, cocksucker?’ He took the shoes and ran back to the dead girl and put them on her feet. I got up and walked over there. He sat beside her and I sat beside him.
“So she didn’t have it?” I asked.
“No,” he said. But he didn’t have to do all that to her. I was sstill kinda jealous even though he simply did it out of anger.
“We don’t have any money.” I said.
“I know, man.” He checked the pockets of the hanging man and found 14 dollars. That would be enough for a little more.
We lived off the stuff.
We didn’t need food.
Only weed and coffee.
