U want U and I

Can it be true? Can it be that Bill Clinton is really a sock puppet? Have the American people been fooled for eight years? Who is controlling him? Is it Hillary? Does this explain the true nature of him not inhaling? New studies have shown that the American populous may have been under the spell of whoever is behind the President. Is it true that Socks the cat is just code for the hand that controls Clinton's every move?

It was recently revealed to the American people that Bill Clinton had been diagnosed with Carcinoma, a form of skin cancer. It may be that Bill had instead a rip, reportedly he got this, "rip," from his recent trip to Ireland. It seems that there was a nail that snagged him -- it is also reported that the hand that controls him or code name: Socks the cat got a nasty cut, so nasty in fact that he needed a tetanus shot. Why, we must ask, did the news programs covering the inauguration have to mention that socks the cat stayed behind in Washington? Could it be that he has a secret agenda? Some say that he is a masonic leader who's guidance has been requested. So with, "socks," staying behind we must wonder what Clinton will do

In the past eight years we have seen a dramatic increase in the number on sock puppets on television. This increase has gone virtually unchecked by the Commerce Department. Could that just be a cover-up on the part of the Clintons, a political favor possibly. No one has said a word about the death of Cheiri Lewis, creator and puppeteer of Lambchop. Insiders speculate that Miss Lewis was a whistle blower that knew Clintons puppet master. Who is there to replace the loss of Miss Lewis? The pettopia.com dog -- a likely choice seeing as how he has been a staunch supporter of the liberal left for many years. Some say that he helped land Hillary her New York Senate seat.

Now that Clinton is ready to leave office we have witnessed a switch in the attitudes of Sock puppets. The introduction of, "Triumph The Insult Comic Dog," on, "Late Night with Conan O'Brian," was a transitioning for the new Comedy Central program, "TV Funhouse." TV Funhouse is a rather profane cartoon showcase by the creator of Triumph. A group of puppets and real animals that do different obscene things fill the space between cartoons that imitate classic cartoons and cartoon styles. Insiders say that this is so if Clintons secret gets revealed he can easily blame his behaviors on being a sock puppet.

What ever became of the dynamic duo Siffel and Ollie -- a group of rather conservative puppets who were promptly removed from MTV when there dirty little "anti union" secrets got to the teamsters. Our sources tell us that they have been black balled by the union and the future looks dim. Siffel has tried to find work in Canada, but even there he gets the cold shoulder. Chester, a regular guest on Siffel and Ollie says that Hollywood isn't being to nice to him either just from the association with the show. "I didn't even know Siffel and Ollie when I got the job," Chester informs, "My dad was a teamster and even that doesn't even matter."

What will American look like in the eye's of the rest of the world after this mess? Some speculate that this won't change the way we are viewed -- Ireland and the middle east are requesting Clinton's help and if they don't mind that he's a sock puppet then the American image will have nothing to fear. All we can do is wait it out and see what the rest of the world will think.