Mini Reviews
(because sometimes we get lazy and these movies weren't that great anyway)
This movie features one of the sweetest casts of any crappy movie.  Old vets such as Christopher Plummer and Margot Kidder.  Hot young stars such as Tatyana Ali (Fresh Prince) and James Duval (Independence Day: "Russell! That's the wrong field you idiot!").  Seven people get trapped in an opera house with a killer dressed as Pagliacci's clown killing them off slowly.  Other than the laughable cast and a sweet loss-of-innocence (virginity!) scene, it's pretty boring. 
2 Keanus for the cast to divvy up accordingly.