Summary: Unable to decide between making a shark movie or an alien movie, the makers of "Raging Sharks" took the novel approach of making both and saved us the misery of watching two crappy movies and combined them into one fairly awesome one.
Corin Nemec stars as Dr. Mike Olsen, who along with his wife Linda (she apparently did not get her doctorate) played by Vanessa Angel, are in charge of the underwater sea lab Oshona. The Oshona studies underwater seismic activities I'm told, but all it really succeeds in doing is having their mutinous crew bitch about the slow computers. The movie also co-stars Corbin Bernsen as a navy submarine commander.
Dr. Olsen decides he needs a break from his wife's poor acting and takes a vacation on the surface. I would not be surprised if he revealed he was looking for funding but frankly I was not paying close attention. He receives a disturbing phone call that will haunt his thoughts for the next several days: "the sharks are beginning to rage, sir" exclaims a lonely and underpaid naval callback center clerk.
In the first scene, we had seen two alien ships inexplicably collide in space, dropping their cold fusion payload into the Bermuda Triangle. This cold fusion core has created a magnetic field that has driven all sharks in the area into frenzy. First a mini-sub crew from the Oshona is attacked and killed, then the sharks cleverly sever the life support cables to the underwater lab. Although biting an electric cable kills the shark in "Jaws 2," we are chillingly reminded that sharks can adapt to anything.
So the sharks rage, killing dozens upon dozens of surfers, swimmers, well-wishers and one guy who retardedly stands on the pontoon of a plane. The scenes are very bloody and are strongly recommended for young viewers to desensitize them from real-life atrocities.
In a submarine rushing to help the Oshona are Dr. Olsen, Corbin Bernsen, a smug government agent and at least one jogger in a haz-mat suit. They park the sub near the station and Dr. Olsen braves the shark-filled waters to get to his wife. On board the Oshona, the smug government agent uses the panic-stricken time to question the inspection papers of the lab. Meanwhile, the mutinous crew with a confounding lack of self-preservation refuses to repair the outside of their ailing underwater home. Outside the sharks rage, inside the carbon dioxide rages.
They run some tests on some strange stones they found on the sea floor and discover that there is some sort of alien technology nearby. The government agent reveals that he is Special Ops or something and that he has really been sent to retrieve the cold fusion core for America (fuck yeah!). This starts a fight that leads to several unnecessary explosions and allows characters to heal from major injuries very quickly. The aliens swoop up the cold-fusion just before final explosion, condemning millions of Russians to another bitterly cold summer/winter.
The explosions destroy the Oshona, but somehow Dr. Olsen and his wife survive the explosion and are blasted to the surface. The government agent also survived and is eaten by a raging shark just before he can unjustifiably murder Dr. Olsen. The ending leaves a sour taste in the viewer's mouth like they just drank, um, never mind. |
