• Anything can be fixed in Post.
• Everyone has a DKE Derby scar.
• You can survive on four hours of sleep and a handful of Cheez-Its.
• Love is best professed in knee-context.
• 'Shitface' is an acceptable way of life.
• 'Hit her again!' is a staple after three frat beers.
• The word 'fuck' is totally cool, because it's totally controversial.
• Absolutely nothing happens unless classes are in session, therefore, bed.
• Once class is in session, it is easier to complain about it and stay in bed.
• Friendliness among suitemates is expressed in an open-door policy regarding the bathroom, even when it is in use.
• By 11:15 p.m., even one's mother is at the bar.
• Room & Board: $6,000. Laptop: $2,000. Pirated Media Downloads: Priceless.
• A subwoofer is best used when listening to the 1812 Overture.
• The best pickup line, to quote Brak:
  "tell him you're hot for him, baby, you're a pickled beet, you're red but not embarrassed, and go real good with meat"
• Film majors love talking in dutch angles.

Have a Kolige Lesson to add to the list? Email me.