Happy now, Gem? You ask, and this is what you get. This is just in time for Dee's birthday, which I'll not be around for on the 18th. You guys will have to send her many happy birthday greetings for me!

Disclaimer : I do not own any characters that are recognized by anyone. They belong to their own creators, which I can't be bothered to look up at the moment. Anything that's left is mine, which isn't a whole heck of alot. lol

Challenge :

-Must include at least one character from two different fandoms. More are

encouraged.

-A Mirror

-The line, "It didn't come with directions."

Mayhem in Jareth's Castle

Jareth paced the hallway, briefly picking up the familiar sounds of panic. “They think they’re so smart,” he muttered, crossing his arms across his chest. He had left his listians alone far too long and only now did it start to worry him. “What trouble could they possibly cause in such a short time?” he asked himself, shrugging the notion off with a laugh.

Following the snickers that echoed through his halls, Jareth’s eyes widened at the realization that they had taken over his room. Bursting through the door, his words were laced with anger. “What the bloody hell do you think-“ His words fell silent, his eyes taking in those in front of him.

“Hi de ho,” Kermit the Frog piped up, chipper as always.

“What. . .?” Jareth started, but couldn’t finish the question. Glancing around the room, he cursed his evil listians for the chaotic mess that he had walked into.

“Oh, Kingy,” Piggy called, gingerly waving her fingers at him. Staring at her reflection in the mirror, Piggy blew herself a kiss before turning around in her seat. “You’re collection is really grande.”

Jareth’s jaw dropped open. She’d helped herself to his best Mary Kay collection. When a hand pushed his mouth closed, Jareth looked down and groaned uneasily.

“Wanna hear a funny joke?” the cuddly bear asked, tipping his hat to Jareth.

“Not now, Fozzie,” Kermit waved him away. “So, when does this party start?” he asked politely.

“Party?”

“Yeah! The one your friends have been sending invites for all week,” Gonzo piped in, draping an arm around his beautiful Carmila.

“I’ll kill them,” Jareth grumbled, leaving the room just before a big crash. Cringing, he didn’t have the heart to look. Turning the corner, he came chest to chest with none other than the Phantom. A growl at his right hand caused him to jump.

“Nice place you have here,” he mentioned, looking up toward the ceiling and studying the architecture.

Jareth looked him up and down, his eyes taking in the tightness of the purple suit that snugly covered the man before him. Without thinking, he couldn’t help but ask, “How’s the mobility in such a tight getup?”

The Phantom smiled slightly, his dark eyes dancing behind the black mask. “Wouldn’t you like to know? I can only reveal my secrets to the one I intend on marrying,” he answered.

Jareth took a step back, holding his hands up in front of him to ward off the man. “I’m not marriage material.”

“Devil,” the Phantom spoke, the tone of his voice even, then continued, “if he moves, eat him.”

Devil growled.

Without hesitation, Jareth made himself scarce, disappearing in the blink of an eye. As he reappeared in another part of the castle, an odd sound filled his ears. ‘What was that?’ he wondered, shifting his attention. Peeking around the wooden door, his eyes narrowed. “I’m definitely going to kill them,” he grumbled softly, watching the toons making a mess of his castle. A prod in the back shot him up straight, getting his attention easily.

“Inside,” was all that was said.

“Now see here-“

“Button yer lip, skinny,” a weasel interrupted, pushing a gun in his face. “See, we’s here for a party, and we’s not leaving here without one.”

“I think there’s been some mistake,” Jareth responded, backing up into the other who just pushed him forward again.

“Hey, fellas! Anybody seen Jessica?” Roger Rabbit called out over the dull roar of the other toons. “Forget it, there she is! Jessica!”

“Roger, my little love bunny. Let’s go share a carrot cake,” she murmured, picking him up and carrying him off through the crowded room.

The weasels disappeared as quickly as they came, leaving Jareth staring at the collection of toons that could squeeze into a single room. Bugs Bunny harrassed Marvin in the corner while Daffy and Donald Duck dueled it out on a pair of pianos. Tweety Bird ran between Jareth’s boots, Sylvester hot on his trail only to knock Jareth from his feet.

Getting up, he brushed himself off, shaking his head. “Crazy toons,” he said, leaving the room quickly. “Now, if I were a meddling listian, where would I be?” he muttered beneath his breath, heading for the west wing of the castle.

A giant turtle on a skateboard went flying by. “Excuse me, Dude!” he called out, continuing on his way.

Jareth followed as best he could, though what he found didn’t ease his troubled mind. Four mutant turtles huddled around two hot boxes of pizza. “Who might you be?” he asked.

The turtles spun around, each drawing a weapon in defense. “Hey, Dudes! It’s the head dude,” Mikey pointed. “What’s up?”

“I suppose you’re here for the party as well?” Jareth asked, raising a stern brow.

“You got it. Anything wrong with that?” Raphael asked, crossing his arms.

“Hey, you’re the guy I buzzed in the hall,” Donatello stated, walking closer and shaking Jareth’s hand. “Sorry ‘bout that. You have some great floors in this place.”

“Yes,” Jareth said, slowly looking them over. “Do either of you young chaps know where a group of young women might be?”

“Yes,” Leonardo answered.

“But they told us not to tell you, Dude!” Mikey piped up. “They said not to tell the big haired dude.”

“Figures,” Jareth grumbled and left the room. As he was walking back down the hall, the last word he heard was the four of them shouting “Cowabunga!”

“What next?” Jareth asked no one in particular. Imagine his amazement at getting a response.

“Why you ask such a question?” Yoda answered. Scrunching his face, he looked up at Jareth towering above him. Before Jareth had a chance to step away, Yoda wacked him with his gimmer stick. “Where you need to be, that the question is.”

“You little rodent, how dare you poke a king?” Jareth shot back angrily. Forgetting that Yoda’s ally was the Force, Jareth found himself suspended in mid-air, nothing around to grab on to. “Let me down!” he commanded, feeling his tights riding up. “Alright, you’re not a rodent. Let me down,” he added as calmly as he could.

Yoda smirked. “How know you who I am. Size matters not,” Yoda replied, letting Jareth down rather suddenly.

“You did that on purpose!” Jareth shrieked. He should have known not to trust a Jedi. A sudden enlightenment hit him. . . they could read minds as well. Looking Yoda over, he cringed slightly when he realized just what he had been thinking. Deciding it was best to go while the getting was good, Jareth turned on his heel and started in the other direction. Pausing slightly, he turned to regard the Jedi Master one last time. “I’ve heard size does matter,” he uttered, an evil smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Turning around, he continued on his way.

Ignoring all other sounds that happened upon his ears, Jareth glanced ahead to see a familiar form. “What the?” he started, knowing exactly who it was. “Where there is Skywalker, there is a listian!” he bellowed, taking up the pursuit. Rounding the corner, he stopped short, his eyes surveying the many bodies that were taking up space in his hall. Spying the Jedi far ahead, Jareth began pushing his way through.

After many growls, sneers and profane suggestions, Jareth was within arms’ reach of the Jedi when he was crashed into on the right. Snapping his head around, Jareth recognized the man right away. “Spike?” he questioned, looking around for any sign of Essy. It was a known fact that the evil sith would love the opportunity of meeting up with him.

“Watch it,” Spike sneered, pushing Jareth away from him. “Walk on your own feet, why don’t you?”

Catching sight of Luke once again, he returned to his pursuit, not wanting to lose the Jedi with a simple argument. Jareth nodded slightly and walked on, leaving the vampire behind him. “Where did they all come from?” he muttered angrily, the free space finally starting to shrink between bodies. As he entered the room, he scanned for some sight of his listians, only to find them all huddled in the corner and oblivious to everything around them.

Finally pushing through the crowd, he walked up behind them, his boots clicking on the stone floors. “What the hell are you up to now?” he asked angrily, his hands on his hips.

“Should we tell him?” Leelee asked, her voice barely audible over the commotion in the room.

“It is his castle,” Jade replied.

“Oh please, like he really uses it anyway,” Essy shot back. “I say we string him from the nearest pole and hog-tie Teddy before tossing him in the bog.”

“You’ll do no such thing!” he remarked wildly.

“Hiya, tightsboy! What’s shakin’ other than your package?” Lisa, the smut queen, remarked with a chuckle.

“Lisa!” he admonished.

“What? Come on, you know me by now, Jareth.” she shot back with a wicked smile.

“What is all the commotion for?” he asked, changing the subject.

“Shhhh!!!!!!” the listians vocalized.

“Don’t you shoosh me. What do you have in the corner?” he asked, pushing himself closer then jumping back quickly. “Are you all insane?”

The listians looked at one another then back to Jareth. “Nah!” they remarked and turned back to the situation at hand.

“Do you think she’ll like it?” Mel asked, cocking her head to the side as if it gave her a better view.

“Hells yes!” SQ answered quickly. “If she doesn’t, then I got dibbs!”

“Here she comes,” Gemma whispered, elbowing Jareth in the ribs.

“Hiya, guys. What’s up, wenches?” Dee asked, nearing the others and paying Jareth no attention.

“We got you a birthday present,” Kara chuckled.

“It didn’t come with directions,” Dawn added with a small laugh, then continued, “but I doubt you’ll need any.”

“What is it?” Dee asked, trying to see around them.

“Not what. . . who,” Amy smirked, moving to reveal James Bond, Alex Krycheck and Sting all bound and ready for her attention.

“Happy Birthday!” the entire room shouted, then broke out into song.

Dee squealed loudly, rushing the trio of men. “Thanks!”

“Looks like it went well,” Selah smiled, ducking as Raphael neared the location. Though she found him intriguing, she just didn’t believe in human/turtle dating.

“Yup, now let’s mingle ladies!” SQ shouted, heading out into the middle of the crowd to see who all she could see.

“But?” Jareth inquired, trying to stop them from leaving. To his disadvantage, they all disappeared into the crowd, leaving him standing there alone. “Figures,” he muttered. “Where’s Teddy when I need him?

The shameless hussy’s probably living it up with Ewoks for all I know.”

~End!