Title: The Full Jareth

Authors: Dee and Leelee

Summary: a reverse visitation in two parts

~~~

Part I, by Dee

"Are you sure we want to be doing this?" Dee whispered, as her eyes readjusted to the darkness all around her.

"Yes! I want to know what goes on after hours, when he's not harassing us Listians!" Princess whispered back with a giggle. "I imagine it's pretty twisted, come on. Look at all the crap that's in here!"

Dee grinned in appreciation, though she was utterly disgusted. As if she didn't already have enough blackmail. The closet was a mess, even aside from the garish rows of hanging lace, spandex and polyester. She had sat on a Ninja Turtle figurine, there were naked Barbie dolls everywhere, an anime movie with a knife sticking out of it and a rather sparkly g-string. Dee shuddered just thinking about it.

"Lisa, I am going to gag. I try to be in bed or online at this time of night, *avoiding* the royal pain in the ass. So why am I here?"

Dee only got a pat on the back and a grin. "Partner in crime, partner in crime."

"Wench", Dee mummbled but none the less peaked out the crack in the closet door.

Jareth walked into the room mumbling about canned peaches, and stopped before the mirror. He looked at his reflection and removed his pendant, and ran his fingers through his hair thoughtfuly. Locking eyes with his reflection, he smiled seductively and winked at himself.

Lisa found herself tackled to the ground by Dee to keep her from laughing.

Jareth didn't noticed, and looked off into the air for a moment before producing a crystal and placing it on the table. Music began to play in the backround and Dee had to put her hand over her mouth to stop herself from cracking up.

"Sittin' here, eatin' my heart out waitin'
waitin' for some lover to call
dialed about a thousand numbers lately
almost rang the phone off the wall"

Jareth began to move his hips, his body falling into motion. He ran his finger through his long blonde hair again, and turned around, all the while moving his hips more and more drasticaly. Never once did he lose eye contact with his mirror image.

"Lookin' for some hot stuff baby this evenin'
I need some hot stuff baby tonight
I want some hot stuff baby this evenin'
gotta have some hot stuff
gotta have some lovin' tonight
I need hot stuff
I want some hot stuff
I need hot stuff"

Hooking his thumbs at the V of his shirt, he ran them up and down the fabric before pulling it over his head and throwing it toward the mirror with a grin. Turning around he flexed his thighs at the mirror, and pelvic thrusted before turning his back on his reflection.

"Lookin' for a lover who needs another
don't want another night on my own
wanna share my love with a warm blooded lover
wanna bring a wild man back home"

Turning back to his reflection his sent a seductive look to himself as he scooped a policemans hat from off the table and placed it askew on his head.

"Gotta have some hot love baby this evenin'
I need some hot stuff baby tonight
I want some hot stuff baby this evenin'
gotta have some lovin'
got to have a love tonight
I need hot stuff
hot love
lookin' for hot love"

Winking once at himself he stopped, placed his hand on his hips, and with a tug, pulled his tights from his body. Dee and Lisa sheilded their eyes from the gleaming white, as the light reflected off of him.

"Hot, hot, hot, hot stuff
hot, hot, hot
hot, hot, hot, hot stuff
hot, hot, hot"

Jareth turned, running his hands down his chest to a shiny green thong but he never made it all the way down...

From the closet he heard two cases of shouting laughter, and watched in horror as Dee and Lisa fell out holding their sides in laughter. Amid the masses of Barbies, figurines, peach pits, naughty magazines and stuffed toys the two girls laughed, unable to even make fun of the horrified Goblin King.

Standing there, as the music cut off, the look of horror fell from Jareths face as quiet anger set in. He clenched his fists, and waited while the two tried to recover from their laughter. Dee was the first to regain any composure, as she stood up and crossed her arms over her blue work shirt, a smirk on her face.

Standing up, Lisa joined her ready to comment, when Jareth put his hand up for silence. "What do you two think you are doing?"

"Nothing," Dee sais with a sweet smile.

"Just paying you back," Princess countered as she tossed a Barbie shoe from off of her black shirt.

The Goblin King turned very red, and if not for his current state of undress, they might have taken him seriously. "Paying me back for what?! You are the ones always tormenting me. You two are the banes of my existance."

"Like Billy," Dee grinned. "And pennies," Lisa finished, both girls lapsing into chortles.

"*Dammit*. What have I done that has made me deserve this Karmic Bitch-Slap?" He put his hands on his hips, only emphasizing the very shiny thong.

"Let's call this a reverse visitation." Lisa smiled a smug smile, while Dee quietly removed her disposable poleroid camera from her pocket and snapped a pic. Fanning it, she leapt behind Lisa to keep him from getting it.

"Hey, woman," Dee called as she giggled at her new favorite picture.

"For the last time, WHAT?!" Jareth snapped.

"I know this movie you would love... it's called 'TheFull Monty'..."

Lisa grinned evily, "Or mayhaps even, 'Priscilla Queen of the Desert'..."

As Jareth lunged for their  throats they exercised their escape plan, intact with a very, very interesting photo.....

* * *

Part II, by Lisa

"He's going to kill us. He's going to kill us. He's going to -"

"Oh, shush, wench! He has to *find* us first!" Dee told her partner incrime.

Lisa silently contemplated that fact. She promptly changed her chant. "When he finds us, he's going to kill us. When he finds us, he's going to kill us . . ."

Dee sighed in annoyance and shifted to a new position, trying to find a comfortable way to crouch in the cramped closet. A Barbie doll was poking into her ass, and the stench of rotten peaches was making her decidedly ill.

"Tell me why we're back here again," Lisa whispered, shifted her weight and crinkling a Playgirl magazine.

"Coz he'd never think to look here for us. He's probably at one of our homes, right now, looking for us there," Dee replied, brushing a white polyestor evening gown away from her face.

"Oh. Smart idea, then, monkey."

"Thank you. I do try," Dee said with a smirk. She pulled out the Polaroid picture she'd snapped a scant thirty minutes ago and surpressed a chuckle. She'd caught the Goblin King with his pants down and his mouth open. He'd been wearing nothing but a police man's hat, a sparkly green thong, and his usual two pounds of makeup.

A sudden *thump* from the bedroom caused both girls to freeze in place and hold their breath. A minute later, a soft moan echoed towards them, and they heard Jareth mutter something about his dignity.

"He's back," Dee said quietly. "I think he's in his bed."

"Oh no," Lisa whispered, nervously clutching a red feather boa. "He's gonna moida us bums!"

"Shut up!"

Lisa bit her lip and tried hard to stay quiet, but after another minute of Jareth's self-lecture about listians and closet monsters, she cracked.

"What are we going to do?" she asked nervously.

"Wait until he's asleep, and then prop some of these naked blow-up dolls of his around him in his bed, and snap some more blackmail photos." Dee grinned evilly.

Lisa chortled softly. "Wicked."

Two hours later . . .

Jareth stood in front of his mirror once again. This time the music being played was "Sex and Candy" by Marcy Playground. It was a change of pace from the previous dance groove.

In the closet, Dee sighed impatiently, flipping through Jareth's dirty magazines. Lisa had a naked Barbie doll and a naked Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle action figure. She had named them 'Sarah' and 'Jareth' and was pretending that they were discussing Asian Philosophies, occasionally bitch-slapping each other and making out.

"Oh, oh, Jareth!" Barbie Sarah swooned, in a high-pitched voice.

"Oh, yes, Sarah!" Turtle Jareth replied, much lower. "I've got lots of dresses in my closet here, I'm sure that one will fit you just fine . . . What? What do you mean, 'why do I have so many articles of women's clothing on hand?' Why, I, uh, because -"

"Shh!" Dee put a finger to her lips. "Keep it *down*!"

"Eh, sorry, luv!" Turtle Jareth apologized, dancing in the air in front of Dee. She smacked him and he went flying right out of the closet. Both girls froze, terror clutching at their hearts. They glanced out the crack of the door to see Jareth turning around from the mirror. His eyes fell on the Ninja Turtle. He sighed and walked over it, picking it up. He stroked it lovingly.

"There, there, Rafael, I'll take care of you," Jareth whispered, rubbing the action figure fondly against his cheek. "Why don't we go make your favorite, hmmm? How does a banana split sound?" Jareth turned and walked out of his bedroom

In the closet, Dee and Lisa sighed in relief as one, then they grinned evilly.

"I'm outta here!" Dee called, and pushed open the door, dashing towards one of Jareth's crystals. "This'll get us home!"

"But what about more blackmail pictures?" Lisa asked, gazing in awe at Jareth's Bea Arthur Shrine. No matter how many times she saw it, the monstrosity appalled and disturbed her immensely. She suddered.

"Another time . . . say, tomorrow night?" Dee smirked, and wished herself away.

"Right on!" Lisa said, as she faded from view, still clutching Barbie Sarah.