Disclaimer : Jareth and anything associated with the Labyrinth belong solely to Jim Henson Productions. This was simply a poke at fun, to see if Jareth could make it as a ghostbuster. Ghostbusters are property of Columbia Pictures.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gemma looked out the window to watch the falling snow. Never getting much more than a light dusting, she appreciated it when she could. All too soon it would be gone, nothing left but this memory of watching it fall softly to the Earth.

“Gemma,” a voice behind her called, stealing the moment away.

Turning slowly, not really caring at the moment who dared interrupt her peacefulness, her eyes fell on the form of the Goblin King. His blonde hair wisping gently around his face, the stern look he was giving her could signify nothing but trouble.

“What?” she replied, her voice soft and calm as her eyes found the falling snow once again. Her eyes drifted slowly across the entrance to the park across the way, then to the wood off in the distance. Oh how pretty they look when it snows.

“I want to be a Ghostbuster,” he answered seriously.

Gemma laughed. “What? Are you completely mad?” she asked, her laughter growing as she turned to face him once again.

“What’s so funny?” he admonished.

Gemma gasped for air. She couldn’t believe that out of all his hair brained ideas, now he thought he was going to battle ghosts. Fanning her face, she tried to calm down, but when her eyes fell on him again, all she could do was laugh harder, just imaging him in a uniform.

“Gemma, I’ll have you know that I’m fit enough to be a Ghostbuster and shall be one of the best,” he stated indignantly.

“You’ve gone mental! You won’t even last a week,” she countered.

“Care to make a wager on that?” Jareth asked, his eyes raking over her.

“Yes, you’re going to die under the pressure Jareth,” she answered, chuckling from the thought of winning so easily.

“Fine,” Jareth replied, a grin crossing his face. “If I win, I get you..”

“Excuse me?” she replied hastily, placing her hands on her hips. “You, are certainly no Christian Bale. I’m not hopping into the sack with you on a bet,” she stated.

“Then I’ll take that lovely Christian Bale collection of yours,” he offered, a gleam in his eye. “It’s only fair. I win, your mind should be on me, not him. Out of sight, out of mind,” he grinned.

“Oh, alright. Since I know you can’t possibly last. But if I win, I want your pouch for a fortnight, the UGL members would sure love to pass it around. And you have to take A levels with me,” she stated, watching his look of shock turn to outrage.

“What?!” Jareth retorted, his voice nearing a shrill. “How dare you ask such a thing! I’m appalled by your thinking I have a pouch. I’m all natural, every inch of me.”

“Come on Jareth, it’s just a little wager. If you’re so sure you’ll win, where’s the harm?” she replied, a sweet, innocent smile crossing her lips.

“Deal,” Jareth conceded. “But keep in mind, if by some simple twist of fate you do actually win, you’ll have the whole thing, not just a pouch.”

“Yeah whatever,” she replied, snickering at what he was getting in to. “Better get going Jareth, don’t want to waste those precious minutes. Oh one more thing,” she said, her wicked mind thinking quickly, “leave me a crystal. I want to watch your progress.”

“Why? Don’t you trust me?” he asked, shocked.

“Um....no. So gimme and get your bum in gear,” she mentioned, waving her hand impatiently.

Jareth deposited a crystal in the palm of her hand and was gone in the blink of an eye.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Appearing on the streets of New York, Jareth grinned as he looked up at the building he would soon call home. The sign flashed with the reflection of the sun as he pushed the door open. His boots clicking across the stone of the garage, his eyes wandered across the surface of the Ecto as he drug his long fingers across the newly waxed surface.

“Can I help you?” a voice startled him. Standing in the door was a woman tapping her foot against the stone floor. “Sir, do you have an appointment?” she asked, looking over the top of her glasses at him.

“I’ve come to be a Ghostbuster,” he answered, puffing his chest out to make him look more dignified.

“Sure,” she replied. “Where do all these crazies come from?” she mumbled walking back inside.

Jareth followed her, to find her sitting behind a desk and answering the telephone. With the best smile he could offer, he waited patiently for her to finish her call. When she replaced the receiver, she sighed and Jareth swooped in for the kill.

“I’m Jareth,” he stated, extending a gloved hand to her.

“Janine,” she replied, looking over her glasses suspiciously again. Reading from a questionnaire as if for the hundredth time, she puts Jareth to the test. “Do you believe in U.F.O.'s, astral projection, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, full-trance mediums, telekinetic movement, black and/or white magic, pyramidology, the theory of Atlantis, the Loch Ness Monster, or in general in spooks, specters, wraiths, geists and ghosts?”

“Of course, would I be here if I didn’t?” he answered, thinking about how cool he was going to look in the Ghostbuster uniform.

“You’ll have to wait to talk to one of the guys. You can wait over there,” she pointed, and watched him walk away; eyeing the way his tights fit so snug.

Jareth waited, and he waited, and he waited some more until finally he was called into a small cubicle designed to be an office.

“I’m Pete Venkman,” Pete offered a hand, carefully looking over the latest nut to want to cash in on their franchise.

“Hello, I am Jareth. I want to be a Ghostbuster,” he offered, smiling back at him.

“Really?” Pete shook his head. “Since Winston’s on vacation, I suppose we could use a backup,” he stated, glancing up to catch Ray and Egon stopping at the front desk. “Hey guys!” he called, motioning them over.

“What have you got Venkman?” Ray Stantz asked, walking closer. When his eyes fell on Jareth, he had to suppress a laugh.

“New addition,” Venkman stated. “Meet Jareth, he’s filling in for Winston.”

“Hello,” Egon said, then went back to his business.

“Hey there, Jareth, welcome aboard,” Ray stated, offering a hand out of politeness.

“Hello,” Jareth replied, jumping up cheerily and shaking the man’s hand. When Ray pulled his hand away from him, Jareth just grinned. He was in.

~~~~~~

Gemma glanced at the image and was shocked. “He bloody did it!” she exclaimed, her eyes looking over her wonderful Christian Bale items that were now up for grabs. Her eyes fell to Jareth once again, waiting to see him fail with a vengeance.

~~~~~~~~

“Here, you have three floating vapors and two 2nd class repeaters,” Janine tore the paper from the pad and handed them to Venkman.

“Perfect time to break the new guy in, don’t you think Ray?” Venkman offered, handing him part of the sheets.

“Yeah, sure,” he replied, walking toward the door. “Get him suited up and to the Ecto,” he stated, pulling a cigarette from the pack and placing it between his lips. Watching Jareth walking away, he shook his head. “He won’t last even a day,” he muttered before making his way to the garage.

“Put these on and get back downstairs,” Venkman told him, shoving coveralls at him.

“Yes sir,” Jareth replied setting them down on the stool and beginning to open his shirt. “You aren’t going to stand there, are you?” he asked, staring back at Venkman.

“Yes, and listen up tights. You put the coveralls over your clothes, but put these on and lose the tights.” he stated as though talking to a five year old.

“Oh,” was all Jareth could say. Once dressed and pulling on the new boots that were standard issue for the ghostbusters, Jareth stood ready to face anything. Or so he thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The Ecto flew down the streets, merging in and out of traffic. Jareth sat in the back seat with a hand over his eyes. Getting sick from the way Ray drove, he didn’t want to look until he knew they were safely stopped.

“Let’s go,” Venkman stated, pulling Jareth’s hand from his eyes. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing, I was just catching a bit of sleep,” he told him, hiding the real reason.

Walking to the back of the Ecto, Ray pulled out the Proton Packs, handing one to Jareth. Pulling on his Proton Pack, he looked over at Jareth still holding his. “You have to put it on. It doesn’t work any other way,” he stated, helping Jareth put it on his back.

Jareth thought he was supreme, he had a Proton pack on his back, and the job everyone dreamed of. As Ray left loose of the pack, Jareth was faced with something he never considered. The weight was more than he could bear as he fell over backwards and landed on the pavement.

“Guys, could you be so kind as to help me up?” Jareth called, his arms and legs wiggling in the air.

Venkman grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet. “We don’t make training packs Jareth,” he stated seriously.

“I’ve got it now,” Jareth stated, bending over slightly to adjust for the weight. He hoped Gemma wasn’t watching.

~~~~~~

Gemma busted out laughing, her eyes stinging with tears of joy. “Oh my God!” she shrieked, almost in near hysterics. “That pouch will be mine!” she laughed maniacally, trying to control herself.

What she saw next was more than she could have bargained for. They had walked into the building same as any other time, except this time they had Jareth. When he flipped the switch on his pack and went flying backwards from the sheer force of it, Gemma held her aching sides.

The trap opened and Jareth fell, blinded by the light he wasn’t supposed to look at. Gemma continued to watch as they handed him the trap to carry and the vapors tore at his nose and made his eyes water.

“Poor Jareth, can’t take a bit of stench? That should be kiddie play next to that bog of yours,” she said to the image of the jittery king.

~~~~~~~~

Once outside, they piled into the car again and headed off to the next pickup. Jareth covered his eyes, trying to ward off the nausea, but the thought of being close to that smelly thing in back made his stomach turn.

Going through the same routine, he remembered the weight so he wouldn’t suffer the same fate as last time. Instead, he overcompensated and fell flat on his face. “Damn!” he bellowed, hitting the pavement with his hand.

Again, he was helped up, but this time they watched him like a child. He was not a child. He was the Goblin King. He wouldn’t stand for this type of abuse. He would... his thought were broken as Spengler tugged on his sleeve, indicating the entrance way.

Nodding, Jareth rushed inside in an attempt to show the guys what he was made of, only to come face to face with a free floating vapor. His eyes bulged as his heart raced. Never had he seen a more detestable creature as this one before him. Not even Hoggle repulsed him this much.

The Vapor turned to see Jareth standing there with an odd look on his face. Rushing him in one last feat to freedom, the Vapor knocked Jareth down, leaving him slimed with ectoplasmic residue.

“Oh my God!” Jareth shrieked, the slimy substance flattening his hair. Lifting his hand, the ectoplasm dripped from his fingers. “That damn thing sneezed all over me!” he cried out, not sure if the substance would hurt his skin and hair.

Venkman walked through the door and laughed at the site. Jareth had somehow managed to get to his feet, and took off the Proton Pack. “What happened to you?” he asked, his voice showing a trace of humor.

“That horrid creature,” Jareth fumed, reaching for the zipper of his coveralls. Pulling downward, he exposed his bare chest.

“What the hell are you doing? Where’s your clothes?” Venkman asked, shocked that he was disrobing in the middle of downtown NY.

"Oh those dreadful garments are back at the base. I couldn't very well let them chafe my skin, could I?" Jareth shot him a look, dropping the overalls to the ground with a slosh.

“Put that back on, Jareth!” he commanded, pointing to the now discarded overalls.

“Over my dead body,” Jareth replied, conjuring a crystal. “I’ve had enough, I’m going home!” he spoke, before disappearing without a trace.

~~~~~~~~~

Gemma snickered at everything she had witnessed. This was too much. She couldn’t stand much more. A clearing throat behind her, made her jump out of surprise. Spinning around, there was Jareth, naked as a jaybird and grinning like a fox.

“You win, are you the first member to have me?” he asked, moving closer.

Gemma was at a loss for words, but fully responsive as his arms encircled her body, Jareth leading her to the depths of passion.