If All Else Fails You Can Blame It On Me 1/1
by Dee


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She's unhappy now, wasting away with each passing day. Her torment comes from
within, it can't be eased by an outside force. If I could take away her pain,
I would. I would do anything to take wrap her in wings of happyness.

That's beyond me, though. My carress only causes pain and doubt, my words
only inspire hatred. No demon in hell could understand the emptyness of my
life, how dead I feel. Except at those moments.

The moment when pride flashes up, with heroicism rears it's head. But those
moments end, and soon the holy light is gone and the paladin turns into a
wraith of who they had been. Everything that shimmers in my world fades in an
instance, and I am left to watch as I destroy my own world. Each time I
destroy myself.

Rebirth is pain. Each time I find my way again I am only setting other up for
destruction. Another heroine, more dreams the tear apart, more silken words
to act like acid on a flashing soul.

Then everything flickers, and I fall. In their triumph they mark their own
self destruction, I watch this again and again. It's over now, I will do this
no more. My soul is more damned than any mortal, my prison is time. Time that
endures forever and forces me to watch.

Watch the girls I have destroyed. Watch myself grow no older, my eyes become
harder and dark. I wish I could stop them from destroying themselves. I wish
time would stop.

tempus fugit. descencit facile avernus.

* * *